Contract marriage with my professor

CHAPTER NINE

It wasn’t that bad…..the encounter she had dreaded, it wasn’t that bad.

She tried to get comfort from thinking the encounter wasn’t that bad, however, deep down she knew that it was just as bad as she had expected it to be, back there, in his office; she had almost fallen flat of a heart attack, she had almost lost her mind just as she had lost her voice. She wasn’t sure if it was his voice, his deep and cold voice, the manner in which he spoke; bold and commanding. Or perhaps it was his eyes, their sharp dept, the way hey would darken when he was irritated, she wasn’t sure.

Perhaps if he hadn’t been so domineering she wouldn’t be so…….

Was she scared of him? Was it the man that scared her or was it the fact that she could wake up one day to find herself being dominated by an older man; her professor. Whatever it was, Catherine knew that she couldn’t get over it anytime soon, she wasn’t sure if she ever would, somewhere deep down she knew that she was scarred for life.

On getting to the dormitory section, she had decided to stop by at Tessa’s instead of going straight to her room. Knowing Tessa, she knew that she wouldn’t attend classes today because she had spent the night before partying, she had seen her skip classes on several occasions, thus, she was sure she would be in.

She knocked on Tessa’s door subtly, for all she knew she was still asleep, but to her surprise she heard Tessa’s voice answer gruffly from inside.

“Coming”.

She simply nodded though she couldn’t see her.

Quiet shuffling of padded feet against carpeted floors sounded from inside before the clicking of locks sounded and the door opened slowly, revealing a puffy faced Tessa with messy hair and red eyes. A small smirk curved her lips as she locked eyes with her, raising an eyebrow she said;

“I’ll be damned. You went to class?”.

Catherine nodded.

“And you didn’t, apparently”. She said dryly.

“It’s college Cat, Tessa said as she stepped aside and gestured for her to come in. “Here I was thinking the party would do you some good, you still look like you’ve been crying”.

Catherine made her way into the room which was very much like her own; small and tacky, though tey weren’t the best of friends she felt strangely comfortable, perhaps wearing her dress and going to a party with her had aided. She walked to the small bed and let her small frame collapse on it.

“It’s what, 10am?”. Tessa asked as she rubbed her eyes sleepily.

Catherine rolled her eyes.

“it’s noon”. She answered.

“Still too early to be crying”. Tessa said as she made her way into the adjoining bathroom.

Catherine simply lay there as Tessa tended to her business, her mind drifting back to earlier today, how she had bumped into him, how strong and firm his chest had felt…… She cleared her throat quietly as her heat began beating faster, she realized she was conjuring troubled thoughts.

“You seemed to be having fun yesterday, I almost thought I had changed you for the better”. Tessa said as she stepped out of the bathroom, she shrugged. “Or worse”.

She had fun yesterday, yes. She had for a moment forgotten how shitty her life had become, forgotten the risk she was living in, forgotten what her life` had come to, but the party was over now, and everything was all too clear, the weight of it all came wearing down on her heavily.

“Thanks for the dress”. She said after letting out a heavy sigh. “Thanks for everything else. I return your dress once I wash it”.

Tessa shook her head.

“Naah, keep it, it looks better on you”. She said as she walked to a chair by the corner and slumped into it. “so, what’s up?”.

Again Catherine sighed.

What wasn’t? Everything was wrong, so damn wrong.

“How do you do it?”. She asked Tessa who arched a brow questioning in response. “How do you simply live your life like nothing at all is wrong?”.

Tessa shrugged.

“Worrying never got anyone anywhere, it sure as hell won’t get me anywhere, with that in mind I live my life unhinged”. She said. “My mum, she worried a lot, it consumed her, she wasn’t so old but she was all greyed, I watched her beauty wither away right before she passed, I promised never to be like her”.

“I’m sorry”. Catherine said quietly.

Tessa hadn’t struck her as a girl with any problems at all, she just seemed so…. Free.

“It’s been years, I’d like to think I’ve made peace with it”. Tessa said. “I’d advise you start making peace with your demons too”.

If only it were that easy……

If only she didn’t have to walk around feeling bad that she had taken off her wedding band, if only she didn’t have to know she was married to her professor who was what, 10 years older than she was? If only she didn’t have to walk around knowing her life was messed up through and through.

“It’s…..not that easy”. She said quietly.

Tessa tsked.

“It wasn’t easy for me at first, you know how I got through it?”. She asked.

Catherine shook her head, though she could have guessed parties were involved.

“I let my spirit guide me, I let it lead me”. She said.

“And it lead you to?”.

Tessa snickered.

“Party after party, I made friends, I met people, and I felt free”. She said.

Catherine turned to face her fully. She just couldn’t understand the girl.

“What about studying? What about your GPA? What about the future? What happens when you graduate?”. She asked her.

Again Tessa Shrugged.

“We’ll just have to find out when that time comes”. She said. “Now let’s talk girl talk b***h! You were totally making out with Cameron Hart!”.

Catherine felt her cheeks flame. Indeed the beer she had consumed had made her a little bolder than usual, she’d never have imagined herself at a frat party dancing and letting some random guy feel her up like she was some takeout w***e. Once again she cleared her throat quietly, the situation becoming irrefutably awkward.

“Who would have thought huh?!”. Tessa went on.

“We weren’t making out”. She argued quietly. “We were just…..dancing”.

“f**k that! His hands were practically kneading all your curves and edges, your dance could have required PG”. Tessa grinned. “My eyes almost popped out!”.

Catherine tried not to think too much about the whole thing, it was a one-time thing, something she would never do again.

“What’s the big deal? A lot of people were dancing like that”. She said.

“Yeah, but not with Cameron Hart!”.

“Because it was his party?”. She asked.

“Are you kidding me right now? You really don’t know Cameron Hart?”. Tessa said.

“I guess we have Phil. 301 together”. Catherine explained, it was all she knew. She did guess Cam was sort of a big shot in the whole frat thing.

“Cameron Hart has got to be the hottest guy in the world, and he’s like super rich, I wouldn’t be shocked if his family owns half of this shitty town”. Tessa said almost dreamily. “I love him, every girl on campus loves him!”.

“I don’t”.

“Piss off!”. Tessa waved her comment away like it smelt bad. “You may be weird and all but you totally can’t deny that you are not attracted to Cameron, tell me you didn’t want to have at it with him and I’ll know you’re a true freak”.

The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind, she hadn’t intended on getting screwed by some frat dude, especially since it would be her first time and, she kept hat part to herself though, Tessa didn’t have to know, it was her business.

“Freaky me, I guess.”. She said as she fell back against the bed again, her red hair spreading around her head like beautiful orange flames burning bright

“But I have to commend you, dancing with him like that, it took guts”. Tessa said.

“How so?”.

For heaven’s sake! It was just dancing.

“Camilla Of course, the b***h is a nightmare”. Tessa explained. “She does whatever she likes and gets away with it cause her mum’s f*****g one of the members of the board”.

Catherine turned to face her again. Depressed or not, she knew a nice gossip when she heard one. Tessa smirked on seeing that she had peeked her interest.

“Some say she’s doing the f*****g herself, but that doesn’t make any sense since she’s so possessive of Cameron, she’s as clingy as a bubblegum”.

Ha! She knew then that she hadn’t imagined the bitter look Camilla had thrown at her yesterday, she wasn’t sure why but she suddenly felt very interested in spiting her.

“And what does Cam have to say about the rumors?”. She asked.

Tessa shrugged once more.

“Who the bloody hell knows?”.