Light in my life

04|laugh

ANABELLE POV

School was stressful today but I'm glad I made it, so here I am lying on my bed replaying the events that happened today.

My mind drifts to Christian and I suddenly remember the gift he gave me. I pick my bag from the tiled floor and open it. Removing the box I open it and I look at the phone inside, I don't even realise I'm smiling until see through my reflection in the phone screen.

Its not about the phone, I could get a new one if I want to, but its the fact that someone remembered me. And it makes me feel...

Happy.

And let me tell you, I don't remember the last time I was ever happy.

I remove the charger from the box and plug it in a socket in my room.

Assignments weren't given today, and I dont feel like studying so just lie on my bed and drift off to sleep.

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The sound of thunder wakes me up from sleep, I wake up and look outside my window, the sky is dark and its windy outside.

Looks like its going to rain tonight.

I get up from my bed and lock my window. My stomach grumbles reminding me that I haven't eaten since I came back from school.

I go downstairs to the kitchen and I'm surprised to see my brother in the living room typing away on his laptop.

"Good evening" I greet him, he looks up from his laptop and looks at me for a second, then looks back at his laptop and continues typing.

Why am I not surprised?

I go to the kitchen, ever since our argument three years ago everything changed between us. We're not longer as close as we use to be, we rarely talk to each other, only greetings, hi and hello.

I decide to make my favourite food, yam porridge.

After I finish cooking I dish out food for myself and start going to the dining at the corner of the living room.

"How's school?" Freddie says making me halt "good" I reply and continue my movement.

"How's work" I ask

"Good" he answers and we are enveloped in a blanket of silence none of us even trying to lift it up.

The only sounds that can be heard is the sound of my spoon clashing with my plate and my brother's fingers colliding with the buttons on his laptop.

I finish up quickly and go to the kitchen and wash the plate.

I start going to my room when I hear "won't you ask about mom and dad" Freddie asks me and I halt, I turn around facing him.

"How's mom and dad" I ask blankly

He stares at me like he's trying to see what's going through my head.

"Good, dad's in Italy with one of his investors and mom is doing good in paris" he says smiling and I feel tears in my eyes.

"Did they ask about me?" I ask him but he doesn't reply turning his attention back to his laptop.

I turn around before he could see the tears rolling down my cheeks and start climbing the stairs.

They didn't even ask about me.

I open the door to my room and I enter making sure to lock the door behind me.

I try to hold back my tears and I feel a lump in my throat.

They rather be in Paris and Italy than be with me.

Skip

I don't want to cry, but the tears start falling out and I wipe them with the back of my hand.

I don't know when I open my drawer or when I take the cocaine out or when I pour a small amount of it on my study table or when I sniff it into me. But it's already too late, the feeling of being high is already kicking in and I fall on my bed facing the ceiling enjoying the feeling of forgetting myself even if it's just a small amount of time.

Safe.

♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨

The ringing of my alarm wakes me up from my sleep, my eyes feel heavy and I feel light headed, I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror.

My face looks puffy, my eyes are red and I can see a small amount of white powder on the tip of my nose.

I thought I was free from it but it looks like I'm wrong.

I need my therapist.

I'll go see her after school today.

I do my morning routine quickly and throw some clothes on. I just want to leave the house before my brother wakes up.

I put on a black hoodie and black sweatpants and grab my bag from my study table. I open my bedroom door peeking to see if my brother is around but he isn't so I take as my cue to leave.

I run down the stairs and leave the house, o spot my driver and I walk to him quickly.

"Good morning eni" he greets me.

"Good morning sir" I say with a half smile and get into the car.

He gets in and starts the car driving out of the compound.

"You're early today o".

"I have a test today so I want to be in class early" I lie

He nods but still gives me the 'I don't think you're telling the truth' look.

We make it to school thirty minutes later and I tell him goodbye before getting out of the car.

I speed walk straight to my class, there are no students in school only a few teachers and the cleaners.

I guess I am too early.

I enter my class and seat at my spot at the back of the classroom, I put my head on the table and close my eyes. I feel so tired, drained and weak.

I hear laughter and chattering and I open my eyes and lift my head from the table, students are in class talking amongst themselves making me realise that I slept off.

I can't control the yawn that slips out and I rub my eyes with the back of my palm.

Everything looks a little blurry. Maybe it because of sleep, I check my wristwatch.

Ten minutes before assembly, I have ten minutes to sober up.

"Hey" a familiar voice calls out and I turn sideways to look at him. He looks handsome today with his all black outfit. Black T-shirt, black jeans but his sneakers are a white, there's a chain around his neck with and E shaped pendent his hair is in a ponytail making him look like a pure african model.

"Are you done eye r****g me?" he whispers and I feel my face go hot.

I glare at him while he is grinning at me making me more angry.

Suddenly his grin slowly vanishes and it's replaced with a concerned look.

"What's wrong,why do you look so tired?" He asks.

Is it that obvious.

"Its nothing,I'm okay" I answers but the look he gives me tells me he does not believe me.

"I'm ok I promise" I say to him and he nods regardless.

"So" he starts "today is the first day of us being friends so I was thinking if you'll go out with me, maybe for ice cream or anything you like"

I stare at him for a minute...

"Okay" I say and his eyes widen in shock. "Did you just agree?" He asks unsure.

"so... should I disagree?" I ask him with a blank look.

"N-no, I'm sorry, don't disagree" he rambles making me chuckle.

Wait! Did i just laugh?

I don't think I'm myself today.

"So what time?" I ask.

"Four pm today I'll come pick you from your house, text me your address".

"No" I say he can't come to my house I don't want anyone finding out about me.

"Why?" He asks looking confused.

"Why don't we just go immediately after school?".

"Ok, as long as I get to spend time with you" he says and immediately his eyes widen like he didn't mean to say that.

"O...k?"