FOREVER US

Chapter 15 Ethan in Thoughts

Despite the whirlwind of doctor visits, homework assignments, and preparing for the baby, Ethan was never far from Lily’s mind. No matter how hard she tried to focus on the present, memories of him seemed to slip into her thoughts when she least expected them. Sometimes it happened when she passed a familiar hallway at school. Other times it came when she heard a song they used to listen to together.

Ethan had once been the center of her world.

She remembered the way he used to meet her between classes, leaning casually against the lockers with that crooked smile that always made her heart skip. He would reach for her hand without hesitation, their fingers intertwining as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Back then, everything had felt simple.

They had shared quiet moments under the bleachers after football games, whispering dreams about the future. Ethan would talk about joining the military, about traveling to places he had only seen on maps, about becoming someone strong and dependable. Lily would listen, her head resting on his shoulder, believing that somehow their futures would always stay connected.

And then there were the little moments she cherished most—the late-night ice cream runs when they laughed until their stomachs hurt, the long walks home after school, and the way he would look at her across the classroom when the teacher wasn’t paying attention.

In those moments, the world had felt endless.

Now he was miles away, serving in the military, living a completely different life.

And he had no idea that a new life was growing inside her.

The thought filled Lily with a complicated storm of emotions. Anger and hurt tangled together with longing in ways she couldn’t easily separate.

How could he leave without a word?

How could he disappear so completely from her life?

Some nights she lay awake staring at the ceiling, replaying their last conversations in her mind, searching for clues she might have missed. Had there been a moment when things changed? Had he planned to leave all along?

Part of her felt furious.

Another part of her simply missed him.

Sometimes she imagined running into him unexpectedly one day. In her mind, the scene played out over and over again in different ways. She would see him standing there, older somehow but still familiar, and she would run toward him before she could stop herself.

She imagined throwing her arms around him, demanding answers.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?” she would ask.

Then she imagined the moment when she would reveal the truth—that he was going to be a father. She pictured the shock on his face, the confusion, the flood of realization.

But not all of her imagined endings were hopeful.

Sometimes her mind wandered down darker paths. In those versions, Ethan looked at her with distant eyes, as if the life they once shared meant nothing anymore. He would shrug, say he had moved on, say that things were different now.

Those thoughts twisted painfully inside her chest.

She didn’t know which version of Ethan was real anymore—the boy she loved or the stranger who had vanished from her life.

Still, the memories remained.

She remembered the warmth of his hand in hers, the way he laughed when she told a terrible joke, and the quiet sincerity in his voice when he once told her she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Those memories refused to fade.

They lived in the small corners of her heart, bringing both comfort and sadness.

Often, Lily found herself walking past the places where they used to spend time together. The park bench where they had shared their first long conversation. The corner store where they used to buy snacks after school. The field behind the gym where they had watched the sunset together one evening.

Each place held echoes of a past that now felt impossibly far away.

Sometimes she would stop for a moment, letting the memories wash over her. Tears would gather in her eyes before she quickly wiped them away, hoping no one nearby noticed.

She knew she couldn’t live in the past.

There was too much at stake now.

The baby growing inside her needed strength, stability, and love. She couldn’t allow herself to crumble under the weight of what might have been.

But every night, when the house grew quiet and the world slowed down, Lily allowed herself a few moments to remember him.

She would sit by her bedroom window, the soft glow of the moon casting pale light across the room, and think about the boy who had once made her feel fearless.

The boy who had changed her life forever.

Sometimes she rested a hand gently on her stomach as she spoke softly to the baby.

“You would’ve liked him,” she whispered once, her voice barely louder than the wind outside. “He had the best laugh.”

A bittersweet ache filled her chest, but it no longer felt quite as sharp as it once had.

Because even though Ethan was gone, the love she had once felt hadn’t disappeared completely.

It had simply transformed.

Now it lived quietly in her memories, reminding her of the girl she used to be—and the strength she had found in becoming someone new.

Someone who was learning, day by day, how to move forward.