Sweet Whiskey Nights

All Eyes On Me

Charlotte

I slowly turn around, scared of what’s to come next. “Not technically spying if you’re watching your mama.” I say with a sheepish grin. A flash of recognition flashes across her face before she hides it behind a smile. Just then Mama walks in to gather us and the lady greets my mother with southern pleasantries that I can’t decipher are genuine or a back handed remark. Sam and I smile and say goodbye to the lady as we hurriedly walk out the door. We follow my mother like a pair of baby ducks waddling behind a mother duck and I’m trying my hardest to go undetected. It doesn’t take long though for me to realize that people have started talking because people are glancing over at us and keeping their distance.

“Mama, how much more errands do you have before we can go home?” I hate rushing her but besides the fact that we need to talk about her foreclosure, I want to get the hell out of everyone’s sight. “Well baby, I’d like to get something to eat once we drop these eggs off. I love me some of Mr. Jerry’s pecan pie and I could go for a nice big burger.” Crap. Crap on a stick in fact. She plans to make a day of this. Sam at least is having the time of her life. She’s already said she wants a pair of her own boots and a cowboy hat, along with some better jeans. I’ve come to the conclusion that these two hate me and want me to suffer in Ridge Hell. “You know Charlie, your southern accent sure does come out strong when we’re down here. I kind of like it! It suits you better. I’m really glad you wanted me to come along. I’m having a great time and I can’t wait to try horse back riding or muddin’ even though I’m not quite sure what that is.” Mama smiles as she listens to Sam and I know it’s cuz she wants me home. She’s been trying since I left to get me to come back and even more so since daddy’s funeral. But I make really good money in the city and I love being one drop of water in a huge ocean compared to a tiny puddle that’s here. She’s never understood. She met daddy officially in high school, said she fell in love with his blue eyes. They were attached at the hip ever since. Daddy didn’t involve her in a scandal though, so how could she understand.

My phone buzzes with a text from David, “Can we talk privately later?”

Ew. I reply with a quick NO and ignore my phone for the rest of the time we’re in town. He’s so gross, I have no clue what I ever saw in him. He wanted a Barbie trophy girl and I was too much of Boss Barbie for him. He hated any time I wore my hair in braids or wore a wig. He never could understand the importance of not touching my damn hair. Wanted me to dress a certain way, act a certain way, be seen and not heard. While the whole time he cheated on me with the receptionist at his company. She knew too which made it worse. I’ve always been a girl’s girl so the thought of happily being a side chick just always confused me. As far as I’ve heard, he is still with her. Good. Garbage deserves garbage.

We dropped off Ms. Terri’s eggs and Mama set up an appointment for both of us. Then we got Sam her boots and we both got new cowboy hats. I used to love wearing these hats. I pretty much had one for every outfit. I got a black one with a purple hatband. It fit perfectly and it needed me to give it a home. Afterwards, we stopped at the thrift store and me and Sam bought some jeans and shorts and regular shirts so we don’t look city while we are here. And finally, we are now at the diner eating burgers with fries that we’ll finish off with some pecan pie. I sip my soda as I catch a few people whispering and staring. My appetite was waning when a cute blonde woman about my age with a baby on her hip came up to our table.

“Charlotte, I’m really glad you came back. I’ve been wanting to apologize to you but I didn’t think it was appropriate at your daddy’s funeral.” Her honey colored eyes searching mine as they started to fill with tears. “I am so sorry for everything and how it all turned out and I promise you I was not involved in any type of way.” It wasn’t until a little girl with matching blonde hair in pig tails that looked eerily like a little girl I knew in the past, came running up to her that I realized who she was. I instantly started sweating and I’m sure the fear was evident on my face. My eyes were bouncing from one customer to another while they watched this interaction. I cleared my drying throat and said, “Um, it’s ok. The past is the past and we’ve all moved on from it right?” She wiped a tear that escaped down her cheek before smiling and telling me again that she was sorry before wrangling up her children and grabbing her to go bag. I watched her leave the diner before I quickly darted my eyes down to my food. The whole place was buzzing with whispers now. “Ignore them Charlotte. Rise above. One of the ones who mattered apologized and that’s all that matters.” I nodded my head towards Mama as I tried to just concentrate on my food. Sam sat next to me looking perplexed and asking a question with her eyes to Mama who just shook her head. I knew it was only a matter of time before everything caught up to me, I just didn’t think it would be so soon. I was trying to hold back the tears as I nibbled at my food but a few slid down my cheeks and landed on my plate. Come on Charlie, you dominate boardrooms and out perform everyone in your company, you are the top Acquisitions Manager in your region. You have the best poker face than anyone on this planet and you need to put it on right now.

I don’t bother wiping away the tear stains on my cheeks while I eat. My head is down and my hat hides most of my face. I just want to get through this and get home before I can’t hold it in any longer. I hear Mama ordering a whole pecan pie to go. Thank goodness it’s time to go. We finish up our meals, pay and then head out. I keep my head down and discreetly wipe the tears from my face as we head to the truck. It was a silent ride home and I felt so bad for killing the vibe. I sneak a glance at Sam who catches me as she watches me. I swear she’s the best thing to have ever come into my life. She grabs my hand and squeezes while giving me a weak smile reminding me we’re not just business associates but friends. I give her my own weak smile and squeeze her hand back. I hold onto hers for the rest of the ride home as I get lost in my own thoughts, wishing we had been friends in high school. Maybe she could’ve helped me through it all or maybe she would’ve helped me avoid it all together.