Not Forgiveness, But Release
1924 Words
The silver dagger felt heavier than it should have.
Maybe because it wasn't really a weapon anymore.
Maybe because it was a choice.
Lily stood in the frozen illusion, her fingers wrapped around the cold handle while Marcus and Jace knelt before her.
Neither moved.
Neither spoke.
The entire world seemed to be waiting.
Waiting for judgment.
Waiting for revenge.
Waiting for blood.
How fitting.
Everyone always expected blood from her.
Lily almost laughed.
Of course the second trial would be about forgiveness.
Of course the universe would decide that after years of manipulation, betrayal, kidnapping, lies, murder, experiments, prophecies, and emotional whiplash, she should suddenly become some enlightened saint.
Easy.
No pressure.
Just forgive everybody.
Move on.
Maybe hug it out afterward.
"Yeah," she muttered. "That sounds healthy."
Marcus blinked.
Jace frowned.
The illusion remained silent.
Apparently sarcasm wasn't enough to pass ancient supernatural trials.
Worth a shot.
Lily looked down at the dagger.
Then at Marcus.
The man who had carried her from a burning building.
Protected her.
Lied to her.
Terrified her.
Saved her life more times than she could count.
And killed her father.
Not her biological father.
Her real father.
The man who raised her.
The only father that mattered.
The wound still existed.
Maybe it always would.
Slowly, Lily lowered the blade.
Marcus's eyes widened slightly.
"Lily..."
"No."
Her voice was calm.
Too calm.
The kind of calm that came after every tear had already been shed.
"You don't get to talk yet."
Marcus closed his mouth.
For once.
A miracle.
Lily took a slow breath.
Then met his eyes.
"I will never forgive you."
The words echoed through the illusion.
Sharp.
Honest.
Necessary.
Pain flickered across Marcus's face.
But he didn't argue.
Didn't defend himself.
Didn't make excuses.
Good.
Because she was tired of excuses.
"You killed him."
Her throat tightened.
"He loved me."
A pause.
"And I loved him."
Marcus lowered his head.
"I know."
"No."
Lily shook her head.
"You know the facts."
Her voice trembled.
"You don't know what it felt like."
Silence.
"I missed birthdays because I was grieving."
She swallowed hard.
"I spent years wondering if he'd suffered."
Another breath.
"You took that from me."
Marcus's shoulders slumped.
For the first time since she'd met him, the Alpha looked small.
Not physically.
Emotionally.
Like a man carrying a weight too heavy to survive.
And somehow...
That didn't make her feel better.
Because pain wasn't justice.
It was just pain.
Lily looked at the dagger again.
One thrust.
That was all.
The trial would probably accept it.
Part of her wanted to.
A younger version of herself definitely wanted to.
But then what?
Another corpse.
Another grave.
Another person dead because of her blood.
Another cycle continuing.
Exactly what Caspian would have wanted.
Exactly what every monster before him had chosen.
"No."
Lily lowered the blade completely.
"I won't kill you."
Marcus stared at her.
Confused.
Hopeful.
Terrified.
"Not because I forgive you."
She took a step back.
"Because I don't want to become another version of him."
The illusion trembled.
Light rippled across the floor.
Something had changed.
Something important.
Marcus slowly closed his eyes.
As if the sentence hurt more than any wound.
Then he whispered:
"I understand."
And somehow...
Lily believed him.
For the first time.
He actually did.
She turned toward Jace.
Immediately his expression hardened.
Defensive.
Braced for impact.
Smart wolf.
He knew impact was coming.
"You."
Jace snorted.
"Good start."
Lily almost smiled.
Almost.
"You manipulated me."
"True."
"You lied."
"Frequently."
"You used me."
"Also true."
"You helped start a civil war."
Jace tilted his head.
"Technically—"
"Don't."
"Fair."
Silence stretched between them.
Different from Marcus.
With Marcus there was grief.
With Jace there was anger.
Frustration.
The infuriating realization that she actually liked him sometimes despite wanting to strangle him.
An annoying talent he possessed.
Like surviving things that should kill him.
Or appearing dramatically from shadows.
Or being attractive when he absolutely didn't deserve it.
Jace waited.
Uncharacteristically quiet.
