Days of Darkness

Chapter 58

IKEA."

"Exactly," Wendy said. We roamed the store admiring the craftsmanship. Some of the things were simply old and probably ugly when they were built. I had to admit that I did like when the maker put in the extra effort, carving designs into the wood. Unlike today's furniture, I could tell it was a labor of pride, not profit. We exited the store pleased with what we saw.

"Do you buy a lot of antiques?" I asked.

"No, not really," Wendy replied. "We're on the road as much as we're at home. Maybe someday I'll start a collection."

We ambled through a few more stores. Held our noses at a candle store and made faces at an art store. The paintings were of average quality but had astronomical prices. They did have a nice picture of a little girl sitting on the edge of a lake. The artist gave her an aura that looked like it was generating wind away from her. The flower and trees all had a subtle bend like they were opposed magnetically from the girl. I found it almost called to me. At $1,500, I wasn't going to answer in this lifetime.

Wendy insisted that she buy me a cup of coffee at Carmen's Coffee. It was a small shop with only five tables. I ordered a cup of candy bar, a double chocolate chip frappuccino. Wendy went for caffeine. I was never a strong fan of coffee, but chocolate held a place of honor on my tongue.

"Did you always know what you wanted?" I asked. It was a question that I couldn't ask Mom or Dad. Mom always seemed to know, and Dad just flowed through life like it was a gift. Grandma would have given me some weird answer I would have only half understood. Wendy had no ties to me and could tell me the truth.

"Oh, God no," Wendy replied, "when I was your age, I was confused as shit." She sipped her coffee, oblivious to her swearing. I wanted the freedom she seemed to extrude.

"I don't even have choices," I admitted, "I have no idea what I want. I have decisions coming up and 'I don't know' is the only answer I have." I felt the oppressive weight of the future shift a little as I shared my apprehension. It wasn't any lighter. Maybe, talking about it made me stronger.

"Good," Wendy said, smiling. "I'm glad I wasn't the only one."

"It's scary," I admitted.

"Don't worry so much," Wendy said. "Make whatever choice seems best at the time. Something will come along and steer you on your path. I can see it in you."

"I'm not as happy as I think I should be," I continued. "I look around at people like you and everyone is content. I feel like I'm left out of it all." Wendy put down her cup. I could almost see the pity in her eyes. I wanted desperately to take back what I just said. I didn't want to ruin my time with her.

"I was where you were," Wendy said. My whole body sighed at her words. She understood. "I have no less apprehension or misfortune than you do. What I do have is someone to share it with." She looked away for a moment, then looked back. "I can only tell you that problems get less. Less important, less worrisome, and less insurmountable. You find someone to share it with, and the less is lessened even more." She chuckled and lifted her cup back up. "That didn't make any sense, did it?"

"All the sense in the world," I said. I knew exactly what she was saying. It was a relief to know I wasn't alone in my fear of the future. It was also nice to know that the worry gets less worrisome.

"Sometimes, I envy your youth," Wendy said. "Other times, I relish my wisdom. Age makes the body weaker, but the mind stronger." She sighed. "Then again, to have my a*s look like yours again: I would trade some wisdom for that." We shared a good laugh. I needed it, and she enjoyed it. At that moment, I would have traded my a*s for some wisdom.

.10 - Teegan

We returned to a very crowded Tangerine. It pleased Wendy to see the number of people who paid to see the concert. We had to wait in line at the front door to get in. I guess we could have gone right to the front, but it seemed rude to cut. The line wasn't that long, and it gave us time to people watch.

"They must like the Smooth Gliders," I said to Wendy.

"We won't fill a colosseum, but we'll never starve," Wendy replied. "We're in talks with PBS. That will send album sales through the roof if it pans out."

"I thought that's old people music," I said without thinking.

"Usually," Wendy said with a smile, "it's great music played by old musicians. Young people don't donate to PBS."

"Sorry," I said, "I didn't mean..."

"No worries," Wendy interrupted, "you have an a*s, I have wisdom." She made me laugh. For some reason, I felt the need to link my hands behind my back and cover my butt. I was happy she laughed with me.

"Hello, Matt," I said when we finally made it inside. I flashed my wristband, and he smiled at me, glad that I remembered his name.

"Where's your boyfriend?" he asked. I let it go since I would probably never see him again.

