The Pains of Guilt

Chapter 10

Twilight POV

Why am I practically half naked? Last time I checked, I was wearing normal clothes and definitely not dressed like a prostitute. And why do I smell like...ah geez, what did I do last night? Thankfully, I don't feel weird or smell any arousal. But still, who knows what I could've done or tried to do. It's ok, I'll just pretend as if nothing happened. I don't remember anything anyway so it should be easy. Right?

I found Mitsu passed out in the kitchen, more like passed out in a huge pile of cereal. I don't even want to know where or even how she got her hands on that much cereal.

As for Etsuko, she was in the bathtub. Not so bad, right? If it wasn't for the fact it was of full of...milk, I think?

Geez, this is insane. Where we trying make a plus size breakfast or something? I don't even want to know what I did, or at least tried to do. Well, whatever happened made me learn a valuable lesson. Never go drinking with these two ever again.

Two days later...

Trey asked to see me today. Not sure why but since I have nothing better to do, I guess I'll hear what he has to say.

"How's it going?" He asked and I didn't respond. "I'll get straight to the point. I know that I hurt you."

"That's the understatement of the year." I scoffed.

"True. I admit that I was an ass but I need to explain some things on why I did what I did."

"Let me do the honours. You rejected me because you didn't want a mate. Or rather, you didn't want me because I wasn't good enough for you to the point where you'd rather stick with a slut."

"All those things I said weren't true."

"You sounded pretty damn honest when you said them."

"Please, just listen to what I have to say."

"Five minutes."

"Truth is, I rejected you because I wasn't good enough for you. Knowing the kind of guy I am, I always assumed that I'd get..."

"An equally shitty mate." I finished his sentence.

"Yeah. When I found out that you were my other half, I was happy but at the same time I didn't think it was fair on you. You saved yourself for me but I didn't. And let's face it, you were way out of my league. If I explained it to you, you wouldn't have cared and still accepted me. But you deserved someone better. So I figured it'd be better to get you to hate and then reject me. That's why I did all those things in front of you. And when it became clear that you wouldn't, I had no choice but to come up with random reasons to do it myself. And I also didn't want a mate. I'm sorry. I was being selfish and didn't consider your feelings."

"Uhm, it’s ok but why now and what for? I mean, seven years is long time to wait."

"I would've come sooner but I was kind of a coward." He scratched the back of his head. "And I thought that you would’ve already found another mate. Plus, the guilt was becoming unbearable."

“I see. Is there a reason?"

"For what?"

"For why you don't want a mate. I mean, you can't just wake up one morning and decide that you don't want one. Something must have happened for you to think that way."

"You probably don't know this but my mom isn't my biological mother. What happened was, when my actual mom and my dad met, well you know how the mate bond goes sometimes, they did the deed. They were happy with each other and even more when they found that they were going to have me. And then they planned to get married. But a few days after I was born, she up and left us, without a trace or reason. My dad wasn't sure where it all went wrong. He spent years looking for her and by the time I was 12, he gave up all hope. Then when I was 15, he married my stepmom. She treated me like her own son even after my half-brother came along but I couldn't stop thinking about my real mom. I felt as if she wanted nothing to do with me or my dad. My dad suffered more because she his soul mate but she left him, just like that. She left me when I was only a few days old. It was as if she didn't love us. I guess that's why I became such a..."

"A man w***e?"

"You really don't sugar coat anything, do you?"

"No. I don't see the point of it, it's not like it'll change the facts. A lot people say I need a filter but I can't help being direct about things, I guess I got it from my mom. That's also what people say. Anyway, you were saying?"

"That's why I slept around. You could say that it was a coping mechanism for me. I had this mentality that if my own mother didn't love me then no-one else could. I didn't want a mate because I afraid that what happened to my dad would also happen to me. I know that chances were slim but that doesn't mean that they weren't there. I only knew her for a few days and have no memories of her but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt."

"I get it, you were afraid of being left, again, by someone who's supposed to love you. That's exactly how I felt when you rejected me, that's why I was so reluctant to have a second mate. But in my opinion, I don't think that she didn't love you and your dad."

"What makes you say that?"

"If she didn't then she would've rejected your dad. Not only that but she wouldn't have brought you into the world. I think she was just scared."