Lily folded her arms.
"You know what the worst part is?"
His golden eyes met hers.
"What?"
"You made me doubt myself."
That finally landed.
She saw it.
The guilt.
Real guilt.
Not performance.
Not manipulation.
Real regret.
Jace looked away.
And that hurt him more than any accusation.
Interesting.
Useful information.
Lily filed it away.
For absolutely no reason.
Definitely not because she cared.
"Three times."
Jace blinked.
"What?"
"You saved my life three times."
His expression softened.
Slightly.
"Four."
"Don't push it."
A ghost of a smile appeared.
Then vanished.
Lily exhaled.
"We're even."
Jace stared.
Completely caught off guard.
"What?"
"We're even."
She shrugged.
"You hurt me."
A pause.
"You saved me."
Another pause.
"I don't forgive you."
His jaw tightened.
"But I don't owe you hatred anymore either."
For the first time since she'd met him...
Jace looked speechless.
An event worthy of documentation.
Possibly supernatural.
The illusion shook again.
Cracks spread across the air.
Silver light emerged.
The trial was listening.
Evaluating.
Judging.
And apparently honesty worked better than forgiveness.
Good.
Because honesty was all she had left.
Lily looked at both men.
At the Alpha.
At the Rogue.
At two people who had destroyed parts of her life.
And saved parts of it too.
Complicated.
Messy.
Human.
Even when they weren't human.
Especially then.
"I don't forgive either of you."
Neither interrupted.
Smart wolves.
"Maybe I never will."
A long silence.
Then Lily continued.
"But I don't want revenge anymore."
The world brightened.
The cracks widened.
"Because revenge doesn't bring people back."
More light.
"Revenge doesn't heal anything."
The illusion trembled violently.
"And honestly?"
She laughed softly.
"I'm tired."
For the first time...
Both Marcus and Jace understood exactly what she meant.
Tired of being hunted.
Tired of being needed.
Tired of being a weapon.
A prophecy.
A blood source.
A prize.
A solution.
A problem.
Everything except herself.
Lily straightened.
Then pointed at both of them.
"Now listen carefully."
Neither spoke.
"You're not required to forgive each other."
Marcus frowned.
Jace rolled his eyes.
Already suspicious.
Good.
They should be.
"I'm not asking for friendship."
Marcus looked horrified.
Jace looked even more horrified.
Which was honestly hilarious.
"Thank God," Jace muttered.
"Seriously."
Marcus nodded.
"Agreed."
Lily pinched the bridge of her nose.
Children.
They were giant supernatural children.
Both of them.
"Just shut up."
Instant silence.
Much better.
"For three days."
She met their eyes.
"Until I finish the trials."
The air became still.
"I want a truce."
Neither moved.
"Not for me."
A pause.
"For everyone who doesn't deserve to die."
Silence.
Long.
Heavy.
Meaningful.
Then something appeared between them.
A document.
Ancient.
Made of glowing blood-red parchment.
Covered in silver runes.
A Blood Pact.
The trial's answer.
Lily smiled.
Apparently the universe agreed with her.
About time.
She bit her finger.
Pressed her bloody thumb against the contract.
The runes ignited.
One signature complete.
Marcus stared at the pact.
Then at Lily.
Then signed.
Without another word.
Jace groaned dramatically.
"This is emotional blackmail."
"Sign."
"Fine."
He pressed his thumb down.
The moment the third signature appeared—
The entire illusion exploded.
Light swallowed everything.
The trial collapsed.
Reality returned.
Lily gasped awake.
Mist Valley surrounded her.
The ancient chamber.
The stone floor.
The smell of old magic.
Marcus.
Jace.
Elder Thorne.
All real.
All alive.
The elder smiled.
Ancient eyes shining.
"The second trial is complete."
Lily wiped sweat from her forehead.
"What was the answer?"
Thorne nodded approvingly.
"You chose something harder than forgiveness."
Silence.
Then:
"You chose release."
The words settled heavily.
And somehow felt right.
Before she could think further—
The elder's expression became serious.
Very serious.
Uh-oh.
That was never good.
Ancient immortal mentors only looked that serious when somebody was about to suffer.
Usually her.
"The third trial awaits."
Lily sighed.
