He Will Be Mine (New Horizon Book 1)

Can't Stay Away

Tyler

After two weeks of basically avoiding Aly, I finally can’t take it anymore. I’ve been sulking, pouting, thinking, arguing with myself, working out twice as much as usual (avoiding my normal times, in case Aly is there and so I don’t have to deal with the looks my friends give me), and quite frankly, eating more cafeteria desserts than anyone should. I think I figured it out, though.

I love Aly, that’s all there is to it, and though I want a relationship with her, more than that I just want her. I’ll take what I can get. I’ve tried to talk myself out of it because it seems like such a hopeless, lovesick puppy thing to do, but there’s no way around the fact that I’m happier when I’m around her. If it has to be just as friends, then I’ll settle for that. I don’t want to get in the way of her being able to be with Matt if that’s what she really wants. I also need to go to her and talk about all the things I don’t know about her being a werewolf and her mate thing. I promised her I’d be back, so that’s it, I’m back.

I wake up with this epiphany on a Wednesday morning, which is unfortunate because we’re both kind of busy on Wednesdays. I decide to send her a text instead to let her know I want to talk and that I would like us both to go to our normal workout time and place tomorrow morning.

I’m so glad to hear from you, Ty, she responds, and I can’t help but smile. It didn’t even take her three seconds to send that back to me. She does care.

We make plans over text to have our normal workout in the morning and get together to talk after classes. Just knowing that I’ll be seeing her tomorrow seems to put a little extra pep in my step. For the first time in weeks, I’m back to my normal self, it feels like, even singing and whistling while I shower and get ready for class.

Trevor is in the living room when I come out and he’s grinning at me like the weirdo he is.

“He’s back!” he announces in a stupid sing-song voice, but I know he is just glad his friend is back to normal so it doesn’t even annoy me. This time.

“Did you make up with Aly, I take it?” he asks. “She coming to the party this weekend?”

“First off, I haven’t been paying attention to your party schedule so no, I haven’t even invited her.” This dude loves to party way too much, though I suppose I can’t blame him. He’s into some high-level academic stuff that probably gets pretty stressful. “And secondly, who said Aly and I were fighting?”

“Well, nobody, but she hasn’t been around in awhile and you’ve been all mopey, so it’s not hard to put two and two together. Plus, last time I saw her she came charging out of your room and just left without saying goodbye or anything, so I figured there was a fight.”

“Fair enough. Well, we didn’t fight, but we had a serious talk about where things with us were going, and I asked for time to think. So, in a way, we ‘made up’ because I decided that I still want to hang out with her, even if we’re not, like, together. So yeah, we’re going to hang out tomorrow.”

“Just make sure you remind her that we scheduled lab time tomorrow after class, so it will have to be after that,” Matt interjects. I hadn’t even noticed him sitting over there he was so quiet. “There’s not a lot of times left on the schedule so we can’t put it off.”

Leave it to him to burst my happy little bubble. It kind of bothers me that he gets her before me, because isn’t that the whole problem here? But then I remember that technically I get her before and after him because of our morning workout, and I feel a little better.

“Yeah, sure. She didn’t give me a specific time or anything, just said after she’s done with classes. I’ll remind her, though. I’m sure she won’t miss your precious lab time.”

That last part came out sounding a little more bitter than I intended, and I notice that both Matt and Trevor look at me funny. Whatever, I don’t even care. I’m off to meet Izzy, and we’ve been working on a pretty exciting part of my final project, so I need to focus on that.

-

-

Matt

“Well, that was interesting,” Trevor comments after Tyler leaves for class. “And so weird that they’re not going to be together anymore. Never would have seen that coming. They’re pretty perfect for each other.”

That stings a little, though I can’t say that I disagree. Aly’s weird and Tyler’s weird do seem to work well together.

“Aly’s the girl,” I find myself confessing to my best friend.

I don’t actually know what has been going on between Aly and Tyler or know for sure that it has anything to do with me, but I suspect that it does. She and Tyler have both been a little off lately, though Aly has been really chummy with me in our classes together and other brief little chances we’ve had to hang out here and there.

I still haven’t talked to Jess, and the closer I find myself getting to Aly, the more appealing it is to put it off. As long as Jess and I are good, then there’s no wiggle room for me to give in to temptation and end up with Aly before I’ve fully sorted out whether I am still on board with marrying Jess. I’ve been thinking about it, I just haven’t told either of them exactly how unsure I am.

“The girl?” Trevor asks, seeming confused. “Oh, the one you kissed.”

He smirks at me as he puts it together. I can’t tell if it’s because he’s amused, impressed, or thinks I’m ridiculous. Probably all the above.

“Yeah. It was her. We’re just friends, but we both still have feelings, and it’s been really hard with her right here and around all the time for me to deny that. I have to wonder if that has anything to do with the break she and Tyler have been on.”

