Future Lost

29

Then back, back, back to one year ago, when I fought with Lynne on the beach for my life. I had to get the gun from her to stop her from killing me or Adam, to stop her from getting away with the murders of Trent and Zoe. But the gun went off. She fell into the pale sand. I can still feel the trigger sliding between my fingers. I like to think it was an accident, but it wasn’t. Not really.

And back, back, back even further. To the moment that defined my life, that I try to never think about, that I keep locked away in the back of my mind in a thick safe. Somehow the memory still manages to get out anyway, now and then. Papá, drunk and angry, going for my poor mother with a baseball bat. Me, just seven years old, darting in front of him. Not thinking about anything but protecting the person I loved most. The look on his face of pure rage before the bat came down on me instead. And then Mamá, pulling me away, tucking me behind her, taking the rest of the blows. Protecting me until her very last breath.

Papá is in prison for being a killer. And me? I’m not any better than him. Maybe I should be locked up too.

“Elena?” Adam’s voice breaks through the darkness of my mind. “Are you okay?”

The water is cold, and my limbs are stiff. I don’t know how long I’ve been in here. Adam reaches inside and shuts off the shower, then wraps a towel around me and carefully helps me to my feet. I stumble out and he pulls me against his chest, wrapping me in his warm strength.

While he rubs circles along my back, I bury my face in his shoulder. All I can do is hold on to him as he slowly restores life to me. “I know,” he says. “I know. And I’m so sorry.”

It’s true. He’s the only one who will ever understand what I’ve been through or what we’re up against. I don’t know what will happen between us, or if I’ll ever trust him again, but right now we need each other. It’s his fault we’re in this mess, but if he hadn’t gone to the future, we’d never have known what horrible fate awaited us, and we’d never have had the chance to change it.

I draw in a deep breath. The past is in the past, and the future isn’t written yet. There’s still time for us to make things right, but we have to work together to do that.

I pull back. “Your turn for a shower.”

“It can wait,” he says with concern in his eyes as he looks me over.

“I’m fine. And you definitely need one.” I retreat to the doorway, but then turn around. “I’ll order us some food while you’re in there. Your choice. Anything you want.”

“Pizza.” His answer is immediate. “Really hot, greasy pizza.”

That gets a small smile out of me. “Done.”

Once the shower is running, I order Adam’s favorite pizza and sit down with my laptop. Max curls up at my side while I begin searching the Internet. I’m not sure how much I’ll find, but it seems the obvious place to start.

After a few minutes, I want to throw my laptop against the wall. There’s no record of any neo-Nazi group called the White Outs, and everything else I searched for came up blank or led me to a dead end. I should have gone back for that photo. I’m almost tempted to go back to the future to try to get it somehow. Almost.

“Find anything?” Adam asks. He’s thrown on some jeans and a thin black T-shirt, but his dark hair is still wet and messy, hanging over his eyes. With him in those clothes, I can tell how thin he’s gotten, and my heart aches for him all over again.

I force my eyes back to my laptop before I say or do something I shouldn’t. “No. I don’t think the White Outs exist yet. Or at least there’s no record of them online.”

“Hmm.” He slides on his glasses and curls up beside me on the couch, rubbing Max’s head. “Maybe we should ask Zahra if she can dig up anything.”

I shake my head. “I don’t want to involve her or anyone else. Not yet at least.”

“Why not?”

“They’ve been through so much over the last couple months, and their lives are finally getting back to normal after Jeremy’s death. I don’t want to ruin it all by telling them what the future has in store for them. Not yet anyway.”

He slowly nods. “Maybe it’s better to keep it between the two of us for now. Especially since we don’t know who came back from the future with us or why. Getting them involved might put them in danger.”

“Exactly. Once we know more, we’ll tell them everything.” Our dinner arrives, and for a few minutes, we do nothing but eat. Adam tears through the BBQ chicken pizza like he hasn’t eaten in days. For all I know, he hasn’t.

When he catches me watching him, he gives me a sheepish grin. “Sorry. We couldn’t exactly order delivery over there.”

“No kidding. Eat as much as you want.”

He finishes his slice and wipes his hands on a napkin. “Every night in the future I’d lie in bed, unable to sleep, wondering if I’d ever make it home. Thinking about all the things I missed. You. Max. Family and friends. And yes, pizza.”

I hand him another slice. “You had to know I would come for you.”

That haunted look is back in his eyes. “Some days I hoped you would. Other days I prayed you’d stay far away from that nightmare.”

I set my plate down, my appetite gone. “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know. But we have a few years to figure it out.”

“We need to track down the man in that photo. My future self must have believed he was a part of this, otherwise why would she include it?”