Boss Lady

chapter 3

SHARON

Don't be ashamed to weep. It's right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit can not grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones are sealed inside to comfort us. Pity those who don't feel anything at all. Emotions, in my experience, aren't covered by single words. I don't believe in sadness, joy, or regret." Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it over simplifies feeling. I'd like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic traincar constructions like, say, "the happiness that attends disaster." Or: "the disappointment ofsleeping with one's fantasy.I cried like no man's business, jasmine and Maria even left the room my friends didn't care aboutme they just watched me cry ...they walked in an hour later with plastics for hungry lion.you saw that guy the way he was eyeing you " jasmine said he was hot " maria repliedthose are men my dear, a man that can spoil you rotten not some men " jas said I know right " maria laughedI knew that statement was directed to me.I got a call from a strange number I was hoping it was Ray but it wasnt.hey " he said yes, who is this " I answered in a low voice Caleb you didn't save my line " he askedwhy and for what " I asked why are you so rude, I just want to be your friend that's all " he saidlook I have enough friends I don't need any more friends" I yelledok " he hung up.what has the poor man done to you huh" jasmine yelledhow is that your business " I yelled back my business is you keep crying for a horny stupid i***t while a good man Caleb is in love with youand is willing to make you happy " she said do I look like I want him, let me be with my horny boyfriend " I saidyou are an i***t you know that, the stupid guy you are crying for is busy f*****g another girl in hisroom if you want go see for yourself and you are here crying your eyes out, Nye Nye ray nyeeeray " she said why can't you be like maria she is supportive" I saidsupportive of what Sharon " maria askedabout my relationship " I saidwhich relationship , please Sharon don't involve me in your nonsense I told you the last time that when you talking about ray don't involve me ,I warned you about him and you never listened to me,and please if he hurts you cry from outside cause we pay for the this room together and we havethe right to peace " " maria said so bitter .you are not fair so I can't express myself " I askedthey clapped their hands.express what, why do you act like a desperate b***h aaiii" jas asked respect me please" I shouted what's there to respect,? a man who just needs you because he feels horny when he gets what hewants he goes and you are busy polluting our ears with your noise " jas said.jasmine was a no-nonsense kind of lady she said what's on her mind whether you like it or not,whether it hurts you or not as long as it is out.come here again and start nyee nyeee here " she said as I closed the door.I went to sit somewhere and watched people pass by it really hurts, that your friends can't support your relationship. I got up and went to Ray's room ...hey" he said opening the doorhi" I said I took a seat and starred at him.Sharon am sorry that I hurt you, I promise to be the best boyfriend, I won't hurt you ever again, Iwas stupid " he saidI starred at him without altering a word.Sharon please forgive me " he saidI kissed him.we didn't make love, I had a 15:00hrs class so I left and found the two roomies busy watching amovie. I took my school bag and went to class. I got a text from Caleb." I didn't mean to hurt you or say anything that hurt you, all I ever wanted was just a friend, amnew here in Lusaka and I wanted someone to show me around but anyway will find someone else,have a blessed day sweetie"I just clicked my tongue.he thinks am cheap oh please. after class, I went to Ray's room, where I even slept