Let me breathe

Chapter two

The next weekend, during family time which came through only once in a blue moon, we all sat in the garden cultivated by mum but managed by the gardener. Kabir and I were playing chess the only game allowed of us by dad because according to him the rest were wastes of time while chess helps to improve reasoning. Mum was watching us play while father was reading a newspaper although occasionally he would look at the game we were playing.

Mariam came running from inside the house with father's phone in hand, the look on her face clearly screamed that it was important. The top of father's fore head creased in a frown as she handed the phone to him, he put it to his ear and nodded as he listened to the speaker, after a considerable amount of time he gestured for Mariam to get it. "It was Ummu Faruq, Faridat has been rushed to the hospital she is said to be in labour".

Worry took over mum's face and she immediately volunteers to go over to greet them but father refuses in his words there is no valid reason why she should go. In my mind father was right it is just another birth anyways what is the essence of going there.

I am actually excited for eid kabir, it is coming up in a few and I am over the moon about it. I am most excited for the new abaya and barqa mum is getting me the shop owner always brings it along a day or two before the festival. Father likes to kill a cow and a few rams for the celebration. We will leave for mosque early in the morning and we are not allowed to leave before the imam kills his own ram, then we head back to the house with father in his car while we ride in another right behind his.

When we get home the house will be swimming with various members of our families, the women going in and out of the kitchen, children playing around and the men of the house hanging around the place where the animals will be killed. Sometimes, I feel like our house is the family house with the number of people that visit for eid. Father always gives out raw meat to the people in the neighborhood and also some less privileged.

Ohh! How excited I am for the eid celebrations this year, maybe it is because I am happy about mum's pregnancy I can't seem to point a finger on the reason for my happiness though.

After a while father clears his throat and announces that it is time to go to the mosque for Jummuah prayer. He heads inside and follow suite almost like we were hot on his pursuit. I went straight to my room grab my barqa and rosary bead after putting my barqa on I sit and wait for mum to knock on my door for us to leave the house. "Zaytunah, it's time to leave!" she says in her usual gentle voice from outside the door, I stood up immediately and head out.

Father was downstairs already waiting in his car, sometimes I tend to wonder why we take different cars to the mosque which just a stone throw distance from the the house. I take my seat right beside the window and start staring outside like I always do. The trip to the mosque is as quiet as usual although mum was reciting some du'a quietly almost in a whisper.

After Jummah service it is a tradition to visit the chief imam at his house which is right next to the mosque. Mum rushed over to dad to tell him "I think I might need to stay in the car this time I am feeling a little nauseous" she leans against the benz as she speaks. Father raised his face and glared at her, I felt a lump in my throat and waited anxiously for what seemed like hours to me.

"Do you think it is appropriate to stay back while we go in?" He asked in a coolly manner. Mum dropped her head and stared at her barely and managed to say in a whisper "I feel like I might vomit any moment so, I am not sure if it is appropriate to go in." Father raised his voice a tone higher "are you sure?"

Looking up mum stuttered "I-I can manage, I will come with you, it's not that bad anyways". He still looked calm but he said nothing but only turned and walked towards the gate of the imam's house. He pressed the door bell and soon enough we were ushered in by the butler.

The house looked huge and somewhat desolate as always, with the exaggerated high ceilings it looks and feels more like a building than a home, I know it is wrong to judge but I really can't help but notice these things. We are assisted into the living room as though we are unfamiliar with the house.

" Brother Kamaldeen and his family! Asalamu alaykum." He said with a fake like smile plastered on his aging face. On the table were platters of snacks and a tray of tea and tea cups. After taking our seats, he asked us to help ourselves to the snacks but, father politely declined on our behalf.

"Sister Ziqroh, I hope you are doing well?" he asked mum. "you look a little tired." She could not manage to reply with words but, she nodded her head and smiled as brightly as she could. "Zaytunah and Kabir you are looking rather radiant today." After a while we bade goodbye to him and left for the house.

Upon getting home father's tea was ready and placed on the dining table, we all waited for him to sit and pour the tea. He asks Kabir and I to have our sit and take a cup each which we did. After tea we went straight up to have a change of clothes. Mum followed me to my room to plait my hair but, as she made to speak she runs to the bathroom to vomit.

We had lunch shortly afterwards and then Kabir and I retired back to our various rooms to study. I knew that I would be hearing the loud thuds again today so I braced myself , I took the Quran on my study table and started to read as loudly as I could, I am not allowed to feel bad father is just trying to make her understand that visiting the imam is essential. I continued reading as loudly as I could till I heard nothing, minutes later I heard the honking if the car and the gates were jammed open. I could only rush to my window to check, that was when I saw father carrying mum in his hands and rushing her out. I could see that as he moved trails of her blood was following right behind. Kabir swung the doors to my room open " He hit her again I am scared she might not survive it!" I could not hold my tears back at the thought of losing mum

Kabir stayed in my room and pacified me till I fell asleep, late into the night after dinner father came home and told us that mum will be resting at the hospital for a few days. What a relief!