He Will Be Mine (New Horizon Book 1)

The Librarian: Matt

“So, my dad has agreed to back off and let us work on the Elders for now,” Aly tells us once we make it to the rec room after dinner with our parents. “Like Tyler keeps saying, he’s not as bad as he seems at first, and I know that, but this time it just felt like he took it too far.”

“He did,” Tyler agrees. “I mean, I get that there’s a lot of stress and pressure about this whole becoming Alpha thing, and that who you mate with is important, but there’s no excuse for how he treated you or made you feel.”

He pulls her to him and kisses her cheek, leaving his arm draped around her shoulders. I always am a little envious at how easily he does things like that, and how in control he looks doing it. It took me like a year to get that comfortable with Jess, but he’s been like this with Aly since the day he met her.

I’ve been trying, though. I want it to be like that for me, and sometimes it is. Sometimes I have an urge to do something and just do it, and then I get lost in the feel of it and forget to be anxious about it. Sometimes I even kiss her before I know what I’m doing. Those times are the best, and it used to happen pretty much every time she was near enough for me to touch her.

But something seems to have changed for me recently, and now it feels like there's this heavy weight sitting on my chest, overshadowing my every thought and action regarding her and holding me back from being how I want to be with her. Knowing what Aly is to me now, and then this whole thing with the Elders trying to keep her from becoming Alpha just because I've been thrown into the mix ... it's a lot. It makes it feel like I have so much more to prove to her now, and I can't help feeling inadequate, like I'm not enough to make up for the fact that she might lose out on the thing she's been working toward pretty much her whole life. And the more I want to show her that choosing me and Tyler was the right choice and I'll be as good for her as he has been, the harder it seems to be for me to let loose and get lost in our connection the way that I used to.

“I know, and the great thing is that he knows that too,” Aly responds to Tyler, pulling me out of my thoughts and back to the conversation happening in front of me. “He even apologized and used the actual words ‘I’m sorry,’ and he seemed to really mean it. That almost never happens with him. And he explained a lot of where he was coming from. But when it comes down to it, the biggest problem is that he’s a worrier and a control freak, and when he gets worried, he tries to make it feel better by tightening his control. He went too far and he knows it, but at least now he is offering to help.”

“That’s great,” Tyler enthuses. “We’re probably going to need him. I’ve noticed that when he speaks, people shut right up and listen. If anybody can help us do the impossible, it’s him.”

“It’s not impossible,” I cut in, surprising them both. Surprising me a little, too. “It’s not. Even Elder Gerard said so.”

“That’s the spirit. Glad to see you’re on board finally,” Tyler says, and I can’t tell if he’s teasing me or being genuine. Knowing him, he means what he says but is choosing to say it to me teasingly.

“Aly, when you do become Alpha, what will that mean for us?” I ask her, indicating me and Tyler.

It’s something I’ve been worried and wondering about for awhile now but too afraid to ask. I’ve noticed that her mom and dad spend most of the days doing their own things, and I hate that. That’s not how my parents are. Sure, they work all day, but they work together. I don’t like the idea of her off stressing about things all day without us. I also kind of wonder whether we've been wasting time in college if we're just going to come here after we graduate.

“It varies by Alpha couple, and it will be entirely different for us than any Alpha couple I’ve ever known, but essentially there are a lot of duties that are expected of an Alpha’s mate and the rest you create on your own. My mom, for instance, keeps herself very involved with the pack’s children, with helping expecting and new mothers, and with keeping herself available to talk no matter who needs her or what they want to talk about. Beyond that, she is an herbalist.”

“So, what are the actual duties?” Tyler asks. I’m surprised he seems as curious as I am because I thought he already knew all this.

“You’ll have to talk to my mom to be certain. I’ve never been Luna and I only know what I know in passing. I do know that a fair amount of pack management falls on her. She’s responsible for helping my dad decide which positions should go to which members, for planning and coordinating events, and for keeping tabs on people and making sure everyone has what they need.”

“Wait, so, people are assigned jobs here? They can’t just be what they want to be?” Tyler asks. He seems upset, and honestly, that bothers me too.

Aly puts a hand on his leg and rubs it, which seems to relax him some. “No, it’s not like that. It’s more like we want to make sure that if someone is struggling, they get help finding a job or a role. If someone comes to her and specifically requests help figuring out what to do, she can do that too. And if someone has a vague notion of what they want to do but needs help figuring out the steps they need to take to make it happen, she helps in that way as well. But when it comes to the staff here at the packhouse, then yes. She makes those decisions. People can apply to work here, or sometimes they’re assigned here, but she and Henny work out the specifics.”