"Of course it does."
Elder Thorne pointed toward the valley.
Far beyond the stone chamber.
Beyond the mist.
Beyond reality itself.
A massive tree rose into the sky.
Ancient.
Colossal.
Its silver branches pierced the clouds.
Its roots seemed to hold the world together.
The Eternal Tree.
The heart of the Eternal Covenant.
"The final trial is sacrifice."
Silence filled the room.
Thorne continued.
"You must enter alone."
Lily nodded.
Reasonable.
Concerning.
But reasonable.
"You must pour your blood upon the roots."
The elder's voice softened.
"And surrender the power of Lunar Blood forever."
Marcus stiffened.
Jace looked away.
Neither seemed surprised.
Which meant they had already suspected something.
"When the covenant awakens..."
Thorne said quietly.
"You will become fully human."
Lily stared at the tree.
At the future waiting beyond it.
A normal life.
No hunters.
No prophecies.
No wars.
No blood.
Maybe that was enough.
Maybe it was everything.
"I'll do it."
Her answer came immediately.
Without hesitation.
Without doubt.
Marcus moved before anyone else could react.
"What?"
His voice echoed through the chamber.
"No."
Lily blinked.
"Marcus—"
"No."
The Alpha stepped forward.
Actually angry.
Terrified angry.
The dangerous kind.
"Tell her."
He turned toward Thorne.
"Tell her everything."
The elder fell silent.
Which was not encouraging.
At all.
Lily frowned.
"What aren't you telling me?"
Nobody answered.
Bad sign.
Very bad sign.
Marcus looked as though he wanted to punch a mountain.
Possibly several mountains.
Then finally he spoke.
"If you lose Lunar Blood..."
His voice cracked.
Just slightly.
"You lose more than your powers."
Lily's stomach dropped.
"What do you mean?"
Marcus stared at her.
Then looked away.
As if saying the words physically hurt.
"The disease."
Silence.
"The one you were born with."
Lily froze.
"Your immune deficiency."
The chamber became deathly quiet.
Marcus swallowed hard.
"Without Lunar Blood suppressing it..."
His voice lowered.
"It comes back."
Lily felt cold.
Suddenly.
Terribly cold.
"No."
Marcus closed his eyes.
"You'll start getting sick again."
"No."
His jaw tightened.
"And without wolf healing..."
A pause.
A devastating pause.
"You'll die."
The world stopped.
Lily slowly turned toward Elder Thorne.
"Is he telling the truth?"
The old hybrid looked ancient suddenly.
Tired.
Sad.
Honest.
"Yes."
One word.
That was all it took.
"Once the Lunar Blood disappears..."
Thorne said softly.
"Your condition will return."
Lily couldn't breathe.
"You would have approximately five years."
Silence.
Five years.
Not fifty.
Not twenty.
Not ten.
Five.
Marcus looked ready to tear reality apart.
Jace looked as though someone had punched straight through his chest.
And Lily...
Lily simply stood there.
Thinking.
A minute passed.
Maybe longer.
Then she smiled.
Small.
Tired.
Certain.
"Five years is still five years."
Marcus stared at her.
"It's enough."
She turned toward the Eternal Tree.
"More than enough."
And began walking.
Marcus exploded forward.
"NO!"
A barrier of silver light slammed into him.
Throwing him backward.
The ancient magic had already chosen.
Lily kept walking.
Marcus punched the barrier.
Once.
Twice.
Again.
Cracks appeared in the stone wall behind him.
Not the barrier.
Never the barrier.
"You can't do this!"
Lily didn't stop.
Marcus turned toward Jace.
Pure fury blazing in his eyes.
"You're just going to let her die?"
Jace watched Lily's retreating figure.
Expression unreadable.
Then he answered quietly.
"She's always been like this."
Marcus froze.
Jace laughed bitterly.
"You think choosing either of us would've changed that?"
No answer.
Because there wasn't one.
Marcus slammed both fists into the barrier.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Blood covered his knuckles.
Lily finally looked back.
The Alpha stood trapped behind silver light.
Broken.
Furious.
Terrified.
For her.
She smiled softly.
"Take care of yourself."
Then she stepped into the light.
And disappeared.
- Writer
