Rewrite

Chapter I - First Run

First Run.

My kids are the only right thing in this world. I swore I'd do everything for them. But sh*t. I am sh*t. I wasted my youth and my children would have to suffer for all my mistakes. I've been doing my best, trying to make ends meet. But today... Today I got fired. How can I face them when I get home? I can't. So I walk. I've been walking aimlessly for three hours now. I don't really know where I am right now. I just know I've been walking opposite of my route home.

My beautiful Lumine and Remnant. I can picture them playing with their grandma at this moment. Tears start to fall from my eyes. I have only enough money to last us until Friday. Ugh, I would need to pummel through my shame again. Borrow money, while swallowing the judgment of my past. I slump under the shade of a tree on a street named Pag-asa. The irony. Or should I take it as a sign that there is hope? But as always I just go through all my what ifs. What if I just stayed put? What if I finished college? What if I went out with Stephen instead of Paul? What if we didn't get married? What if I didn't catch him cheating? What if we didn't have a baby? But I had to stop there. No. I wouldn't have it any other way with my kids. Am I being selfish? Maybe I am. One should only have children if they can sufficiently provide and care for them. In my present state, I'm not capable of that. The hoops I had to jump just to get this job. And now it's all gone. With my record, who would even hire me? Pag-asa, f*ck you street.

As fate would have it, it started to rain. The cliche of cliches. Wet and drenched in my hopelessness. Right. I stand up. It's getting late. I'm already wet anyway, time to go home.

I cross the street and observe the cars heading where I came from. There's no public transport passing this way. Great, more walking. I look at my watch, it's still just 4:00 PM but it's getting dark. I speed up my pace. Lightning. Then the boom of thunder. Wow, that's pretty close. And again, a flash. I count one, two, boom. I start to run. That deafening roar frightened me.

I see white.