We both get quiet and just kind of absorb that. She reaches over to take my hand too, and I happily give it to her. I smile to myself remembering when she first started holding my hand and we started calling us “hand-holding friends.”

“So, do we have to learn to be herbalists?” Tyler wonders. I’m pretty sure the answer to that is no.

“No, that’s just what my mom does,” Aly confirms my suspicion. “She will probably continue doing it even after she is no longer Luna. You can decide what special elements you will bring to the role, like your art. That’s something that’s unique about you that no one else is offering to the pack.”

“I’m not sure what good art does for a pack of werewolves,” Tyler teases, but again, I think he means it.

“There’s where you’re wrong. Let me show you something.” Aly stands from the couch and holds out her hands to us.

She leads us through the house to an area at the back that I remember her dad telling me was the library. We enter through the double doors and pause at the desk up front where an elderly woman sits reading a book.

“Closing in ten minutes,” she warns us without even looking up.

“I know, Anna. We won’t be long. Could I have the key to the storage room?” Aly asks her.

“Oh,” Anna seems surprised. “It’s you. I rarely see you these days, so I hadn’t expected that.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m terrible,” Aly says, smiling at Anna as though they’re old friends.

Anna opens a drawer in the desk with a key and pulls out another ring of keys. Then she comes around the desk, holding them out to Aly.

“It will cost you a hug, though,” Anna teases her.

Aly giggles and obliges her, squeezing a little extra before she pulls away.

“Anna, this is Tyler, and this is Matt,” she introduces us. “They’re with me, so be sure and help them if you ever find them wandering around here.”

“I’ll have to check with Alpha Kane to make sure they can have access, but sure. I can do that,” Anna agrees cheerfully. Then her eye catches me and lingers for a few moments longer than I’m comfortable with. “Oh, this one’s cute. If I were just a little bit younger, you’d be in trouble, young man,” she teases me with a wink.

I feel my face flush and don’t really know what to say.

“Oh, quit teasing him, Anna,” Aly chides her, putting her arm around me. “He’s mine anyway.”

“Well, that’s not even a fair fight,” Anna complains, winking at me again.

I am anxious to get away from her. I never know what to do with this kind of attention, but I don’t want to be rude.

“Take your time, Aly, but I’ll be waiting here until you return those keys to me,” Anna says.

“Got it. I suppose we should get to it then, so you're not here waiting for us all night,” Aly answers her.

She turns and heads toward the far wall with us following behind. We haven’t even gotten to another door when she stops and points at the wall.

“You see that painting, Tyler?” she asks him, watching his face for a reaction.

“Yeah, wow,” he responds, taking a step closer to look at it more carefully. “This is incredible. Old, though. The paint is flaking off here,” he points to an area near the bottom corner.

“That’s an artist’s depiction of some battle I can’t remember the name of, but it happened a long time ago. It’s an important part of our history, and here it is on the wall for generation after generation to appreciate. I’d know the name of the battle if it hadn’t rubbed off there,” she indicates the same spot he’s pointing to. “It’s a shame there’s not some gifted artist I know who’s learning all about techniques for restoration and going to be studying under someone who is quite experienced at it …” she trails off at the end, hoping he catches on to what she’s hinting at.

He chuckles, grabbing her around the waist. “Okay, I get it. You could use my skills. Though, I won't really be at that level until after grad school, which I wasn't planning on doing yet. Too expensive.”

“Fair enough, but this is just an example. If you look around, there are lots of bare places on the walls that are meant to hold paintings. Some are claimed, but the paintings are in the back awaiting someone who can restore and protect them so that they can safely be brought back out here. Other spots are just bare, meant for artwork that we don’t have yet. Werewolf artists are rare, and the last one we had died when I was little. He had made it his life’s work to try to bring our history to life. And there’s one more thing I want to show you, which is an unfinished painting of his. I don’t know if it’s something you’d even be interested in, but I think you should see it.”

We follow her back and around the corner to a locked door, which she uses the keys Anna gave her to open. She steps in and turns on the light and seems to be looking for something. Tyler and I look around, seeing all sorts of old books, papers, and vertical stacks of things that look like they could be paintings, but they're hidden beneath dust covers. There are lots of filing cabinets and shelves of miscellaneous objects in here too. Everything seems to be neatly organized and some is even labelled and catalogued.

