Between two kops

Chapter one

Steven

"Steven, how many times have I warned you?" the physics teacher called out, her voice laced with concern. Her tone was soft, yet packed with a strictness that allowed no backtalk.

I stared through the dirty windowpane at the gray, gloomy sky threatening rain. Her hands gently wiped the blood from my split lip, the cold metal of her engagement ring brushing against my cheek and making me flinch. I caught the scent of her perfume mixed with the sharp tang of iodine, a weird blend of high school and hospital.

Ms. Dragana Tadić was one of the few people who actually treated me like a human being, maybe even like her own kid. I never understood why she tried so hard with me and my constant craziness. I guess she thought that under all these layers of rage, there was still something left worth saving.

"What are we going to do now, huh? You're risking another drop in your conduct grade. Why did you get into a fight, Steven?"

Her words echoed in my head, but there wasn't a single shred of guilt in me. He attacked me first, didn't he? Why am I always the problem? I was just standing up for who I am. Everyone saw it, but nobody dared to say it out loud. At least that's what I kept telling myself while my pulse throbbed in my cheekbone.

"I'm fine, Ms. Tadić," I muttered, making sure not to move my lip too much.

It stung instantly. I didn't ask her to be my doctor. I've seen worse wounds than this little cut. It's not as bad as it looks on the outside. Not the first time, nor the last... I thought to myself. I've been in way worse situations. The kind where iodine isn't used and blood doesn't get wiped away with tissues.

"Are you going to tell me the truth?" She stood right in front of me, fixing me with that sharp glare that cut through all excuses before I could even formulate them.

"I was defending myself... This time I really didn't start it." My voice sounded completely hollow. I knew she didn't believe me. I'd lied to her way too many times for her to take my word for it now when it actually mattered.

"You know the whole class will testify in his favor, right?"

"I know. I'm well aware I'm screwed, Ms. Tadić. You don't have to spell it out for me." I said it honestly, feeling my stomach twist. Most of them side with Ilija. He's got backing, he's got status. Enough to make me the fall guy for this bullshit. The principal has hated my guts since day one. He's just waiting for a reason to throw something in my face.

"Grit your teeth," she said, opening a bottle of yellow liquid. The stuff that burns worse than the hit itself.

A strand of light blonde hair fell across her face as she leaned toward me. She brushed it away nervously with her fingers, leaving a dark smudge of iodine on her own skin. That small awkwardness, that tiny mark on her face because of me, made me forget about the pain for a second.

She poured a few drops onto a cotton ball and gently pressed it against my split lip. It hurt, burned like hell, not gonna lie. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms, and stayed silent. I wasn't about to make a sound. In front of her, I had to stay tough, even while the pain was eating my face up.

"There, all done. Just be careful when you eat so you don't start it bleeding again," she said, pulling back.

She crumpled up the bloody cotton ball and tissues and tossed them into the trash can by my feet. In that brief look she gave me, you could see genuine, almost motherly concern. The kind I never got under my own roof. That silence between us was heavier than any threat.

The strand of hair slipped down her cheek again as she snapped the metal first aid box shut. The sound echoed through the room like the end of a round.

"Tadić?" I called out, my voice sounding a bit deeper.

"Yes, Steven?" She turned around, her warm, brown eyes becoming guarded for a second, as if consciously expecting another stupid comment.

"Because of me, you missed class... again."

She offered a faint smile. The kind you give someone you can't help but care about, even though you know they're a walking disaster. "Since when are we on a first name basis?"

I shrugged, that childish gesture that covers up everything I actually feel. "Can I at least take you out for coffee?" I stood up from the chair and faced her, trying to look more serious than I was, even though she was a head taller than me.

"Thank you for such a lovely offer," she kept her smile intact. "But I'll have to decline. Sit down, Steven."

With a wave of her finger, she signaled for me to get back in my seat and shut up. I sat down without a word, but I noticed her smile lingered a second longer than it should have.

And then the door burst open. No knock. Just like a police raid.

My eyes snapped right to them. s**t. My smile vanished faster than it had arrived. Principal Miller Sekulić walked in, side by side with my mother. Of course they were together. Like they couldn't wait for this exact moment.

Without saying a word, he walked past me and Ms. Tadić, let out a quiet sigh, and sat down in his comfortable armchair. That sigh of his... it's always the same. As if I'd just ruined his entire life.

