Days of Darkness

Chapter 2

My hand began to tingle on her tummy, almost like it had gone to sleep. I grabbed the package of wipes with my other hand, turning my attention back to Stinky. The tingle had expanded up my arm, a strangely comfortable feeling. I slowed, watching her eyes take me in. My body embraced the pleasant feeling as it spread. My smile grew, my eyes closed. Peace, simple and pure, wrapped around me like a blanket.

An awe of life developed inside me. I remembered the first time I saw the vastness of the ocean, the desert sunset, and a baby deer in the woods. All of these spread like a soft fog in my mind. Each igniting an excitement in tomorrow. My place was comfortably defined, yet a vastness so unlimited was spread before me, and nothing seemed impossible. Most of what I had done before was no more than a lesson of what not to do. I had so much potential and knew what was needed. I saw the future, where I should be, a place where I mattered and had the respect of so many. There was no embarrassment, no failures or regrets. Happiness was such a simple thing.

I quickly pulled my hand away. The feelings dissipated like a receding tide. I breathed. She was very special.

"Who are you, Stinky?" I asked. The little smile factory gave me no answer I could understand.

.2 - Sam

Stinky's butt was disgusting. A newfound respect for my mother grew in me as I lifted legs, shifted them this way and that, using way too many wipes to remove the foulness. The tingling started again, so I switched hands which seemed to stall the effect.

"You're gross, Stinky," I said, trying not to gag. She just smiled. Anything I would say or do seemed to please her. "Your butts all red now. What did you eat? It's like toxic waste." More smiles and part of a laugh. I had to switch hands again.

"I got it on my damn fingers," I said, pulling another wipe out. Stinky seemed to enjoy my complaining. I had to admit, I enjoyed her smiles. I always figured being a parent was a sucker play. I was beginning to see the appeal. Her happiness was contagious.

I pulled away the soiled diaper and filled it with nasty wipes, folding the grossness away. I tucked the clean diaper under Stinky's red butt. It took me two tries at taping it shut. It was too loose the first time.

"There, isn't that better?" I asked her. She kicked her legs at me, obviously pleased with her clean a*s. It was strange, looking down at her. At that moment, I was all she had. My hands found her feet and pumped them back and forth like she was riding a bike. She thought it was a fabulous game. The tingling began again. This time, I didn't let go.

Dreams, fabulous dreams. My own dreams made whole. Paths to achieving them no longer seemed insurmountable. My mental fortitude grew as fast as my potential. I saw how I could shape the world, adding instead of subtracting, building instead of weakening. I liked myself for the first time in years. I let go of Stinky's feet and breathed deep. She smiled. I knew then I would make good on my lies. Stinky was going to Portland. She was too important to ignore.

Stinky and I sat, splitting an apple juice box. I was able to squeeze half of it into one of the bottles without getting everything sticky. She was pretty good about helping to hold the bottle. We were partners in crime now. I had thrown the fouled diaper and wipes as deep into the desert as I could. The odor had been too much to bear. Stinky did nothing to stop me, so I labeled her an accessory to my blatant disregard for the Arizona littering laws. Stinky and I were badass.

Eventually, another vehicle would come down the road. It was a lonely two-lane road used mostly for ranch access. As the heat of the day wound down, someone would want to take a trip to civilization. If not, it would be a very long walk. One I wouldn't attempt with the sun up.

I settled Stinky into her car seat, buckling her back in. Leaving her in the shade, I retrieved the pot I had been transporting, wrapped it in one of the blankets and stashed it off the side of the road, behind a sequoia that was hosting a few scraggly bushes at its base. I was taking a risk that it wouldn't be found. Losing a delivery was not a healthy thing to do. Since I had stopped bleeding, I changed into a clean shirt I had in my travel bag. The other blanket, I used to cover the poor woman. A task I found difficult.

I couldn't find a purse and it didn't feel right to search the body. I wondered if I would ever know who loved me. The second bag from Stinky's car held some women's clothes and toiletries. At the bottom of the bag, I found a thick roll of twenty dollar bills. I transferred the few things of Stinky's into the diaper bag, plus the money. Just shy of three thousand dollars. Stinky's inheritance, more than enough to get us to Portland.

I looked at the time on my phone and thought I should wait thirty minutes before opening another juice box. I had it worked out to get us to sunset. It was so damn hot; even sweat evaporated before it could soak clothes. After it got dark, we would have to start walking. We spent our waiting time talking. Well, I talked, and Stinky listened. She was a wonderful listener, unlike all the women in my past. She laughed at my jokes and just about anything else I spoke about.