“Do you think he knows?”

“I would guess he does, judging by how he doesn’t seem too happy that I’ll be spending time with her tomorrow.”

“Honestly, Matt, that was such an asshole move on your part to throw that in there just as he’s all happy to be hanging out with her again. You could have just texted her.”

“I know. I feel bad. I couldn’t seem to help myself, though. I don’t like the idea that she’s going to try to rush through time with me just so she can run off with him.”

“You have Jess, let me remind you. Does she know about all this?” His eyes widen with realization and then he adds, “Oh man, that whole thing with how Jess always acts when Aly’s around makes so much sense now.”

“Yeah, and no I haven’t told her, but she seemed to sense that Aly is special to me as soon as she met her.”

“How do you even know her?”

“She’s the girl.”

“I know, you said that. But you said you kissed her because you guys go way back or whatever. How had I never met her before this summer?”

“She’s the girl. The one from my parents’ anniversary trip.”

I know he knows which one I am talking about. He was my best friend then, too, and I came home from the trip and told him about her. He thought I was nuts but helped me fantasize about ways I could go back and find her, nonetheless. He’s always been a good friend like that.

“Oh man. For real? I’m so dense. How did I not put that together? I should have realized that instantly because of how close her house is to that place. But she’s so different from the girls you usually go for that I hadn’t even considered it. That’s so crazy, man.”

“I honestly thought you knew because of how you always stick up for her when Jess starts ranting about her. I figured it was because you know I like her so much.”

“That’s a huge ego you have there, man. No, I do that because I like Aly. She’s super cool. Mer likes her, too, and neither of us can stand the way Jess gets on her for nothing, or how she can’t stop herself from ranting when she’s not even here. It’s driving a huge wedge in their relationship, too, because Mer says she didn’t even know Jess was this bad and she doesn’t really want to be friends with someone like that. It makes more sense now, but still. You have to get a handle on your women situation, Matthew. It isn’t going to just go away on its own.”

“I know. It’s driving a huge wedge in my relationship with Jess, too. It’s beginning to feel like all we like to do together anymore is have s*x, and other than that, she’s just turned into this mean, selfish person I don’t even recognize sometimes.”

“It’s partly your fault, though. If you want Jess, make sure she knows that.”

“I don’t even know that, though.”

His face shifts from his almost permanently amused face to one filled with concern and understanding. “Oh man, you are really in it. Come here.”

He reaches out for me and pulls me in for a hug. I can’t even call it a bro hug because it’s not. We’re too comfortable with each other to care what anyone thinks of us embracing, and he knows me too well. I’m sure he can see that this all tears me up, and now hearing that it’s affecting Meredith, I feel so much worse. I know I need to get a handle on it, and now.

“I love you no matter who you choose, man, you have to know that,” he assures me as he smacks his lips on my forehead for a noisy kiss. “It will get messy if you choose Aly, though. Tyler is going to fall apart.”

I sigh, dread for the things I know I have to do and the ways I know things will change washing over me and making my shoulders slump. “I know. I hate that. I don’t want to hurt him.”

He pulls away from me, and his eyes dart over to the clock on the entertainment center. “You got to get to class, though. It’s ten after.”

I panic as I realize he is right. My class started ten minutes ago. I hurry and collect my stuff and shove it into my backpack, grabbing my coat as I dash out the door.

-

-

Aly

Matt is always a little lackadaisical about class start times, but today he shows up late even for him. My first thought about that is that my dad will hate that about him. He insists on punctuality and takes it as a personal insult when anyone is late to a meeting or obligation.

Matt finally sneaks in about 25 minutes into our psych class and drops into the seat beside me. I hand him the papers I took on his behalf when the professor was handing them around the room. He squeezes my hand, which I take as a thank you, but we don’t actually get a chance to talk until after class lets out.

Once it does, he grabs my hand again to stop me from leaving. “I need to talk to you, someplace private,” he informs me. “And I want to put it out there ahead of time that I really need for this talk to not get, uh, intimate, in any way. It’s important.”

“Okay,” I agree without question.

I’m nervous about what he might have to say to me, but I can also sense that he really needs to get whatever it is off his chest. I hope this isn’t the part where he tells me that he chooses Jessica, for real this time, and wants me to back off because he isn’t interested in me at all. On the other hand, I do hope that he has finally figured things out, because I need to know where we stand. If we’re never going to happen, I’d rather know that now and move on. Ugh, I hate even thinking that, though.

“Let’s go to the nature park then, even if we just stay in the car,” I suggest.  

It’s kind of become our spot. We’ve been meeting there once or twice a week the past couple weeks to walk together and just talk. He made the rule of no talking about Jess or anything like that because he isn’t ready to discuss it, and that has made it easier for us to hang out. We basically pretend that his relationship doesn’t even exist and just enjoy getting to know each other.

