LUSTS OF THE FLESH

Next Door Orgasm

ASHLEIGH

One week after I finally ended things with Carl, Zayn went steady with Maya.

He never calls her his girlfriend, but he kisses her temple at the dinner table.

He lets her fall asleep on his chest on the couch.

He lets her wear his clothes.

They're not dating officially; she's more like a stable fling, but Maya might as well be carrying a neon sign that says she's his property because she's here almost every day after classes.

Her annoying vanilla body spray lingers in the air everywhere she goes.

Tonight she's staying over, and we're eating dinner together.

Mum's humming happily as she serves the food like this is the best thing that's happened all year.

To them, it almost is because Zayn finally brought home a girl.

I sit across from them and keep my eyes on my plate, pushing my food around because I lack the appetite to eat. The sight of them together sickens me.

Maya is giggling at something Zayn said while she picks something out of his hair. His hand is on her thigh under the table.

Dad casually talks about football, and Maya contributes well. She is disgustingly educated on the topic, and it further annoys me.

Why does she have to be so perfect?

"It's really nice to have a full table again," Mum says with a blinding beam. "Have some more casserole, Maya. Feel free, you're family."

Maya blushes and reaches for the casserole bowl. "Thanks, Mrs. Richardson."

Zayn is quietly eating his food, ignoring me like I'm not even at the table. Like I don't even exist.

Dad raises his glass of apple juice. "To young love."

"To young love," they all chorus, except me.

I want to throw up in my mouth.

Halfway through dessert, I excuse myself, mumbling something about a headache. No one tries to stop me, but I feel Zayn's eyes burning into my back.

I take the stairs two at a time, wanting to get as far away from them as fast as possible. When their voices fade away, I relax, about to open my room door, when Maya's voice stops me.

"Hey."

I turn to see her on the last step, coming in my direction. She must've followed me.

Her navy blue dress clings to her curves, and her red hair is loose.

Maya is pretty. I'll give her that. Maybe even prettier than me.

"Can we please talk?" She asks softly.

I shrug in response.

"I know you don't like me," she says, drawing closer.

I don't even bother denying it.

"We got off on the wrong foot that day in the lecture hall, and I hate it. But I really like Zayn. Like… really like him." Her face softens. "And he's your brother, so you're important to him, which means I want us to be okay."

A small, nervous smile creeps across her face. "Can we please just bury the hatchet? Start fresh?"

I stare at her blankly.

The poor girl has no idea he's only keeping her around to punish me.

At least that's what I keep repeating in my head because the alternative—that he's actually starting to like her, that he's moving on for real—is a thought I can't survive tonight.

"I'm not trying to replace you or anything," Maya presses on. "I know how close you two are. He talks about you all the time, actually. How you've always had his back, how you're the only person who really gets him." She laughs softly. "He also gets this look when he talks about you, too… like you're special." She continues.

My heart flutters briefly with hope because this means he's been thinking about me. And then... it plummets with fear, because if Maya ever figures out what that look really means, it won't end well for any of us.

"I just want to be part of this family too," she finishes in a small voice. "If you'll let me."

Part of this family? Dream on, babe.

She takes my hand in hers. "Please."

I look down at it, then look back up at her before forcing my lips into a smile.

"Yeah," I whisper. "Fresh start sounds good."

Her whole face lights up. "Really?"

She pulls me into a tight hug. "Thank you, Ashleigh. Seriously. This means a lot."

I pull back and nod.

Maya smiles, then leaves for downstairs happily, while I stand there in the hallway, bleeding on the inside, wondering how many more times I can lie to someone's face before the words stop coming out at all.

He hasn't moved on.

He can't have. Right?

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Zayn has moved on.

I can hear him f*****g Maya in his room later that night.

Mum and Dad's bedroom is downstairs, hence the freedom to attempt such. But my wall is his wall, and every sound leaks through like it's being piped directly into my skull.

I can hear every creak of his bed, every soft slap of skin, and Maya's little moans of pleasure that go higher with each thrust.

I can picture exactly how he's doing it… the slow, deep strokes at first, the way he always did with me.

Pulling both pillows over my head with force until my arms shake, I unleash a scream of frustration into them, but it's useless.

I still hear everything. She's moaning his name, and all I can think is that it used to be me.

It used to be me making those sounds, dragging my nails through his back, begging him for more while he told me I was his good girl, his only girl... while he called me his little sister.

Now it's her.

The headboard's thumping on the wall becomes harder. Faster.

Zayn isn't even trying to be quiet anymore. He knows I'm right here, and he wants me to hear every second of it.

Well, I do hear every second of it, and what's shocking is that I'm not just pissed off, I'm turned on.

Dragging the pillows off my face, I roll my nightgown up and spread my legs.

When my fingers dive between them, I'm shamefully wet.

It's been eight days since Zayn last touched me.

Eight days of him ignoring me, barely even glancing in my direction.

I listen in while rubbing my c**t to his sexy grunts and Maya's muffled cries through the wall. Every time Zayn growls something filthy, I press harder.

Two of my fingers plunge inside my p***y, matching the rhythm of the headboard's thud. In my mind, I'm imagining him driving into me.

I spread my legs wider and hate how easily I fall into this… How my mind flashes back to the way he f***s me.

I can almost feel his hand in my hair, his teeth on my shoulder, and the delicious way his c**k stretches my tight cunt until I sob.

My free hand goes to my breast, pinching my n****e so hard that it stings, imagining it's his mouth… his teeth sinking into my flesh.

Gosh, my juices are running down my thighs onto the sheets, making a mess I'll have to sleep in later.

I'm panting raggedly, finger-f*****g myself harder.

"That's it… f**k… just like that…" Zayn's rough voice leaks through the wall.

He's talking to Maya, but I pretend it's me, bucking my hips into my hand.

His name slips out of my mouth in a pleasure-filled moan. "Zayn…"

In my silly mind, I'm imagining him watching me touch myself through the wall. It's a silly, delusional thought, but it makes me wetter than I already am.

Maya's moan pitches slightly higher, suggesting she's about to come.

I'm close too.

She breaks, calling his name, and I break with her, coming the exact second she does. I throw a pillow over my mouth to keep from screaming, biting into it as I pulse and contract around nothing but my own fingers, aching for something thicker.

Something that belongs to me.

Zayn's low, guttural groan follows, and I know he's just come too.

The headboard gives a few last lazy thuds, then silence falls, except for Maya's sleepy, satisfied laugh.

I wonder if he came inside her like he does to me. She's not worthy of his c*m. Only I am.

Fucking b***h. I hate her.

I want her gone from his life.

I lie there in the dark, still recovering from the aftermath of my orgasm, staring at the ceiling as I find it hard to believe I just came listening to my brother f**k another girl.

I came harder than I have all week because of it.

There is something deeply, irreparably wrong with me.

I'm not normal.

Maybe I need therapy. I'd probably terrify him/her, though, once they discover what goes on in this head of mine. The things I've done with Zayn and all.

The high of my orgasm drains fast, leaving nothing but cold, ugly post-nut clarity.

Zayn is really done with me. He has moved on with Maya. Her moans echo in my head as if they're mocking me.

He has given her what used to be mine, and I cry myself to sleep just thinking about it.