Sunshine

XL

IN the cold 4AM breeze Olivia ran around in her thin pajamas. She forgot to bring over her jacket and actually did not even thought about it. She also left her car outside the gate parked on the street carelessly. It would have been towed if she doesn’t live in an exclusive subdivision. But that was not the concern for today― both the car and her shivering.

Olivia almost flew her way from Love Lingerie to home but she stayed frozen at the door, afraid to step in or even hold the knob to open it. She can feel her heart beating on her head together with her heavy breathing. She’s scared what will welcome her the moment she goes in. Will the home she tried to build with love will still feel home after tonight?

Olivia closed her eyes. Slowly she opened the door to their home.

Darkness welcomed her the moment she opened her eyes. Once again the lights are off. She turned them on, holding her breath. On the now bright living room Olivia’s eyes immediately searched for Alex. She found her on the same sofa she’s always found sitting nowadays. Olivia quickly ran through her eyes all over her lover.

“Was it you?” Olivia asked, lids shut tight. “Answer me!”

Her whole body trembled. Olivia refused to believe whatever truth the dripping blood from Alex’s hands suggest. “Alex please…”

Alex eyes were out of focus. Olivia walked to Alex and kneeled in front of her. Her eyes stayed low on her own knees, and on the floor slowly turning her cold. Olivia took the handkerchief from her pajamas shallow pockets and started wiping Alex’s clutched hands. The white handkerchief slowly turned to red as they cleaned them. “Pleas tell me. It wasn’t you, right?”

“Where’s my reward?” Alex met Olivia’s eyes. Alex was so out of it to understand Olivia’s pleading eyes. “I’ve been following your orders like a good kid. Why am I not getting my reward?”

“They weren’t my orders.” Olivia wrapped Alex’s hands with the handkerchief and held it tight. She brought it to her face, her head shaking no as she looked at Alex’s face. “No, Alex. No.”

“What do you mean? I only do what you ask, babe.” Alex removed her hands from Olivia. The handkerchief fell. For some reason Olivia’s eyes nailed on the blood stained square cloth now beside her knees. Alex held Olivia’s face and caressed it. It left a stain on Olivia’s face. “Babe I miss you. I’ve been lonely. Please sleep with me.”

Alex stood up from the sofa and took Olivia’s hand and gently pulled her to her feet. Alex smiled as she guided themselves to their bedroom. She sat Olivia on their bed, and slowly, one by one she took off every piece of her own clothing. There wasn’t a rush in all her moves. She undid all buttons and untied all ribbons as slowly as she could, buttons clicking open and ribbons fluttering as delicate as they could. It’s as if she’s doing a dance, a ritual meant to offer herself and her love. Then she walked to Olivia who stayed sitting on the bed and stood in front of her. Slowly Alex’s hands reached for the buttons of Olivia’s pajamas. She undressed the woman who stayed still, her hands light as a feather as they touch the thin plaid cotton.

The fading moonlight in the break of dawn shone on their dark bedroom through the window with its drawn curtains open. The light it gave is enough for them to see each other’s lines and curves in their nakedness thoroughly, as well as the expression their faces made and the emotion their eyes reflected.

Alex sat on Olivia’s lap facing her. Her eyes are moist and full of emotions as she caressed her lover’s face, as it’s always been. With all those emotions Alex owned Olivia’s lips. Her lips move slow but in hunger it almost hurt. But Olivia stayed unmoving, lips only opening not kissing back.

Alex’s kisses went deeper as she lie Olivia on the bed and positioned herself on top of her. Her hands, as if having a mind of their own busied themselves at the wonderland of Olivia’s luscious body. It’s a place where they already familiarized themselves. But amidst the heating Alex Olivia is still unresponsive. But Alex knows she can own Olivia tonight.

“It’s okay. Let me be the one to shower you with love tonight.”

Alex said after she pulled from the kiss, catching her breath. She gave Olivia a smile in an attempt to reassure her.

“I want to love you more, Olivia.”

Olivia who only stayed staring ahead on the walls and ceiling finally looked at Alex. As their eyes met she started welling up.

“Why are you crying?”

Alex asked kissing the tear off from Olivia’s face. Olivia bawled and pulled Alex to a tight hug, not giving her a chance to move or to ask. Alex’s face stayed buried on Olivia’s chest, feeling its vibrato in rhythm to her sobs which Alex listened to with confusion and wonder.

Olivia’s cries was the only thing heard for the rest of the night.

“YOU still love Alex, right?”

Olivia went back to sipping from her cup, the coffee starting to get cold. She now swallowed the both bitter and sweet liquid in bigger amount since her tongue could already handle it.

“I know, Carlos. That you still do.”

Carlos, who already signaled his departure went back to sitting on the chair he just got up from. He stayed there silent for a while though he knows what words to say exactly. He wasn’t contemplating or anything. In fact, he had it admitted to himself already the moment he kissed Alex on their apartment.

Carlos nodded. “I do.”

After letting some chances of this past by them, now they’re talking as the ex and the current lover of someone they both care for― a conversation they know they would have to do sooner or later, which became now, at midnight at the pantry of the closed lingerie store. Though they don’t actually know what they need this conversation for since they can never be the classic two leading men fighting over a woman like in an ever-cliche classic drama. And Carlos would never let himself get caught in that unnecessary drama. And that was needless to say.

“Well, that was honest of you.” Olivia commented, matter-of-fact. She downed her coffee and put the mug on the sink. “What was she to you?”