“Here it is,” Aly exclaims.

She begins carefully lifting the dust cover from a large object that I wouldn’t have guessed was a painting from its size. Tyler goes around to help her, and I just stand back and watch. I can’t ever seem to kick the feeling of being too clumsy and awkward to be trusted in a room like this. It probably comes from when I was a young teenager and really was that clumsy. The habit of just trying to be as still as possible and stay out of the way has stuck with me.

They don’t take the cover all the way off, but it gets pulled back enough that we can see what’s under there. It really is a large painting. It’s beautiful, the parts that are finished anyway.

“Elder Michael was from our pack. He was selected to be an Elder because of his passion for art and history and specifically the way he liked to fuse them together, creating incredible paintings and sculptures that depicted historically accurate moments in time,” Aly begins to explain. “But like I said, he died when I was little. This was the last thing he had been working on, and it was supposed to hang in the main hall of the library where Elder Stirling now lives. It’s where most of werewolf history and important documents are kept. Each pack has their own smaller library, but a lot of what we have here are just copies and replicas of the originals, which are kept there.”

“Do you mean Elder Stirling lives at the library?” Tyler asks. He seems amused at the idea of living there.

“He does,” Aly confirms with a smirk. “He’s the eldest and longest-serving Elder. That role makes him the curator of our history, and he lives in a little apartment attached to the library. It just happens to be in his home pack’s territory, but that isn’t always the case.”

“Oh man, so what you’re saying is that Elder Stirling is the keeper of the stuff we need to go find?” Tyler groans, and I know what he’s thinking. Elder Stirling didn’t seem too pleased with how Aly talked back to them.

“He is for some of it, and that’s exactly why it’s good that my dad is on board now. He thinks he can get us access.”

She steps back and lets Tyler continue looking over the painting. He’s kind of just muttering to himself about it but seems excited.

“So, are you asking me to try to finish this?” he asks finally. “I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with that. This guy was obviously way more talented than I am.”

“Well, I don’t think that part is true,” Aly argues, shaking her head at him, “but no, that’s not what I’m asking. I’m not even sure if you’d be allowed to do something like that, at least not until people get to know you and your skills a little better. I’m not actually asking or suggesting anything, not even the part about the restoration, which would probably also need approval. I’m just showing it to you, hoping maybe it will inspire you to see how an artist can fit in here. You can make your own path, Tyler, and whatever you come up with, we’ll find a way to make it fit.”

She’s talking to Tyler because he’s the outspoken one asking all the questions, but I know what she is saying is meant for me too. She’s basically saying that as long as we get our work done for the pack, we can figure out whatever else we want to do in whatever way we want to do it. There’s probably a werewolf school or something like that where I can teach. I mean, Aly grew up here and she’s one of the smartest people I know.

Tyler starts gently lowering the dust cover back over the painting. He’s treating it very preciously, and I can tell that pleases Aly.

“I wish I could have met Elder Michael,” he says once he’s finished. “Art and history are two of my favorite things, too. I bet we would have had a lot to talk about.”

“I agree, though I barely remember him,” Aly tells him. “But that’s why his paintings were the first thing I thought of when you said you didn’t think art does us any good. It does, and I miss having it around here. I think your skills will be well appreciated, even if you end up not being anything like Elder Michael as an artist.”

After they put everything back how they found it and Aly locks the door again, we start making our way out of the library.

“You should take this back to Anna,” she tells me with a smirk and a devilish twinkle in her eyes, holding the keyring out to me.

“Are you saying you enjoyed that?” I ask, already getting uncomfortable just thinking about how Anna was flirting with me.

“I did. She’s harmless, promise. Come on, make her night.” She steps closer to me, reaching up to grab my neck and lower my head down so she can whisper seductively in my ear, “I’ll make it worth your while.”

Damn this woman for knowing exactly what she does to me. I don’t know why she’s choosing to use her feminine wiles right now, just so Anna can ogle me some more, but I suppose I don’t care. I’m powerless to resist her and she knows it.

I groan, taking the keys from her. “You owe me.”

“I know,” she giggles, and I hear Tyler snickering behind me too as I make my way to Anna’s desk.

“Well hello, handsome,” Anna greets me.

I’m sure I say something awkward and stupid in response as she takes the keys from me. I can feel the heat in my face, and I know Anna is probably enjoying that. But I survive it, and I have to kind of agree with Aly when I see the big smile Anna is giving me. She seemed gloomy when we came in, but now she looks radiant and happy.