"Practicing," I said, "or waiting for me." He waved us in with a kind nod. I felt special being recognized by the bouncer. It's my first club, and the bouncer knew me. I'm in the in-crowd.

We moved through the tables, some with no seats, and made our way to the front. Wendy grabbed my hand and drove point. I followed with a large smile on my face. I could feel the excitement building. From the bits of conversation I could pick up, there were people here who followed the band around the country. I had never heard of the Smooth Gliders before, but they obviously had some groupies.

Our table was waiting for us, complete with a reserved sign. I knew I had a ticket, but didn't realize it was front row.

"We have the best seats in every dive," Wendy shouted above the din. I smiled as she dragged me to the table. 'We' meant the significant others of the performers. It wasn't a date, but I was Caleb's guest. Right then, I was a special guest, and I couldn't be more impressed.

Caleb met us at the table. He was so pleased when he saw us I thought his smile would break his face. He must have spent his time explaining why the best table in the house was saved with only one person sitting at it. He said something to me, and I nodded, having no idea what it was over the din. I followed his hand signals and sat next to him.

"I thought you'd be backstage," I said, leaning into his ear.

"Tom will call me up at intermission," Caleb said, his breath tickling my ear. Unless we wanted to shout, talking directly into ears was the only way to communicate. There were simply too many people in the club. "I got a pitcher of raspberry lemonade," he continued, pointing at the pink colored juice in the center of the table. "Is that okay?"

I leaned into his ear and voiced my approval. A shiver ran down Caleb's body that made me smile. I guessed my breath tickled him as well. Caleb began pouring me a glass while I leaned over to Wendy and asked her if she wanted some. I half understood the lack-of-vodka decline. I smiled, knowing enough not to pour her a glass.

Caleb handed me a glass. I took a sip and thanked him by moving lips to form the words. He smiled, so I knew he understood. I thought back to the discussion I had with Wendy and decided it was a good time to find out things. It wasn't like we could have an argument with all the noise.

"Do you think this is a date?" I asked into Caleb's ear. His head moved away quickly, and he looked into my eyes. I saw a mixture of fear and wonder. Maybe I had made a mistake. Maybe I should have asked after he played. Confidence came over him, and he leaned to my ear.

"No, but I want it to be," Caleb said clearly. Wendy was mostly right. A million thoughts ran through my mind. I could end it now, crush him before he went on stage. That seemed a non-starter. I didn't want to crush him. I didn't want him to think I was for or against the idea. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what I wanted or why I asked. I blinked my eyes and tried to make the best decision I could at the given time. I kissed his cheek.

Caleb beamed a smile that encompassed his entire face. Thankfully, he didn't kiss me back, which would have confused me even more. I had no idea why I kissed him. He paid me a compliment in his own way, and I returned one. It was better than any words I could put together. It only took a second, and Wendy was right, he certainly hadn't hit any ugly trees. In fact, he looked pretty handsome with that smile meant for me.

"Now you've done it," Wendy said into my other ear. I could see the laughter in her eyes. I was about to comment when the MC came out to announce the band. We all turned, and I avoided things I really couldn't explain. The band would give me time to think.

I was enthralled with the energy that exploded when the band came out. They obviously had a strong following, and now I was part of it. I couldn't help standing and screaming with everyone else as they took the stage. The echo of the crowd drowned out every other sound and helped pump the excitement. Wendy steadied me when my jumping got out of hand. Caleb smiled and moved next to me. I smiled and nodded at whatever he said into my ear. It was easier than trying to get him to repeat it.

Everything began to simmer down when Tom lifted the strap of his sax over his head and approached a microphone mounted in front of the band. The size of his smile showed how much he appreciated the applause. It looked like he'd have trouble forming words.

"Thank you!" Tom shouted, then repeated it with his hands up to get everyone to quiet down. "We really appreciate being back in Bangor!" That caused another round of screaming applause. I looked around and figured there was only room for a few hundred people, but it sounded like thousands. He waited for the crowd to quiet again.

"Wendy," Tom said loudly, "I love you." The crowd went nuts again, and I looked at Wendy who was blowing a kiss to the stage. Tom lifted the sax to his lips, raised his hand. The crowd quieted quickly. The hand dropped, the drums and bass guitar kicked in, and Tom followed with a deep sax that sounded more like lead vocals than an instrument.