We walk together across campus back to the parking lot by my dorm and head for my car. We both toss our backpacks in the back, and I notice that they look kind of similar. His is green and mine is navy blue, but they’re the same brand and style. Yet another thing we have in common.

“Do we have to wait to talk until we get there, or can we chat now?” I ask after we've been driving for a few minutes, dying to know what is on his mind.

Whatever it is seems to make him tense and quiet, and it is so unlike the way he has been with me lately that it is making me anxious. He needs to just rip the bandage off already.

“Uh, sure,” he replies uncertainly. “I guess I could start talking now. It sucks, though, because I hate doing stuff like this, but uh, I just need to say something and get it out there.”

“Okay, I’m listening. I promise not to get mad or judgemental,” I say, trying to make it sound supportive.

“Thanks,” he responds, looking over at me with a warm smile. Then he turns and looks out the windshield again. “So, I’ve been thinking a lot about stuff and trying to figure out what to do, and I think what I actually need is space. I need to figure out who I am and try to remember what it was like before it got like this, where literally every decision I make I have to sit and consider if my fiancée is going to be mad, or if it’s going to hurt your feelings, or if it’s something an almost married man should even be doing.”

“You’re looking to get back in touch with yourself, basically,” I conclude.

I actually get what he is saying. I’ve been thinking a lot about stuff like that lately, too. Who even was I before I found my mate, and has having one changed me? Is that why I’m so torn and lost all the time?

“Exactly,” he agrees, giving me another warm smile. I can just feel how much he appreciates that I understand.

“So, tell me what you need from me to help you with that.”

He looks over at me again, looking a little uncomfortable. I pull into the lot at the nature park and take a few moments to park the car. He doesn’t answer me until I turn the car off and turn to him, giving him my full attention.

He takes a breath and focuses his gaze on my hand, it seems like. “I need to have a conversation like this with Jess. I don’t know how it will go, but I’m hoping she will agree to take a break and push pause on the wedding plans. I have a feeling, though, that she is going to explode, and we might end up breaking up. I don’t know, and it’s scary but I’ve decided that it’s time that I step back and figure myself out.”

I silently celebrate and do my best to keep my joy off my face. “I think that’s a good idea, Matt. I detect a hint of my mom in there, but I like it. I can even relate to it.”

He smirks, and I take that as confirmation that my mom was involved in him coming to this decision. Then his face turns serious again as he asks, “With the whole thing with Tyler?”

“Yeah, we’ve been doing something similar.”

“Has it helped?”

“Some, yeah. I have had time to think on a few things. We’re getting together to talk some more tomorrow, though.”

“So I’ve heard." He purses his lips together, then lifts a hand to do that nervous scratching the back of his neck thing he does before asking, "Think you’ll be getting back together?”

“I don’t know," I tell him honestly. "Probably not. I hope we can start hanging out again, but I think the whole 'kind of together' thing was too much. But I don’t know, we’ll see.”

“I think maybe you do get it then, what I’m going to ask. What I need from you is just to give me space for now, even if it seems like I’m single or available after I talk to Jess. I don’t want to be, not yet. So, I’m making it known right now when I’m thinking clearly that even though I lose control sometimes and can’t seem to resist touching or kissing you, it’s not what I want for now. I want to push pause with you, too, but I also want to still be friends. I don’t want things getting weird between us. I guess what I’m saying is I just need your patience.”

I chew that over for a minute, watching him chew his nails and squirm in the seat waiting to hear what I will say.

Finally, I tell him, “I think I can do that, Matt. I do want you, but I want you when you know for sure that you want me, too. I don’t want to force you into anything, and I definitely don’t want to be just the girl you use to get over Jess. So, if I understand you correctly that you still want to hang out, but just want me to back off with the flirting and touchy-feely stuff, then yes, I can do that.”

He exhales in relief and smiles gratefully. “Thank you, Aly. And I kind of figured that if I just told it to you straight up, then you would get it. You don’t know how much I appreciate that, or how much I care about you.”

“I care about you, too, Matt. That’s why I don’t have a problem with it if this is what you need.”

“And Aly?" he asks, then pauses, exhaling a breath and looking uncertain.

I wait patiently until finally he continues his thought. "If you want Tyler, don’t let me get in the way of that. I need to sort things out with Jess, with or without you. Don’t feel obligated to wait around for me.”

Mari’s argument that Matt would not feel so uncertain about me if he knew that I’m bonded to him in a way that will never let me let him go comes to mind. I am really tempted to try to probe a little to see how he might take the news that I’m a werewolf and he is my mate. It’s just scary because even as a human, he can reject me, and if I don’t wait to tell him until he is ready, it could all be over in an instant.

“I get what you’re saying, Matt, but you’re a hard one to just let go. Especially since it seems like you’re making progress in figuring out what you really want. So, I’ll be here, however you want me.”