Suits & Aces (#3)

15 // Puzzles

Life was like a set of blank puzzles, there were a lot of fitting pieces, and yet, there was no telling which belonged where. There was no telling where others fitted in.

Her mind was buzzing with questions, and an answer to each one of those questions was betrayal. She could not put her fingers on it, why would he deceive her after everything they had been through together?

She could not understand what was happening to her, it was like her mind was blank, as if the last few weeks did not happen, but the moment that woman started speaking, everything came back to her. It was as if a switch had been turned on.

It frightened her, had they done something to her at the hospital? Did they inject her with something to make her forget what happened? Did Logan pay them to have her memory erased?

Jane.

Jane! She could not believe it, she could have sworn that she saw the young woman just yesterday, going on about her daughter all day. She was a cheerful soul, she brightened everyone's day at the cafe. Antonina could not believe that light was gone.

How could she have missed it?

She was there for him when he needed her and not even once did she try to deceive him or make him believe in something that was not true. What was he hoping to achieve with all this? How was she supposed to face the community again after this? Families would be burying their loved ones tomorrow, her cafe would forever be associated with their deaths.

This all started when she went to London, it had Javier Mendoza written all over.

Just when she thought she was done with that life, the violence and crime, this had to happen.

She could not even remember what happened in the last few days, it was as if someone had taken over her body.

She had to remind herself of who she was, she had to remember herself. She was Antonina Sandoval dos Santos, 55 years old, married to the worst criminal possible, and childless.

And now, a woman on the verge of death.

She appeared to be a strong woman in the eyes of the public. Her employees, family and friends looked up to her.

She was a role model to many, for her kind heart and loving nature.

She was like a mother to the motherless, and she enjoyed it.

She appeared strong and happy in front of people, but deep inside, she was hurting.

Antonina was a woman with many scars. A woman who had seen life and its all.

She was a woman who was deprived of her children. A woman denied love.

She was a woman scorned.

For almost twenty years, she had lived alone in her three bedroom house in Cape Town. Every single day, she'd come back to an empty and lonely house. She could not bring herself to calling it a home because she had no one. Her sister-in-law and nephew had moved to Australia, but even if they were around, they had their own home. At least they had a home.

Her husband was in prison, and he was not going to be released anytime soon, he had two more years to serve, and she wished that could be a lifetime, because the time she spent without him was the best years of her life.

She had gotten used to being alone and coming back to an empty house that she was still finding it hard to believe that there was someone here with her. Logan Parker was not an ideal candidate to be called a friend or roommate, he was just her business partner going through a rough time.

However, she was starting to see him as son she never had, but he betrayed her. The worst part was that he involved her staff in his lies.

She left while they were all busy and took a cab home, it was probably the worst drive possible. The news of the shooting and the mass funeral was all over the news, local radio stations, and newspapers.

"Oh, Parker!" She thought as she sat on the veranda in front of her house. He would be back any minute now.

She sat there until it was dark, and there was still no sign of Logan.

It was getting chilly outside, and she was just wearing a dress that left her shoulders bare.

She sighed and got up, tired and emotionally drained. She did not even have an appetite, she just wished she could sleep and wake up when it was all over.

She sat in the dining room, not bothering to switch on the lights, the only light that was on was the one outside so that she could see when Logan returned.

About two hours later, he came back, and as usual, he looked exhausted. But for the first time in weeks, she could not bring herself to even feel sorry for him, she could not find the spark of excitement that usually lit up in her chest at his arrival.

She felt empty.

He switched on the light and stood at the door, leaning against the door frame. "Koki told me what happened today," he said into the silent room.

She shook her head at him. "I did not know what was going on in my life, and you just sat there every single day, looked in my face, and lied."

"I just did not want to make things worse."

She snorted, her heart soaring in bitterness. "And how is that working out?"

"You were not there, okay!" Logan yelled. "You did not see what I saw, you were a mess, you could not even tell the difference in time. I have no idea what is going on with you but I did not want to make it worse. I know I shouldn't have lied, but I did not know what else to do. One minute you are here and the next you are stuck in some fairytale world in which your kids are here."

She could not believe her ears, she had never spoken to anyone about her children in years, she had even given up the idea of ever seeing them again, she always thought, "perhaps in another life."

Her chest tightened, tears rolling down her face, and she forced herself to breathe. It was the only thing she could do at the moment. "Fine, say what you're saying is true. When you noticed that something was wrong with me and you couldn't understand what it was, why didn't you take me to the doctor?" Logan remained quiet and stared her dead in the face. "You thought you could contain it, didn't you?" She laughed bitterly.

He placed his jacket on the armrest and sat down. "I thought it was just trauma from everything that happened, I didn't think it was anything serious."

"And today?"

"I thought it would keep things off your mind."

She nodded. "The mass funeral is tomorrow, we have to go."

He shifted uncomfortably. "There's no need, I–"

"You paid for everything, I know. But money does not solve everything Logan." She got up and walked towards where he was seated. "We are going to the funeral tomorrow, and after that I want you out of my house."

He gulped, pain hidden in the depths of his eyes, but did not say anything, he replied with a nod.

She left to her room and got into bed, and throughout the night, she wondered to herself if she would still remember who she was the following morning if she closed her eyes.

As for Logan, she did not know whether she could ever trust him again.