Two juice boxes later, I began to get concerned. Stinky was getting lethargic. Her reactions slowed, and the animation had left her arms and legs. I pulled her out of her chair and laid her back on the plastic mat in the shade. She felt warm, so I stripped her to her diaper. I used a clean diaper as a fan and created a breeze for her. She closed her eyes, her lips moving as if they were feeding. She slept as I fanned and worried.

I got it in my head that Stinky was my chance at redemption. I had done some pretty awful things in my life. Nothing like murder but screwing over others never bothered me. The strange hope that bled through Stinky was mind altering. I didn't understand it; I just accepted it. I made it my mission to preserve it. If I could do that, it would be like apologizing to the world and the world having to accept. She was my life raft. She was changing me, and it felt good.

It's not like I had much future in transporting pot. Colorado was the first state to fall, and I was sure others would follow in time. Once it was a business, uneducated slobs like me were out of a job. Bussing tables or washing dishes was all I was qualified for. That would have to change.

The lady said I would be hunted, that they would use Stinky. The thoughts didn't sound as ridiculous as when I had first heard them. I didn't know who 'they' were, but I knew how to hide. I had been practicing running under the radar for my whole adult life. A child was just another package. I could move her from point A to point B without being noticed. Stinky was my destiny. My ultimate run. I looked down at the sleeping baby. Hope had an amazing effect.

The shadows were long when I finally heard an engine. A small box truck was coming down the road. I lifted stinky in my arms, waking her. I didn't like how warm she was. Her head fell to my shoulder sluggishly. I needed the vehicle to stop. I couldn't imagine it wouldn't. Her legs were using my arm like a seat causing the tingle to grow. Clarity surged through me. The desert lost its dullness, its beauty exploding in my eyes. I saw the slight increase in the speed of the truck and sensed the driver's desire to pass us by. It was as clear as if I were sitting next to him. I was inside him. I knew his conscience was digging into his mind, fighting against a desire to avoid other's problems. I stepped onto the road with confidence. The brakes engaged, the back of the truck sliding sideways, the driver compensating as I knew he would. The truck skid to a halt. I had five feet to spare. Not really a challenge.

"s**t!" the driver screamed as he exited the truck. He slammed the door. "Are you stupid? I almost killed you." He was a stocky man in overalls.

"I needed you to stop," I said, walking quickly to passenger side of the cab. He wasn't the violent type. I don't know how I knew, I just did. He was scared, socially inept. Unconfident in a crisis but generally a good man. Hope told me so.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?' the man yelled, hurrying after me.

"My baby needs to cool down," I replied, "she's overheated. We've been out here all day." I wasn't stopping. He did.

"A baby?" He said with sorrow. I could feel his heart drop. He almost left a child on the side of the road. Guilt filled him, then a strength swelled in his mind. He committed. "Let me start up the truck, get the air going again." He moved quickly to the driver side. I found the passenger side locked. The man climbed into the driver seat and unhesitantly popped the lock. It felt significantly cooler in the cab.

I laid Stinky on the bench seat, climbed in and closed the door. The man closed his door and started up the engine and adjusted the air to full. He put both hands on the wheel, bowed his head and sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. Stinky's power had receded and left me with a slight headache. I couldn't feel him any longer, and the memory of the oncoming truck sent a shiver through me. I had to take a deep breath to quell the latent fear.

"You stopped," I said with half a smile, "we're grateful." I hoped it would be enough. I needed him to trust me. I closed my eyes and tried to forget the image of the oncoming truck. The damn thing almost hit me. I ran my hand along Stinky's back. It was uncomfortably warm.

"Let me pull off to the side," he said, putting the truck into gear. I nodded as we maneuvered off the road. I could have told him it was unnecessary. He was the first vehicle in nearly four hours.

"I'm Jack," I said, holding out my hand. Not my real name, but I felt he needed some frame of reference.

"Charlie," he responded, shaking my hand.

"This is my daughter, Mary," I said, continuing the lies. He smiled at Stinky.

"What happened?" He asked, looking at the overturned car.

"Best guess," I said with confidence, "the lady in that car fell asleep behind the wheel." I pointed to the overturned vehicle.

"Where...is she?" Charlie was at a loss for words. Like me, I could tell he wasn't comfortable with death.

"I don't think she was wearing her seat belt," I answered, "she didn't make it. I don't even know her name." I didn't have to fake my sorrow. She loved me and entrusted me with Stinky.

"Oh, hell," Charlie sighed, looking down at his feet. "Anyone else hurt?"

"No, Mary and I were lucky," I responded. Stinky's skin was cooling. I lifted my hand as the tingling started. For some reason, I felt it best not to live in it. It was special and probably shouldn't be used as a crutch. I certainly didn't want to extend my headache or jump in front of another oncoming truck.

