Aliénor's Song

Discovering Myself

It took a moment for me to discover how to move in this new body. At first, I tried to swim by using my webbed hands to pull myself forward. It worked, but I definitely wasn't getting anywhere fast. There had to be a better way of getting around down here. I my human life I had used my legs, perhaps my tail would be a better way to get where I needed to go.

I looked around and noticed a school of small brightly colored fish in the wreckage around me. They seemed to move by using their tails and bodies. I tried to swish my tail back and forth. I was right, that was certainly more effective than using my hands, but it gave me little control. I nearly swam right into the wall of the old ship. That would have probably hurt.

I looked again at the fish and tried to mimic their movements. It took some time, but soon I discovered that by using my abdomen and strong tail I could cut through the water with ease. With that figured out, I decided to practice swimming in this ancient shipwreck I had found myself in.

It really made me wonder how many people had died in this ocean. There must be other wrecks down here. The men who had crewed this ship had probably not survived. Good. These sailors were likely just as superstitious as the men who had cast me off like garbage.

I wondered briefly if there could be others like me down here. Did the men on this ship send some poor unsuspecting woman to her death too?

I began exploring the wreck around me. When I got to what had to be the captains quarters, I was overcome with rage. I remembered the captain's face on the ship that bore me when he barged into the hold. All I could see in my head was the face of the man who had betrayed me. I could smell his stale breath again. I ripped the sconce from the wall and flung it. The water seemed to offer no resistance as it went straight through the wall on the other end of the room. I was strong. I grabbed the heavy table from where it lay, flipped over, and swung it with all of my might at the wall. It splintered. The bits of wood floated lazily around me in the calm depths of the sea. I grabbed the eyeglass and crushed it, the metal melding to my palm like warm butter. Then I flung it down. I screamed. No sound came out, although I saw the water ripple out from my mouth as if it were being propelled from some underwater musket. The ripple traveled to the far end of the ship and dissipated along the hull.

Angry and broken hearted I flipped my tail fin as hard as I could and swam with alarming speed straight through the side of the rotting ship. I swam until the wreck was simply a long forgotten shadow behind me.

As I swam along the ocean floor for what felt like forever, I noticed most of this new place underwater was beautiful. The bright vibrant colors of the fish and anemones around me were breathtaking, or they would have been, had I been breathing as I had before. I saw great bands on colorful rock growing from the ocean floor like trees. Small colorful fish seemed to dart in and out of the holes. I saw something that looked like the pictures of stars in books I had read as a child. The sea was more beautiful than I had ever imagined. It almost made me angry. How could something so beautiful have taken everything from me?

Thinking of these books made me sad. My father had taught me to read. It wasnt really common for girls to read, but my father had no sons. One day someone would need to take over his business. I missed my father already.

As I sat on the colorful rock, I noticed many of the creatures who shared this place with me gave me a wide berth. It was as if I were some deadly predator they didn't want to cross. Even the animals the were much larger than I didn't want to chance getting close. I was alone here.

I swam along the ocean floor for what had to be several hours. I was alone with my grief. I kept thinking of the promise my husband had made on the ship to keep me safe. He had tried so hard to keep his promise. That made me angry. If he had betrayed his promise to me, he could have lived. Even if I hadn't survived, I wished he had. The world seemed to be a much darker place now that he wasn't in it. I missed him so much.

Not able to withstand the loneliness anymore, I began to swim upward. I needed to see the sun. Within only a few minutes my head broke the surface of the ocean. It was bright. My eyes took a few moments to adjust to the light after being under the water for so long. I began to scan the horizon for the monsters who tried to kill me. There was nothing but an endless expanse of blue in front of me.

I turned to look the other way. There was a ship far off in the distance. I wondered briefly if that could be the ship that I had been on. Enraged, I began to swim for it.