The Pains of Guilt

Chapter 11

Twilight POV

"How do you know?"

"It's normal for parents to worry for their children's future. My mom and dad felt the same when they had me and so did I with Natsumi. I think all parents do, including yours, and they always want to do what's best for their children. I think she wanted the same for you and I'm sure she had her reasons. I mean, I wanted to give my pup up because I didn't think that I'd be a good enough mother for her to at least turn out ok. Also, postpartum depression can be a bitch."

"I guess so but it doesn’t really reverse the damage. You know; I came to apologise but ended up getting to know you. You're not like what most guys say you are."

"What do they think I'm like?"

"A merciless, soulless and sadistic she-beast. Their words, not mine. Some used she-devil or five feet of fury instead."

"Wow." I snorted. Do they really think I'm like that? I mean, it’s half true but give me some credit. “What guys think that?” I doubt they’re in my pack because they know that I’m not really like that and they’re used to my so-called masculine ways.

“The other Alphas.”

That makes more sense.

“In that case, it’s good that they think so. It’s kind of true but only when someone gets on my bad side and I wouldn’t say I’m completely merciless or soulless. They’re probably saying all that because I’m playing them for fools and I may or may not be enjoying it. But in my defence, I can’t have them thinking that I’m a pushover otherwise they’d think I have time to humour their bullshit which I really don’t have the time or patience for. And probably because they don’t like the idea of a woman having more power than them or being able to sit at a table with men which they really should get over.”

“Right. By the way, I didn’t expect you to have pierced your wolf ears.” He referred to the earrings and stud on my right ear. I would’ve done both ears but I thought it’d look too much hence there’s only one earring on my left ear.

“I actually pierced my human ears; I just got two extra ones on the earlobe and one on the helix.”

I chose the human ears since they were less sensitive. The piercings still show when I left my wolf ears out and when I shift. I still remember when I showed them to Takumi during one of our video calls.

*Flashback*

“Notice anything different?”

“I don’t think s… wait, you actually got the extra piercings?”

“Sure did.”

“To be honest, I would’ve been surprised if you didn’t get them. Did you get the belly button one too?”

“Nope. I thought it’d be too much and I’d be pushing my luck.”

*End of flashback*

Wait a minute, I shouldn’t be thinking of him.

“When did you pierce?”

“When I turned 19. I was 15 when I wanted to do it but my dad only let me get one on each earlobe so I could at least wear a pair of earrings. After that, I spent two of life begging for extra ones before he agreed but said only when I was 19. I was tempted to do my belly button too but I thought I’d done enough.” And that I’d be pushing my luck with my dad. "So, what have you been doing these days?"

"Apart from being Alpha, I took up developmental psychology and now, I'm a certified child psychologist."

"Oh?"

"After what happened with me, I didn't want any other pup to go through something similar. And I also like working with them and they feel the same. I've pretty much become their spokesperson."

"That's very...honourable of you."

"I don't know if I’m pushing my luck, but can we at least be friends?"

I thought about it for a bit since I'm not really sure about this. Hmm. I guess it's ok as long as we don't become something more.

"Yeah, I guess as long as it doesn't turn into something more. Romance is definitely not something that I want from anyone."

"I doubt it'll turn into anything more since we're no longer mates."

"I guess so and I’m sure that your mate wouldn’t like that very much."

“I don’t have one or rather, I haven’t found her yet.”

“Oh.” Now that might be a problem.