In All the Wrong Places

Chapter 1: Beginnings-2

That Sunday, Sam had trouble deciding what to wear to the concert. It was a church event, after all, but she did want to look stylish and attractive. She settled on black jeans and a low-cut knit top with long sleeves. Barry rang the doorbell just as she finished combing her short brown hair.

The guitar concert was dull and long; Sam would have had trouble staying awake except for the gentle pressure of Barry’s side against hers. She was acutely aware of his male presence in her space, and not quite sure how to handle it. But she did like being with him…and it would be nice to have someone to do things with, to share with….to save her from always being alone.

When Barry took Sam home, she nervously turned the key in the lock and turned to invite Barry in. Emily and Dax were at their dad’s that weekend; they were alone except for Sam’s cats, which scattered when they realized a stranger was in the house.

Sam was pleased to find Barry accepted her offer of a glass of wine; Sam was a drinker, not heavily, but daily, and would have found it awkward if Barry wasn’t. They laughed about the guitar player, about funny stuff the kids did, about Barry’s lame jokes. Sam felt relaxed and attractive for the first time in years.

As Barry stood at the front door saying good-bye, Sam had an overwhelming and unexpected impulse to kiss him. What harm would it do? She touched his shoulder and leaned in gently…a nice kiss.

Before she knew what was happening, Sam was “involved.” It took only a month or so, five or six dates, before the two of them found themselves in Barry’s bed. It seemed so natural to Sam to relax with this person who was so attuned to her, and so giving. Of course, an old hippie like Barry would have a waterbed; Sam had to laugh at the shades of the seventies that washed over her as she sank into the wavy expanse. And she was a bit shocked at herself for enjoying it…sex with a man…she had thought it was permanently behind her. But Barry was a blast to hang out with, and very understanding…and very willing to do whatever she needed sexually.

A long time ago, Sam had realized all her fantasies focused on women, but it wasn’t something she could share with anyone she knew. Until Barry. It came up so naturally, one night when they were sitting on Sam’s couch, sharing a bowl of microwave popcorn and drinking vodka and orange juice.

“You know, people’ve wondered about us.”

“Really? How come?” Sam asked.

“Well, a lot of people think…you might be…a lesbian.” He phrased it as a statement, but Sam could hear the question in his voice.

“Hmm. Well, sort of, yes.” Sam looked away and stayed very still, waiting for his next move.

“I don’t care, you know. I like you, Sam. I like spending time with you. And I trust you will be honest with me.”

Tears came to Sam’s eyes at this…this genuine acceptance from this truly decent person. She leaned over and kissed him, in total trust and relaxation.

Not long after, they were together in the semi-darkness of Sam’s bedroom.

“What do you want,” he whispered. “Anything…just tell me.”

“I need to think of…I don’t know…”

“What’s her name?” Sam sank into the comfort of being understood.

“Jennifer…is that okay?”

“Anything’s okay…I just like being with you.”

In the darkness of the night, Sam let down a tiny bit of the wall she had built in the past several years. Barry was not exactly her mom’s picture of the ideal man, but he was kind and genuine, and he was a man. Just maybe, this would work.”