The Chocolate Boy

Chapter 5 - Nut Cracker?

I wanted to wake up. I knew I had been sleeping as soon as I started seeing images of my father and his hands closing in on my throat. It was another one of my torturous nightmares.

But the worst part is when my subconscious mind is disrupted by the conscious one in a weak attempt to wake up. That's when the struggle starts.

I thrashed around on the bed. At least I thought I did when actually I wasn't even stirring a bit. I tried to shout but they sounded like muffled whimpers. Again, those sounds were all in my head. I'd have looked like a dead log had there been anybody else to see me at such times.

Breathless, suffocated, anxious. That's how I feel everytime this happens.

At last I managed to open my eyelids. Immediately I sat up on my bed in a hot and sweaty mess with my heartbeat rates going up as if I'd just been running in the upcoming Rio Olympics. The nauseous feeling subsided a bit as I threw open the windows in my room and prepared to spend another sleepless night.

***

"Tuhin, I'm sorry about yesterday," Ishan said as I slid into my seat.

"Yeah, it's okay."

An awkward silence stretched between us.

My head was throbbing painfully after getting no sleep last night. I rested it on my right arm propped up on the table and made a weak attempt to rub away the pain with my left.

"I want to talk about yesterday."

"No thanks. I don't want to listen," I had to bite back my tongue to stop myself from making any more rude comments.

"Feeling sick?"

"Isn't that fairly understandable?" I snapped.

"Want to go to the infirmary?" he asked keeping a hand on my shoulder. I tensed at once.

"It'll be great if you'll just shut up and leave me alone," I looked pointedly at his hand.

Control. Why can't I control my phobia for a f*****g second?

He followed my gaze and moved his hand as if he'd got an electric shock.

"I'm sorry. I'll just be on my way," he looked ashamed and hurried away.

My tiredness got better of me in the fourth period as I watched the Economics teacher walk in. The next thing I knew was Ishan shaking me gently, asking me to wake up.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have Chemistry?"

"My God!" Ishan had an amused look on his face. "Don't tell me you slept through Deepak Sir's class?"

"Dammit! I did," I felt the corners of my lips curl up. "And yeah before you ask it, I feel better now," I said as his mouth opened again threateningly.

"You are such a quiet guy," he said with some creases on the forehead.

"Silence is music to my ears."

"Sure."

"Tell me about it."

"What? "

"About yesterday. Tell me about yesterday. I can listen now."

Ishan looked at me in the same way Tuhina looks at me when I catch her doing something Ma wouldn't like to know.

"Okay, but I'm warning you, this is going to be awkward."

I nodded, waiting for him to proceed.

"So you wanted to know why nobody sits beside me."

"Mm-hm."

A sudden smile broke out on his face.

"I'm actually glad that I have someone to sit beside me and be my friend. I'm loving the fact that I'm making new friends, even though the number is a single digit."

My eyes widened. "You mean you never had anyone to sit beside you in class?"

"Nah, nobody in these freaking 16 years. But I'll be 17 soon enough. So let's say, nobody in these freaking 17 years. But you don't get admitted to school before you're at least a year and a half old, do you? So that comes to 15 and a half -"

"Stop doing Maths when you are not good at it," I deadpanned.

"But I have to work out sums in Chemistry and sometimes in other subjects too! I hate numbers!"

I deadpanned again. Yeah sure, deadpan was my BFF.

"But you are friendly, unlike me. Why wouldn't anyone sit beside you?"

"Think Sherlock," he said, relishing his chocolate croissant and offering me the other end of it.

I waved him off. "I'm not Sherlock Holmes. I don't get it. My life would have been a hell lot easier if this seat was taken before we came in yesterday. "

"Oh you just didn't say that!"

"Oh I just did!" I said, mocking him.

He snickered. "Believe me when I say that this seat was taken numerous times and each and every one of them went away when I said three special words," he laughed but I could see the sadness in his eyes.

He had big beautiful brown eyes.

Stop it Tuhin, you shouldn't think like that.

" - I'd given up hope but then you guys turned up, I felt like jumping up and down on my seat. One of you had to sit beside me."

"What were the special three words you told the others?"

"Guess it."

"I hate you?"

"Nada, I'm friendly."

"I love you?"

A mischievous smirk flashed on his face.

"I am gay."

Oh s**t! What did I say just now?

"You just said you love me," he seemed to have read my mind.

"No - I - I ... I just -" I began to stutter.

He laughed at me. In that split of a second, I felt vulnerable, something that I haven't felt in the last 7 years.

But I again braced myself and regained my cold composure. I couldn't let him get into my private space like this. I was better than this.

"You're really gay?" I asked once I found my voice.

"Gay can also mean happy," his smirk didn't disappear.

Okay, he had a way with words. That was good.

"But yeah, I'm happy to be gay," he added.

What? No s**t!

"Hey relax, I know you didn't mean it."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I thought you weren't that dumb. Plus you didn't have any other place to go. I thought it could wait."

"And what does it have to do with Shivam and Riyaaz?"

A grim expression clouded his face.

"It was last year. I had somehow befriended them. We used to hang out together after school, share jokes and did all normal stuff that friends do. But they didn't know about me being gay. I came out to them later that year and as I really liked Riyaaz, I asked him out. What I didn't know was that they were real homophobic dickheads. They used to beat me up almost every other day and I came back home with cuts and bruises all over."

"Didn't your parents do anything?"

"No. They wanted me to stand up for myself and deal with my shit."

I kept quiet and let that sink in. A surge of anger against Shivam and Riyaaz shot up to my head. I gritted my teeth to vent out my anger.

Needless to say, it was of no use. It seemed totally rational to punch their faces until they smashed open.

"You hate me now," his voice was weak and sad, like yesterday.

"Who told you that? I hate your "friends"," I said making quotes in the air.

"So will you still be my friend?"

"Believe it or not, you're the first friend I've ever had besides my sister."

Merry Christmas, fellas!! Ho Ho Ho!! Santa's in the town!! Got a large bar of Cadbury Silk from him. *becomes Ishan and looks at it like it's her baby*

Aww my Silk...yum! Don't be jealous guys, you'll get your gifts too!! Merry Christmas again!

Sorry for the late update....I'd been grounded..I'm still grounded..but I got Christmas perks..so here I am with Tuhin and Ishan's story. Enjoy!