The Girl Who Refused To Break

Chapter 7: Rejection after rejection

I thought the first rejection would be the hardest.

I was wrong.

There were more.

I tried different apps.

Different opportunities.

Different platforms.

Each time, I told myself, Maybe this one will work.

I would read the requirements carefully, prepare my work, and submit it with a little bit of hope.

Then I would wait.

Sometimes the response came quickly.

Sometimes I waited longer.

But the result seemed to remain the same.

Rejected.

Again.

And again.

And again.

After a while, the word started to feel familiar.

Too familiar.

I would open an application and already feel nervous before seeing the result.

Part of me began expecting disappointment.

I hated that feeling.

I didn't want rejection to become something I was used to.

There were moments when I wondered if I was simply not good enough.

Maybe I had chosen the wrong skill.

Maybe I was wasting my time.

Maybe all those success stories I had seen online weren't meant for someone like me.

One evening, I put my phone down and stared at the ceiling.

I felt exhausted.

I had been trying.

That was the part that hurt.

I wasn't sitting around doing nothing.

I was actually making an effort.

Yet nothing seemed to work.

For a few minutes, I allowed myself to feel disappointed.

I didn't pretend I was okay.

I didn't tell myself that rejection didn't hurt.

It did.

But after sitting with that feeling, I picked up my phone again.

I wasn't ready to stop.

I started looking at the applications differently.

Instead of asking, Why do they keep rejecting me?

I started asking, What am I missing?

Maybe my writing needed improvement.

Maybe my applications weren't strong enough.

Maybe I needed more experience.

Maybe I needed to learn something else before expecting anyone to pay me.

Those questions didn't make the rejection disappear.

But they gave me something to work on.

So I kept learning.

I kept practicing.

I tried again.

And when another rejection came, I reminded myself that I was still at the beginning.

Nobody becomes good at something simply because they want it badly.

I had to earn the skill.

I had to make mistakes.

I had to improve.

I had to keep going even when nobody was applauding.

Some nights, I wondered how long it would take.

I wanted money because my situation was real.

My university admission wasn't going to wait forever.

My family couldn't suddenly become financially comfortable.

I wanted to help.

I wanted to contribute.

I wanted to know that I could do something for myself.

But I was beginning to understand that desperation could make you impatient.

And impatience could make you give up too quickly.

So I slowed down.

I stopped looking for a magical opportunity.

I started looking for something I could actually become good at.

That changed the way I approached everything.

A rejection no longer meant, You can't do this.

It became a question.

What can I improve?

I didn't know how many more times I would hear no.

Maybe there would be many.

But I also knew something else.

Eventually, I only needed one yes.

One opportunity.

One person willing to give me a chance.

One door that opened.

Until then, I would keep knocking.

Because I had already come too far to let a few rejection messages decide what my future would look like.

I opened another app.

Started another application.

And tried again.