“Are you asking me if she’s sweeter as a girlfriend or as a boyfriend?” Carlos joked, which they both softly chuckled to. “But seriously, she is no different. Still the most true and most sincere as ever.”

“You think she would never lie to herself?”

Carlos, looking distant nodded. “She’s always been true to her feelings and shows it the best way she knows possible. She would even let it flow out of her every chance she gets.”

Olivia stared at Carlos who is now lost at his own thoughts. His lips stretched a little and eyes glistened with whatever he is thinking right now. Olivia ended up staring in amusement. “Alex never hesitates in front of love. She always believed love is the most important thing in the world. Though I can’t really agree to that.”

Snapping the thoughts out his head Carlos asked. “What about you? Do you believe in that?”

Olivia simply averted her gaze, shrugging as she answers. “I don’t know. I guess I still have to be deeper in love.”

“You mean deepest?”

Olivia faced the sink and washed the mug she just used. “You’re right. Deepest.”

OLIVIA woke up in the strong sun through the window heating her face. In eyes squinting she saw the sun is already very high up. She guessed it’s already around 10AM and she was right―10:30AM to be exact. Today’s one of the rare occasions where her body clock failed to wake her up on time. But she couldn’t feel the sense of urgency despite. Olivia stayed lying on the wide and soft bed and stared at the ceiling blankly, before she removed the blanket from her naked body. Finally she went out of bed, then rummaged through the closet and took out a silk robe and wrapped it around herself before stepping out to the kitchen. That’s when she noticed a prepared breakfast and a note next to it. It was from Alex, as obvious as it is.

“You should stay home today and rest. Don’t worry I’ll take care of Love Lingerie. Enjoy your breakfast and see you later!”

That was how the note read. Olivia put it back to the table and started eating. Alex prepared for her the typical breakfast, a cup of fried rice topped with sunny side up egg and few strips of bacon. After taking her fill, Olivia turned on the coffee machine and made herself coffee. She enjoyed it on their bedroom sitting at the bed, staring at the window though the sun bothered her eyes.

Olivia then started to think how to spend this given “day-off” of her. After letting herself get lost with her thoughts and coffee she then realized she never knew how to spend her time alone rather than working. But then that would have been the case for anyone who happened to have some lucky stars and had their hobbies as their job. Love Lingerie made her dreams put into reality. Her own nakedness made her dream to curate undergarments that would make any woman feel powerful and luxurious. Every piece of the thin clothing she created was with a heart of a crying woman who still wants to feel powerful even in her nakedness. She wanted every piece that completed Love Lingerie make anyone wearing it feel their nakedness is not showing their weakness. But rather showing their most perfect whole. The lingerie piece serving as a gate, an opening greeting to a wonderland called woman.

Olivia continued sipping from her warm cup of coffee until it dried. After she stepped inside the shower and took a quick bath, got changed, and drove her way to the police station.

THE lone television set in a volume most acceptable― not too loud and not too soft spoke the news across the walls and people pacing about the cubicles not really paying attention to it. Of course since this is the police station, the news labeled as breaking would have arrived them first, and in most times the source of them too. The Kahilom Police Station carried on with their jobs with the TV as their background noise as well as the muffled conversation of the actual people on the premises.

Olivia stepped in the busy police station, catching the news of Peter Saragoza’s death. She managed to hear the last 3 sentences of the news bite before it moved on to the next. Still she continued to stare at the TV set though not really listening to it.

“Olivia?”

Olivia looked on her side. That was Carlos, quite surprised to see her. He then noticed a brown envelope Olivia clutched on her side.

“What brings you here? Though we would have requested your appearance anytime of the day.”

Olivia smiled. With that Carlos guided them to the interrogation room. They sat across each other.

“He’s my father.”

“We know.” Carlos added, clarifying. “We just knew.”

Olivia nodded. Carlos’ response was just how she has expected. Olivia just knew that somewhere among Saragoza’s bare belongings something would have lead to their relationship with each other. Though whatever would that be will still need a separate explanation. “How is his case going?”

“We confirmed Saragoza is another victim of the Serial Killing case.”

Carlos started spreading out the autopsy report in front of Olivia. He explained where the wounds are, what were the fatal ones, and which of those stab wounds eventually caused death. As Carlos relayed the deep wound on the stomach that penetrated the vital organs caused bleeding. As ruled out by the medical examiner, Peter Saragoza died on excessive bleeding.

“My dad’s dying. Well he is in a hospice for a reason.” Olivia told. To the best of her knowledge, in memories scarce to her she tried telling a story.

“He didn’t know my Mom had me. I don’t know why they had to break up because no one ever told me. I guess I would never know.” A small laugh escaped Olivia’s lips. She continued. “Anyways my mom would have planned of raising me alone. But then she died giving birth at the hospital. And that was how I ended up at the orphanage.”

Carlos, though listening attentively already knew the story Olivia is telling. Those were the exact family story they got through their investigation. Though they too still have to find out why the couple that would have parented the woman in front of him, who couldn’t even tell a different story of her parents as the investigation file, broke up.

“There was a time where I chose Costales over my own Dad, but that won’t happen now.”

Olivia said, ending the story of her parents that could actually easily end up as common knowledge. She put down the envelope she’s been clutching on top of the table in front of them.

“Here are the further details on the r**e accusation against Costales my father wrote.”

Olivia spoke the next words after she swallowed and take a long breath.

“I was the r**e victim.”