The Pains of Guilt

Chapter 8

Twilight POV

You'd think that I'd be angry and go on a full on rampage or something like that but I just laughed as if I'd just heard the best joke of all time. It was the kind of laugh that made you lack oxygen and your stomach hurts. The kind where you'd start crying and bend over clutching your stomach.

I should probably stop because he's looking at me as if I've finally lost it and belong in a mental institution. Also because my stomach was starting to hurt.

"Sorry. I was just laughing at the irony and hypocrisy of what you just told me. Believe me, you'd be laughing too if you were in my shoes."

"Aren't you upset?"

"No." I shrugged. "I've already made it clear to your brother that whatever goes on in my life is none of his concern and the same goes for me. If anything, I'm glad because I don't have to worry about him wanting to fix things even though there's nothing to fix."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. You don't have to worry about me, I'm fine. And a little relieved that he's someone else's problem now."

"Oh." He went quiet for a while before speaking again. "You know, when you left without a word, it kinda hurt. You were more like a second mom to me than an older sister. I didn't know what exactly happened so I ended up blaming myself for why you left. I thought that you began hating me or something like that."

"How do you feel now?"

"I don't know for sure. I thought I'd happy if I ever saw you again and I am but for some reason, I'm also not and I don't know why." I pulled him in for a hug.

"You might be a little shocked to hear this but the truth is that you're actually mad at me. And based on what you just told me, I understand and I won't hold it against you since I didn't consider how this would affect you. I should've at least kept in touch with you. But let me clear the air and say that it wasn't your fault, it never was. I never hated you either but I definitely can't say the same about your brother. Either way, there's no reason for you to blame yourself. And I missed you too. Feel better now?" I let him go.

"A little. Is there a way we can go back to the way we were before?"

"Sure but since you're all grown, I won't be picking you up like I used to."

"Too bad, I missed those. And Oreo too. How is he by the way?"

"He's no longer around."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, a few months ago, he stopped being as energetic as he usually is. It didn't happen immediately, it started with him getting tired faster than usual and it got worse as time went on until he wouldn't move at all but he was still breathing. When it started, I thought it was old age starting to catch up since he wasn't a puppy anymore but something was definitely up when he wouldn't move at all. When I took him to get checked up, turned out that he had a cancerous lump on his spine. That's why he couldn't move. He was also in a lot of pain. I had two options. Have him put down or let nature take its course. I wanted to choose the second one to spend more time with him before he left but he'd been suffering for way more than he needed to and it would've been selfish so I had him put down."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. That's how much life can suck sometimes but you can't really change it and it doesn't mean that I'll forget about him. He was like that one friend who's always there for you. I'm just glad that Natsumi wasn't there to see it. So, what have you been up to all these years?"

"Nothing much. Actually, I took up coding as a hobby."

"That's pretty cool, maybe I could show you a thing or two."

Later...

Luna visited me again tonight and I was glad because I have a bunch of questions I need answers to.

"Luna, since no-one else knows why I have platinum blonde hair, I wondering if you'd have an answer."

"Do not worry, you are not related to me. I have no direct descendants; I consider all wolves my children even those who did not inherit the gene. Every hundred years, I bless the royal heir with a special gift. It can be anything from a vastly stronger wolf to supernatural powers. I'm sure you know that much from the history books and especially since they're your predecessors."

She's not wrong. I just didn't think much of it.

"I don't mean to sound rude or ungrateful, but how is that a gift?"

"That was not supposed to be your gift, more like an added bonus. I shall leave it to you to figure out."

"Will you only appear in my dreams?"

"Not necessarily. There will be times when I appear in the real world."

"Ok. Next question, why did you pair me up with Trey in the first place? I'm pretty sure that you were aware of his hobby."

"Because you were both broken souls. That being the case, you would have understood each other perfectly and work towards bringing the best out of each other."

"What do you mean by broken souls?"

"You will find out, all in due time."

As usual, I woke up just as she vanished. Dammit, I hate it when she gets all mysterious like that.

"Pack some stuff for the next two days." Mitsu came in.

"And why should I do that?"

"Because you, Etsuko and I are going on a girls' getaway, Ayaka wasn't able to because she and Sky have their hands full with Yoichi. Also you can't say no because I already made bookings as well as payments and they might have been made under your name and it's too late to cancel. We're leaving in a few hours."

"You can't be serious."

"On the contrary, I am."

"I can't just up and leave out of the blue. What about the pack and Natsumi and..."

"Don't worry about it. Youhei's going run things in your place, it's part of his job anyway, and your dad said that he'd look after Natsumi. Everything's taken care of and it's only for the next two days."

"Yeah but..."

"Look, you need a break once in a while otherwise you'll wear yourself out. If you won’t take one on your own, then I’ll force you to. That being said, you can't say no because plans that are too late to cancel have already been made. Also, under your name. So you kinda don't have a choice."

"Fine. Although, I think I need a break from you guys too. Seriously, this is madness."