Days of Darkness

Chapter 23

You see us as a family?" She hadn't heard the rest of what I said.

"Teegan sure thinks so," I replied.

"What do you think?" Natalie continued. Her eyes were impatient, almost pleading.

"It scares the hell out of me," I admitted, "how can you love a guy like me and throw away everything you've built? Yes, I see you both as my family, and I don't want it to end." Natalie leaned into me, over Teegan sitting in my lap. Her lips were so soft, driving passion into mine. The kiss held a promise that I returned in kind. My doubts faded into the background, almost too small to recognize.

"Don't try to figure it out," Natalie whispered, "somethings just are." The second kiss was as deep as the first, this time, driven by me. It was Teegan who broke us up, grunting and laughing thinking it all a game. I put her down on the floor and let her explore. Natalie and I followed Teegan as she crawled. Natalie leaned into me, holding me close and smiling every time I looked at her. I stopped thinking and just enjoyed our family time.

"We should bring your mother up here," I said to Natalie over dinner. Leaving Rose alone was still painful. I could see a weight enter Natalie's eyes at the mention of it. I knew she felt the same.

"She won't come," Natalie responded, "she's sure the last days would ruin my image of her." She pushed some rice around with her fork, "I argued, but you met her. You can't win an argument if her mind is set."

"Maybe we shouldn't argue," I continued, "maybe we should demand." I reached out and took Natalie's hand in mine, "the thought of her being alone eats at me."

"Demand?" Natalie smiled as she said it, "I remember demanding an increase in my allowance once. The lecture on greed was never ending. I've only offered suggestions since then."

"She is ever the teacher," I agreed. I thought deeply for a moment as Natalie softly caressed my hand. "We can guilt her into it," I offered.

"Trick my mother?" Natalie asked with surprise.

"A little white lie," I clarified, "tell her Teegan needs her." My other arm was holding onto Teegan, keeping her greedy little paws out of reach from my food. She had just eaten but acted like she was starving.

"She'll figure it out."

"Yes. Probably," I added, "but then she would be here." Natalie looked away from me, thinking. "Look, I don't know why I like her, but I do. Maybe it was Teegan, maybe not. The idea that she spends her last moments with only doctors and nurses...well it bothers me."

"She will be angry," Natalie argued.

"Teegan can change that," I pointed out, "and you can blame it on me." Natalie gave me her devious smile. The kind I expected when someone was going to let me make an i***t of myself.

"This is a beautiful place, " Natalie said, "cozy with a nice fire and excellent people."

"She should spend her last days with her family, not strangers." It hurt to say it, but it was the truth.

"Are you adopting her as well?"

"She adopted me," I replied, bouncing Teegan lightly on my knee. For a second, she gave up trying to grab my food and enjoyed my attention. "Do you think we could get Internet out here?"

"Wireless, maybe," Natalie replied, "why?"

"I was thinking," I answered, "I could take some online courses, you know, maybe get a degree or something." I was looking at Teegan; afraid Natalie might think me petty trying to up my game to match her. In a sense, I was, but it was only because I wanted to feel more worthy of her.

"I see," Natalie said, nodding her head, "my mother would never pass up a chance to tutor. She would love to help." I looked up at Natalie. "and so would I," she added with a smile formed for my eyes. I think she sensed my need to try and even our intellects.

"I want to improve," I clarified, "for you and Teegan."

"And you wonder why I love you," Natalie responded. I loved how she looked at me. It was like I was the only one in the world. I would never deserve that look, but I would be damned if I wasn't going to try.

Natalie spent a long time on the phone trying to convince her mother to join us. Rose saw through all our ploys almost immediately. It was my desire to seek an education that finally convinced her to come. Teaching was in her blood and overrode her ridiculous objections. Teegan's family was complete.

