ANATOMY OF DESIRE

LINES WE SHOULDN'T CROSS

The cafeteria was louder than usual, a buzzing hive of clattering trays and shouted conversations. I sat with Jess, picking at soggy fries that tasted like cardboard, pretending I wasn’t scanning the room for him.

Pretending. That’s all I seem to do these days.

Jess was mid-rant about some professor assigning a ten-page paper due right after midterms. I nodded when it felt appropriate, but my mind was elsewhere.

And then—like the universe wanted to punish me—Adrian walked in.

He didn’t blend. He never blended. He moved through the crowd like he owned the space, like people just happened to exist around him. A couple of girls at the table near the door whispered, giggling behind their hands as his eyes brushed past them. He didn’t stop. Didn’t care.

But when his gaze slid across the room, it landed on me.

Jess followed the direction of my frozen stare. Her fork clattered against her plate.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she muttered.

I looked away too late. He was already walking toward us.

“Don’t encourage him,” Jess hissed.

I tried to look casual, shoving a fry into my mouth like that could make me invisible. My throat was too dry to swallow.

Adrian stopped right at our table, hands shoved in his hoodie pocket. His shadow fell across me.

“English major.” His voice was low, almost lazy, but it curved around me like a secret.

Jess bristled. “She has a name.”

He flicked a glance at her, amused. “I know.” Then his eyes came back to me, steady, unreadable. “Walk with me.”

It wasn’t a request. It was a command wrapped in velvet.

“No,” Jess said before I could answer.

“Yes,” I heard myself whisper.

Her jaw dropped. “Mara—”

But I was already standing, tray abandoned, pulse sprinting. I followed Adrian out into the hallway, heat crawling up my neck.

⸻

The silence between us stretched as we walked, his pace unhurried, mine half a step behind. Finally, he led me outside, past the quad, to a quiet corner near the library. The air smelled like damp leaves.

“What do you want from me?” I asked, arms crossed tight.

He leaned against the brick wall, studying me with that half-smirk that wasn’t really a smile. “I like watching you pretend you’re not curious.”

“I’m not curious.”

“Sure you are.” He tilted his head. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.”

I hated that he was right. Hated how my body betrayed me every time he looked at me, how my breath stuttered like he’d reached inside my chest and rewired me.

“You don’t even know me,” I said.

“Then let me.”

It should’ve sounded sweet. But from him, it sounded dangerous, like an invitation to step off a ledge.

“Why me?” The words slipped out before I could stop them.

Adrian’s eyes flickered, sharp and unreadable. “Because you don’t look at me like everyone else does. You don’t want what they want.”

“And what do they want?”

His mouth curved. “Pieces of me I don’t give away.”

For a moment, the world narrowed to just us—the faint hum of traffic in the distance, the cold wall at his back, my pulse hammering in my ears.

I should’ve walked away. Instead, I stepped closer.

“Adrian,” I whispered, though I didn’t even know what I wanted to say.

He reached out, fingers brushing my wrist, light as smoke. “Tell me to stop.”

But I didn’t. Couldn’t.

His hand slid down, curling around mine. My breath hitched. His touch was warm, steady, but it sent sparks racing up my arm like static I couldn’t shake.

“This is a bad idea,” I murmured.

“The best ones usually are,” he said.

The space between us collapsed. His mouth hovered close, close enough that I felt the ghost of his breath against my skin. My whole body screamed yes even as my mind whispered no.

And that’s when Jess’s voice cut through the air like a knife.

“Mara!”

I jerked back, heart slamming against my ribs. Jess stood a few feet away, arms crossed, eyes blazing.

“What the hell are you doing?”

I stepped away from Adrian, guilt crawling hot under my skin. “It’s not what it looks like.”

She scoffed. “Really? Because it looks exactly like what everyone said would happen.”

Adrian’s expression didn’t change. He just shoved his hands back into his pockets, eyes flicking between us. “Relax. We’re just talking.”

Jess glared at him. “You don’t talk. You ruin things.”

“Depends on who you ask.”

Before she could fire back, he turned to me. “See you around, English major.” His voice was calm, but something flickered behind his eyes, quick and unreadable. Then he walked off, disappearing into the shadows like he always did.

I stood frozen, throat tight, while Jess stared at me like I was a stranger.

“Mara,” she said finally, voice low and sharp, “if you keep going down this road, you’re going to regret it.”

I didn’t answer. Because deep down, I already knew she was right.

⸻

That night, the guilt twisted harder. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, Jess’s words echoing in my head.

You’re going to regret it.

But the worst part?

When my phone buzzed on the nightstand, I didn’t ignore it.

Adrian: Couldn’t sleep either?

My fingers trembled as I typed back: No.

Adrian: Meet me.

I stared at the screen, heart in my throat. This was the line. If I said yes, there was no going back.

And yet, before I could second-guess myself, I typed: Where?

His reply came fast.

Adrian: The roof. Ten minutes.

I knew it was reckless. I knew Jess would kill me if she found out. But my body was already moving, pulling on a sweatshirt, slipping out of the dorm into the night air.

Because trouble was calling. And I was already answering.