“You kids have a good night, and thanks for coming to visit,” Anna tells us on our way out.

I pause for a second, knowing that I’m free and clear and should just take my exit, but my heart strings get the better of me. I turn back and surprise Anna with a hug as she is locking up her desk.

“You have a good night too, Anna,” I tell her. Then my momentary burst of boldness fades and I hurry after Aly and Tyler.

Considering that it is getting late and, despite it being New Year’s Eve tomorrow, we will have to get up before dawn, we decide to skip the movie we had planned to watch in the rec room and head to Aly’s room instead. Tyler gathers up his things to head to the shower, but to my surprise, Aly stays with me. Usually, the two of them shower together, so this is new.

“You’re not going with him?” I can’t help asking.

“Nope,” she tells me with a grin. “I told you I’d reward you for making Anna smile, and you went a bit above and beyond, so I decided your reward should too.”

My heart is racing because I know we’re talking about something sexy. I figured by “reward” she meant some groping and making out, but I’m not entirely following.

“What sort of reward?”

She has gotten close enough that I could just reach out and grab her if I want, but she takes advantage of my hesitation and makes the first move, winding her arms around my neck and tilting her face up to mine to kiss me. I relax as the familiar warmth of her rushes over me and put my hands on her hips to pull her closer.

What I love about touching and kissing her is that my body just sort of takes over and I don’t really think about it. I don’t think about plunging my tongue into her mouth so that I can taste her, I just do it because I want to. It never crosses my mind to grab a handful of her hair, but it feels right so I do it. Making physical contact with her seems to be the only thing that can override all my insecurities and anxious thoughts about not being good enough for her, and I'm always glad when she gets me going like this and helps me leave it all behind.

I’m on my back on the bed before I realize and she’s on top of me, pulling off her shirt and attacking my mouth and my neck like I’m her next meal. My hands take on a mind of their own and I find myself reaching around to unclasp her bra.

“Shower … with you …” she manages to say between the kisses she’s trailing down my neck.

“What?” My head is so hazy I can’t make sense of what she’s telling me.

She pulls away to smirk down at me and I realize she is in the process of taking my shirt off. “Your reward. I want to shower with you this time,” she explains as if it’s no big deal.

But it is a big deal. I’ve been getting more comfortable with her, and sometimes I get pretty bold about touching or kissing her, but it’s usually when Tyler is here taking the lead. Getting naked, though, is not something I'm all that comfortable with, especially not considering what she must be used to from growing up here and being with Tyler the past few months. I don’t even like taking my shirt off when she can see, though it has happened.

I don’t think I could handle standing there naked and exposed to her, at least not yet, and I don’t think I’d be confident enough to make love to her the way she is used to. I’ve seen how Tyler does it, and I'm not there yet. I got there, eventually, with Jess, but this is all new. This is Aly. And even with Jess, I preferred to be lying down, in the dark or under the covers, and focusing more on her. Showering together was never a thing for us.

Aly must sense my hesitation because her face shifts from tempting and teasing to concerned and she lets go of my shirt. “Would that be okay with you? I’m sorry, I should have asked first.”

“I uh … I don’t know. I’m not super comfortable with being naked,” I admit to her sheepishly. I know I’m blushing, and my body is tensing just thinking about it, though I’m trying to keep my cool.

“We don’t have to. I just thought you might like to. Sometimes, I feel like I give too much attention to Tyler and not enough to you, and you and I have never done that before, so I thought it would be fun to change it up.”

“I don’t mind,” I tell her, then realize she might misunderstand what I mean. “The attention you give to Tyler, I mean. I don’t mind. I take longer to warm up, and I like watching how it is between you. Sometimes I even get brave enough to join in. It’s easier for me when he’s making the moves and I’m just following along.”

“Well, then maybe we should all be showering together,” she suggests. “My shower here is big enough at least. Back at your apartment, not so much.”

She laughs, and my finger seems to automatically be drawn to the little dimple that pops out sometimes when she laughs. I trace the curve of her cheek with my finger, and then slide it down to touch her lips. She kisses the tip of my finger and then slides it into her mouth seductively, deliberately going slow and maintaining eye contact with me.

I shudder, excitement coursing through me.

“Okay,” I try to say, but it comes out kind of croaky and weird. “Okay,” I try again, “I changed my mind about that shower.”

The satisfied smirk she gives me tells me I’ve fallen right into her trap, but I’m not sorry.