What The Hell Happened?

8

Steam filled the kitchen as Nadia took the two pizzas out of the oven. I couldn't help admire the way she bent and hefted the hot plates out onto the table.

Digging my teeth into my bottom lip, I said. "That looks really good."

"Wait till you taste it."

"You seem pretty confident in your cooking skills."

"I wouldn't say so myself. Pizza is hard to f**k up. Like s*x, you know?"

"As a nursing student, I couldn't have expected anything more. You guys hardly have time to plan out a strict diet. Busy and all."

"Yeah. Practicals start in June and I'm so pumped for it. Been anticipating since last year. When last did you have s*x?"

I spluttered, thrown off- balance by her sudden question. "I... I really don't remember."

"That long huh?"

Heat rose to my cheeks. "Yeah. It's going on a year since my breakup. I haven't been or hooked up with anyone apart from him. And I have only been with two men in my life."

"Both at Brooklyn,"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"So I heard you and Gideon arguing earlier. Look, you've got to accept his shitty music as a part of life while living here. His Dad won't be pleased to learn a tenant is giving his precious heir a hard time concerning his source of livelihood."

"That's how things are done here? Complaints aren't looked into?"

She tore off a piece of pie and nibbled on it for a moment before answering. "No."

"That's not fair. Why can't he rent a studio elsewhere?"

She shrugged. "This is his father's house. He can do whatever he wants and we've got no right to complain else we get evicted."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I'm leaving in a few months for further studies. It'd be such a relief not having to wake up in the middle of the night with a pounding headache," I blew on the pizza and took a bite too. "Anyways, let's discuss something better."

"Like how our rents' going up next month?"

My mouth was full. "Are you serious?"

"Actually, I am. Gideon came by a few minutes before you showed up saying the property taxes moved up significantly. He has no choice but to raise it sixty bucks across the board."

"That sucks. Not the kind of information I was hoping for in a while. Do you think he'd let us negotiate?"

She shook her head, laughing. "This isn't a commodity, Ethan. Not negotiable."

We ate on in silence.

"Do you think I'm pathetic?" I suddenly asked.

"Why would you say that?"

"After all my ex did to me, do you think I'm to blame? That I don't deserve him?"

"No. I really don't. Listen, you have every right to be upset by what your ex did to you. The guy said he loved you. He led you to believe in things he couldn't fulfil. He promised you something and he faltered. No one deserves that."

"Did you tell your previous dates before Charles that you love them?"

"No I didn't. And I didn't get them to promise me anything because I felt that deep down, they weren't the kind of men I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The connection was fickle so that's why I had no trouble moving on. You're letting his mistake reflect on you somehow. You didn't do anything wrong but be a caring boyfriend. You deserve someone better."

Her words seemed to lift a heavy weight off my chest. "Thanks, Nadia. You're such a good friend."

"But you need to move on. You need to understand that these things happen. We have no control over them and it's up to you if you want to waste more time living in the past trying to solve an insoluble problem instead of moving on with your life."

Her words were sobering. Of course, I knew I had to move past my issues with Freddie, but that was easier said than done.

"To be honest, I really don't know the best way to do that."

"You need to stop thinking about it. Stop giving it power. You need to get out there. Accommodate distractions. You need a date."

"That's what I mean by I don't know how to do it. I've never dated."

"In middle school, I had a relationship that didn't work out. It was just after I came out publicly as gay. Mac was a fresh breath of air, accepting and an honour roll student but over time he became overbearing. I had to cut him off and stayed single till high school where I met Freddie. My best friend and I hated him because he was a bully but when I got to know him better, he was really sweet. We started off pretty nicely and things worked out well until my best friend returned from the hospital with amnesia. Freddie didn't text or call me up as he normally did and when they couldn't hide their relationship anymore, my best friend confessed. That was the worst day of my life because he'd led me to believe he still hated Freddie."

"Wow, that's a pure traitor."

"Literally, I've never dated. And I barely have time for that considering my job."

"Sometimes you need to take a risk. Push yourself around a little. Try online dating. But only meet people in public places. Otherwise, it's dangerous."

"When do we begin?"

"It'll take ten minutes. You need a good picture of yourself to create a profile," She got up. "Let me go get my laptop. We'll do it right now."

"What are you...my pimp?" I laughed.

"No. But you seem clueless like you need guidance. And also it's for your own good, trust me. A few months from now you'd thank me for this." She said as she moved into the inner rooms, retreating with her lappy.

"I guess it couldn't hurt."

"Alright then," She pulled up the site and spoke as she typed. "Your username is Ethan McKenzie and your password is ex-man... since we're doing this to get you over your ex."

"Thanks a lot. That'd be easy to remember."

She continued entering information. "Name...Ethan. Age..." Nadia looked at me for clarification.

"Twenty-one."

"Height?"

"Five foot nine."

"Weight?"

"Is that compulsory? How can they ask such a thing?"

"They do but you don't have to put it down."

"Skip then."

"Boxer size?"

"What?!" I was aghast.

She chuckled. "I'm messing with ya."

I smiled. "Silly."

Nadia continued entering my information. "Hair...blonde. Eyes... grey. Okay, now they're asking personality questions. Hobbies and interests?"

"Reading... and listening to music."

"Anything else?"

"Working at the library. Travelling, sightseeing..."

We continued down the line as I tried to make myself sound as less boring as possible. The last question was a superficial one.

"How would you rate yourself on a scale of physical attractiveness?"

"What? I can't rate myself."

"How about a ten?"

"Ten?"

"Yeah. You're truly stunning, I could have dated you if you weren't gay. But here's the thing...if you don't think you're a ten, you should still put it down, because that shows you're confident. In your case, you really are a ten."

"Thank you." I whispered with heated cheeks.

"Okay, your profile is done. We just need to upload a picture. Got one in your phone you wanna use?"

I sifted through the photos, and to my behest, I hadn't taken one good picture of myself in the past ten months. All of the stunning shots where I was smiling or laughing, were with Freddie.

"How about this one? But he's in it." I said, handing her the phone.

"Is that him?"

"Yeah."

"He does look delicious," She scratched her chin as she examined the photo then said. "I'll crop him out."

"Yeah, it's easy," She started messing around with it. "Here. See?" She turned the phone towards me. "You'd never know he was there except for that shade of black. It looks like a sweater over your shoulder."

It gave me a slight fuzziness that Freddie had been reduced to a mere article of clothing.

"What next?"

"You have to figure out how to use it. I'll use my account and we'd pretend to connect, so you can see how it works."

"That's good, so I don't make a fool of myself."

"That very well may still happen," She flipped the laptop towards me. "Okay, I've made both our accounts active. It's a free trial for thirty days, after that, you'll need to pay twenty bucks a month. I'll use my phone."

A notification popped up on my screen. "Someone just poked me! Is it you?"

"No, check and see."

"Oh, it's some guy called David."

"Ignore him."

"He doesn't look that bad, and also, David is a pretty cool name."

"You just became active a few minutes ago. He couldn't have time to read your entire profile. He's just poking you because you're handsome. He only wants one thing...to f**k you. Stay away from him. I'll send you a request to chat."

A picture of Nadia popped up on the screen. It was taken at the park with a kid running in the background. Her face was tilted to the side and the light happened to be shining at the right angle into her honey-coloured eyes, making them glow. She was pretty.

"Welcome to the twentieth-century dating," She beamed at me. "I just accepted your friend