In All the Wrong Places

Chapter 4: Polyamory

Chapter 4: Polyamory

Sam was willing to go along with it—at least for the moment. The two of them were in Barry’s car, on their way to attend the monthly meeting of a group whose website claimed to promote “polyamory as a way of life.” Although Sam was still a bit uncomfortable with the idea of “multiple partners” (as it said on the website), Barry had suggested to Sam over and over that having an open relationship was the path to making sense of their future. And Sam did have to admit it would be totally cool if she could find a female lover and still have Barry, living together as partners and friends, but allowing (even encouraging) a third or fourth partner or a “secondary” lover. Sam acknowledged to Barry she believed in the concept philosophically, but couldn’t quite picture how it would work in an emotional sense. Barry’s rationale was this was the way she could have a female lover and still be with him. With this idea in mind, Sam was about to attend her first meeting of “the poly group.”

The meeting was held in a Chinese buffet restaurant, in the private dining area set aside for club meetings and large parties. Sam and Barry were among the last to arrive, which only added to the apprehension Sam already felt. Crowds were not Sam’s thing. Her mouth was dry and her stomach unsettled.

“You know how I feel about meeting new people,” she whispered to Barry. “And this is a whole room full!”

“It’s okay, lady,” replied Barry, using the pet name he always called Sam. “Just stick with me.”

Sam held onto Barry’s hand like a lifeline. As they entered the meeting room, an attractive woman in her mid-twenties approached them, hand extended in greeting.

“Hey, guys. I’m Erin. You’re new here.”

Sam said nothing and left the introductions to Barry.

“Yep,” said Barry. “I’m Barry, and this is my partner, Samantha. We’ve been watching the website…sounds interesting.”

He took Erin’s hand and shook it. “Where do we sit?” Sam attempted what she hoped was a friendly smile.

“Just grab a spot anywhere,” said Erin. “I need to go to the head table and sit with my family. Make yourself at home…enjoy the meeting.”

Barry and Sam found two empty seats and sat across from a middle-aged couple who smiled as the newcomers joined them. Next to the man was a younger woman obviously infatuated with him, clinging to his hand and leaning on his shoulder. Barry introduced himself and Sam the same way he had with Erin a few minutes earlier.

The man answered for all three of them, “I’m Claude…on my right is my wife and soul mate, Joanna, and on my left is my new love, Alexa. Welcome!”

Barry smiled and picked up the menu. Sam tried her best to appear nonchalant and looked at her menu as well. She didn’t know exactly what she had expected, but the reality of the situation did not feel comfortable. Sam had a brief flash of a thought that all of them, herself included, were probably headed straight to hell.

Barry and Sam both ordered the buffet, as did the trio across from them. They headed toward the serving area, along with the other poly group folks. Sam discovered the buffet was huge and included her favorite hot shredded pork; she headed back to the table to enjoy her meal. The server came to take drink orders, and Sam got a glass of wine, which helped to ease her anxious state of mind somewhat.

After the meal, Erin stood at her place and called the meeting to order.

“Welcome to both the ‘old-timers’ and new folks—we’re glad you’re here. I’m Erin and this is my partner Doug.” She gestured toward the man at her right. “Next to him are our partner Diane and her new lover Sean.”

Sam felt her anxiety level rise, in spite of the wine. This wasn’t at all what she wanted. Deep inside, she knew what she did want was a woman as her partner and Barry as her best friend. The multiple thing just didn’t feel right, and Sam had a twinge of inner warning she was now adding more layers of self-deception to the mess she had already made of her identity.

She glanced over at Barry. He seemed relaxed and interested in the conversations around him. But Sam had come to realize Barry was pretty much always relaxed and seemed to fit into any situation. Not Sam. She couldn’t wait for the meeting to be over; if it weren’t for Barry’s presence, she would have escaped right then in the middle of the meeting.

At last, the business part of the meeting came to a close. Erin and Doug included Sam and Barry in a general invitation to “after-meeting party” at their house. Sam gave Barry a look that said in no uncertain terms, “No!” He got the message.

On the way home in the car, Sam asked Barry what he thought about the group.

“They seem like cool people, for the most part. I like Claude and Joanna. What about you?”

“I don’t know. They seem okay…but I don’t know if I’m comfortable with the whole poly concept. I guess I still believe in ‘true love’—silly, huh?”

“Not silly…just limiting,” replied Barry. “I think it would be great to have you in my life, and let you have what you need, too. Why not?”

“Well, I guess…”

Sam was silent the rest of the way home. She couldn’t keep her thoughts from straying back to Erin’s long legs and silky red hair.