Our nights alone in front of the fire were going to disappear when Rose arrived, so I decided to make the most of the two we had left. While Natalie put Teegan down for the night, I broke open a bottle of wine, started some soft music and added a few logs to the fire. With the lights off, it was as romantic as I had ever seen in any movie. I smiled at how my life had changed. Romance used to be a burger and a trip to the neighborhood bar. Now I was concerned with the ambiance of a cabin. I wanted to set a mood that reflected how I felt. Something soft and passionate, like Natalie herself.

"Well, this is nice," Natalie said from behind me. I turned to find her standing in nothing but a t-shirt. Her smile convincing me that the t-shirt was all she had on. I stalled the l**t that was filling my mind, wanting this night to move more slowly. The way she walked toward me with her hips swaying slightly fought with my planning.

"I opened some wine," I said, pointing to bottle on the table as I watched Natalie move. I wondered if sexy was taught in law school. She would have scored high marks with the way she moved.

"I see that," Natalie said, not slowing as she rounded the couch with sensual confidence. I was losing control of the mood. I wasn't even sure I wanted control anymore.

"I thought..." I stammered, "your mother is coming...and, well, we won't have nights like this often."

"It's lovely," Natalie whispered as her hand wrapped around the back of my neck. My plans collapsed when her fingers sent a jolt down my spine when they combed into my hair. My blood heated, and my pants were suddenly too tight. I pulled her luxurious lips to mine and jumped right past tenderness, into pure passion. Her body collapsed into me, seemingly trying to melt into my skin. It was hard to breathe as the sensations began to course through me. So much love mixed with unbridled desire.

Natalie's hands dropped to my belt, fumbling with the clasp. "Neither of us should wear the pants in this family," she giggled. I laughed, as the double entendre tickled my mind. I almost fell as she stripped me of my pants. More laughter ensued as we clumsily removed the rest of each other's clothing. It's always so smooth in the movies, no hair getting stuck or t-shirts refusing to cooperate with the desired speed. The humor of it only enhanced our need.

Natalie's smile was so loving as I entered her that I slowed to enjoy it. We searched each other's eyes, memorizing the love we found there. A tear formed in the corner of her eye, so lonely and out of place. I moved forward and softly kissed it away.

"Love me more," Natalie breathed. I did. Everything I had, I gave to her. My forehead lay on hers as our bodies moved in beautiful unison. Even our breathing synchronized as our eyes stayed locked with each other's. Each down stroke brought bliss; each withdrawal came with it a longing to return. Time passed so wonderfully slow. When her eyes finally closed and her softness went rigid, I covered her lips with mine and lost myself with her.

"That was...intense," I whispered between breaths.

"It was wonderful," Natalie returned, her arms still holding me tight to her. I lifted my head up, worried I was laying too heavily. "It was perfect," she said with her disarming smile. I took in her face for a moment and knew without a doubt, without the help of Teegan, that she loved me as much as I loved her. I was flabbergasted.

"Why do you love me so much?" I asked. Her laugh was warming. It held no admonishment, no threat to my intelligence.

"How could I not?" Natalie replied softly. Her hands held my head, not letting me look away. "A girl can go a lifetime and never know what's in a man's head. I know what's in yours, I've seen your love for me, Teegan, and my mother. I know that you worry about your past, thinking you don't measure up. Well, I use a different measurement, and it has nothing to do with college degrees or wealth. It's the man you are and the man you want to be that I love. The man who will change a diaper without a thought and demand my mother is not alone. I know how you see me...and I've never felt so beautiful."

"What if Teegan gave me all that?" I whispered my fear.

"I think Teegan awoke that in you," Natalie said, her smile spreading, "she allowed me to follow my dreams as well." She squeezed me inside of her, making me smile as I involuntarily jerked in return. She was playing with me, making me lighten up. Her legs wrapped around me and pulled me closer as if that was possible. "I love where I am and who I'm with."

We spent half the night in front to the fire. When a chill filled the room as the last embers gave up the fight, we ran n***d into our bedroom and warmed each other under the copious covers. There was no doubt of Natalie's love, and I made sure she knew she needn't doubt mine. Still, there was the fear in the back of my mind that it was all a fabrication of a young girl who was 50,000 years of evolution ahead of us.