"I can get you to Winslow," Charlie said, "phone coverage will be spotty for awhile."

"Anywhere but here," I said in a grateful tone.

"What about the lady in the car?" Charlie asked. He didn't look like he wanted to touch a dead body. Nor did I.

"Do you have room in the back?" I asked, tilting my head toward the rear.

"I don't have the key," Charlie said, "I'm helping my brother move. He's got the key to the padlock." I disliked leaving the nameless woman alone in the desert. There was no way she could ride up front and I wasn't going to insult the body by strapping it to the roof. The police were going to have to handle it.

"It's probably best if we just call the police as soon as we can," I said, "anything else seems disrespectful." Charlie gave me a relieved nod of agreement. "I covered her with a blanket. It's the best we can do for now."

"Gather what you need, I'll watch your daughter." I left the cab and gathered Stinky's diaper bag, car seat, and my overnight bag. It took a few minutes to get the car seat set up. I had to guess how the seat belts fed through the frame. It seemed secure when I buckled Stinky, still sound asleep, into it. I was relieved to find her skin physically cooler. It was tight, but I squeezed in with the bags and we headed off.

"I'm glad you happened by." I tried to bolster Charlie. I needed his trust. "I think we were pretty close to being in real trouble."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner," Charlie said, ignoring his initial misgivings, "must have been pretty bad by the looks of the cars."

"Yeah, my side is killing me," I said, lifting the edge of my shirt. The blood was all dry. Nothing new was leaking out.

"Those car seats must really work," Charlie continued, his eyes traveling to Stinky for a quick look.

"I don't think she even knew it happened," I said, giving Stinky's feet a quick squeeze, "the heat bothered her more."

"Bet her mother will be relieved," Charlie said with a grin.

"I'm all Mary's got Charlie," I said sadly, "Cancer." That one word explained a lot. It also guaranteed he wouldn't dig any further. It was shitty of me to invent a dead wife, but I needed to keep the story simple. Some shared grief goes a long way to building trust.

"I'm so sorry." Charlie's grin faded quickly. "It must be hard, raising her by yourself."

"It's been hard, but she's a good kid," I said, my eyes on Stinky, "she doesn't complain much and she's a wonderful listener." I added the last to lighten the talk up. No need to concentrate on death.

"She sure is a pretty girl." Charlie's smile returned. I joined him. She was certainly the best looking baby I had ever seen.

"Got her looks from her mother," I added.

"Hopefully, all girls do," Charlie joked. We shared a small chuckle. Bonding complete.

"You live in Winslow?" I asked.

"Nope, I live in Albuquerque," Charlie replied, his posture more relaxed, "my brother is moving to Flagstaff. Following his new wife who has a better job than he does." He pointed down the road. "I took a wrong turn and found myself on this long cut." I smiled as if it could happen to anyone. I was more than pleased he didn't know the locals. It would make things easier for the both of us.

Stinky started, her arms jerking as she woke. Her eyes found mine and she smiled. She trusted me. I wasn't sure I was worthy of the trust. My words to Charlie were bold faced lies. I lied as much as I told the truth in my life. I did the only thing I could do in midst of such faith. I tickled her toes and smiled back. Her temperature seemed to have returned to normal.

"She sure loves you," Charlie stated, his eyes moving between the road and Stinky. The thought was entirely too pleasant. Love does not manifest in the space of a few hours. I hadn't felt it since I was a child. Love was for other people. She merely trusts me. Normally I would think the trusting person a fool. In this case, her trust was not unfounded.

We had driven for 15 minutes before Charlie's turned onto a real road with other cars and his phone dinged. I pulled mine out and saw two bars. I made a show of sliding my finger and pushing the screen and then sighed loudly as I turned it off.

"Out of juice," I lied, waving my phone in disgust.

"Here, use mine," Charlie offered. I thanked him and dialed 911. Much better that it be his phone. I had no idea who might want Stinky. There was no reason to leave a trail of breadcrumbs for them. I would have avoided the phone call altogether if the lady wasn't lying dead in the desert. She deserved more than to be forgotten.

"I need to report an accident," I said once the operator answered. I went through an explanation that Charlie wouldn't discount. I explained the reason I had to leave the scene and the unfortunate death. I had some trouble explaining its location. There weren't many landmarks, and the turnoffs were unmarked, most likely very long driveways. Between Charlie and I, they had enough information to find the spot. I promised I would go directly to the police station in Winslow as soon as my daughter was taken care of. I trusted them to care of the lady's remains. Their trust in me was unfounded.