Summer’s First Kiss

2)

I laid there for a while, just letting the ceiling fan spin above me, humming its same lazy rhythm I’d heard every summer since I was ten. The sounds of the guys outside drifted through the open window—shouts, laughter, the c***k of a can being opened, someone cursing dramatically at a missed cornhole shot. I should’ve gone down. But I didn’t.

Instead, I stayed there, tangled in memories. This room had seen every version of me. Awkward braces Shelly. Homesick Shelly. Clingy little-sister Shelly. And now… whatever this version of me was.

After a while, I peeled myself off the bed and went to unpack. One of the swimsuits Maggy bought me was this red two-piece I never would’ve picked for myself. It looked like something she’d wear—bold and effortless. But when I held it up to my body in the mirror, I didn’t hate it. Not entirely.

I was still staring at myself when I heard the knock.

“Yo, Shelly Belly,” Luke’s voice called through the door, his usual mix of teasing and familiarity. “You hiding or what? We’re about to do a fire pit—Max is trying to set it up and it’s looking real sketchy.”

I hesitated. Then opened the door.

He leaned against the frame, arms crossed, hair messy in that way boys somehow made look intentional. “There she is. You good?”

I nodded. “Yeah, just… tired.”

He studied me for a second, like he could tell I was lying, but didn’t feel like pushing. “Well, come on. Don’t make me hang out with these idiots alone.”

Downstairs, the beach house was alive again. Music floated from the portable speaker someone dragged out to the back deck, and the smell of burning marshmallows and salty air filled the space. Someone handed me a s’more, half-melted and already falling apart.

We sat in mismatched lawn chairs, feet buried in the sand, flames flickering in the fire pit while the ocean whispered in the distance.

Charlie was retelling the story of the time Max got stung by a jellyfish and tried to pee on his own leg—“it’s basic first aid, bro!”—and everyone was howling with laughter.

And for a moment, I forgot about Maggy. I forgot about how weird the guys looked at me. I forgot about school starting soon and everything I wasn’t sure about.

I just felt there.

Then Ryan sat next to me. Not close enough to touch, but closer than I expected. He handed me a fresh White Claw without a word. I took it, quietly. Our fingers didn’t brush, but it felt like they could have.

“You look different,” he said, softly, after a while.

I didn’t answer right away. “Is that a good thing?”

He looked over at me, smiling in that lopsided, nerdy way I used to think about way too much when I was thirteen. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

The fire crackled. The sky above us was clear, stars scattered like salt across black velvet. And just like that, I knew this summer really wasn’t going to be like the others.

It had already started changing everything.

After the fire burned down and the s’mores ran out, someone suggested a night swim.

Of course they did.

“Midnight dip, baby!” Charlie shouted, already halfway to the dunes, stripping his shirt off like we were in a movie and not just a bunch of sweaty kids with sand in our shoes.

I hesitated. The wind was cooler now, and the thought of being in a swimsuit in front of everyone made my stomach twist. But before I could come up with an excuse, Luke was at my side again.

“Don’t make me drag you, Shelly.”

“You couldn’t,” I said, lifting a brow.

“Oh, is that a challenge?” he smirked.

And then he picked me up—just enough to make me shriek and start kicking—and I smacked his shoulder until he set me down, laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world.

“I hate you,” I muttered, but I didn’t mean it. Not even a little.

We all sprinted down the boardwalk, voices echoing into the night, waves crashing louder as we got closer. The moon was full and silver, slicing a glitter path down the ocean. I changed quickly behind one of the dunes, throwing on one of the swimsuits Maggy had given me—the red one. Bold and effortless. Right?

I wrapped a towel around my waist and stepped out.

Luke was already in the water, hair soaked, shouting something dumb back at Max. Ryan stood near the edge, where the waves licked at his ankles, looking out like he was waiting for something—or someone.

I didn’t move at first.

Then he turned, saw me, and smiled.

“Didn’t think you’d actually come.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. You’re different this summer. Thought maybe you’d grown out of the crazy beach kid stuff.”

“Maybe I just got better at hiding it.”

He laughed at that, a real laugh, then walked toward me. Close. Close enough that I caught that familiar smell—like sunscreen and firewood and salt.

“You look good, by the way,” he said, almost shyly. “I mean, not that you didn’t before. Just—” he rubbed the back of his neck—“you know what I mean.”

I nodded. “Thanks.”

Before I could say anything else, a huge splash erupted from the ocean, followed by shouting and cackling—Luke, obviously. I turned just in time to see him waving me in.

“Shelly! Last one in’s a jellyfish victim!”

I looked back at Ryan.

“Go,” he said. “I’ll be right behind you.”

So I ran.

The water was freezing at first, sharp and wild against my skin, but I didn’t care. We screamed and laughed and dunked each other under the surface, the moon turning everything silver and surreal. For a second, it felt like time didn’t exist. We were just floating in this bubble of summer where nothing could touch us—not school, not parents, not anything real.

Eventually, I found myself beside Luke, the waves tugging at both of us.

He looked over, water dripping from his lashes, his expression suddenly unreadable.

“You’re really not a kid anymore, huh?”

I blinked. “Were you under the impression I ever was?”

He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Nah. I guess I just wasn’t paying attention.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. So I looked away, back toward the shore. Ryan was there now, walking slowly out of the water, running a hand through his wet hair.

Something shifted in my chest. Not good or bad. Just… different.

Everything was changing. I could feel it in my bones.

And for the first time, I wasn’t sure if I was ready.