His hair was perfectly styled, and his face was tense, like he had just stepped out of hell. He was wearing a black blazer and an older style white shirt, crisp and well ironed.

My dear mother stood right in front of me. She didn't yell. That was the worst part. When she's quiet, that's when I know s**t's gonna hit the fan later. Her sharp look sliced right through me. I could see her cheeks twitching with nerves. She was pissed. Who knows what he fed her on the way here.

Ms. Dragana Tadić packed up her things. She passed by me and whispered softly, just enough to catch my ear. "I can't help you anymore."

I know. You've already done too much. Enough is enough, man.

She walked out, and the door closed slowly, like the gates of freedom shutting. I was left alone against the two of them. Old lineup, familiar script. I've been used to this matchup since middle school.

"Steven, Steven... I just can't with you anymore," the principal spoke up, adjusting his glasses. "You're impossible, for God's sake."

He sat at his desk, buried under stacks of paperwork and grade books. He didn't even look up at me. He just kept shuffling the pile as if searching for the sentence he'd prepared for me a long time ago.

I let out a short, dry laugh. I knew the verdict was already sitting somewhere in that pile, typed up and ready. He was just savoring the moment before delivering it in front of my dear mother.

My mother started pacing around the office like a caged animal. A tiny room, and her rage was way too big for it. Her face was flushed, her eyes filled with that crazy glint I saw every time she and my dad went at it at home. Looking at her, all I saw was irritation that she had to leave work, not actual concern for me.

"Now go on and explain nicely to your mother what you did this morning, Steven," the principal said. He gave a sly, victorious smirk, devil of a man. He was loving every second of my misery.

Of course. Like I'm still in middle school.

"Why don't you ask Ilija what he did?" I countered immediately, without taking my eyes off him.

"Ilija?" He raised an eyebrow, his face taking on that look of fake pity. "Steven, do you realize this is your seventh fight this month? High school isn't a fighting ring, and for God's sake, it's not a stadium either."

Seventh. Sounds nice when said out loud. Almost like some bizarre stat worth keeping track of. I admit, in the previous ones, I was usually the one looking for trouble, but now... this time was different.

"What was I supposed to do? Let him beat me up in front of everyone? I don't get it. I was just defending myself, for f**k's sake!"

"Steven! Do not swear in front of the principal!" my mother shrieked. Her voice snapped suddenly, as if she had just been waiting for the right moment to explode.

Of course. A curse word and her damaged reputation are the problem. Not the fact that my head is pounding. She didn't even ask if I was okay, how my lip was, or if anything hurt. No, she didn't give a damn about me. All she cared about was what the neighbors and teachers would think of us. More precisely, of her.

I felt my blood pressure rising, that familiar hot wave surging straight to my head. Blood thudded in my temples like a drum in the North Stand. Is it really that hard for parents to understand one simple thing. That I was just defending myself? Ilija Nestorović started it, everyone saw it, but nobody's gonna say a damn word about it. Fear works miracles, and it's an easy path to injustice.

Principal Miller Sekulić slowly closed the folder. The sound of plastic hitting paper echoed through the office like a guillotine. That was it. My death sentence, wrapped up in a single boring bureaucratic move.

"Listen here..." He paused and looked me right in the eye.

"I can't tolerate you anymore. You've crossed every line." His voice was eerily calm, which was worse than any threat. That feeling when you know your opponent has won and there's absolutely nothing you can do to flip the score.

"I'm going to have to expel you. Enough is enough. You will be transferred to the Economics High School, to my old friend's place."

He slid the paper across the desk, right in front of my mother. Sitting on the desk was the transfer order, or more accurately, my conviction. That was my breaking point. Nobody asked if I wanted to go. Nobody consulted me. He had this all mapped out beforehand, packing my expulsion behind my back while I was still believing in some kind of justice.

"You're expelling me over a stupid fight? One that, by the way, isn't even my fault, but Ilija's?" I asked sarcastically. They're kissing his ass, while they wipe me away like a stain off the table.

"You didn't leave me another option. If you blow this chance too, you can say goodbye to your diploma and graduation."

Mother snatched that paper like it was a winning million dollar lottery ticket. The look she shot me was laced with poison meant just for me.

"Do you hear what the principal is telling you? I would throw you straight out onto the street, and he's actually giving you another chance! Thank the principal right now!"

"Yeah, right..." I rolled my eyes. All that's left is to kiss his ring for kicking me out of school.

"Watch your mouth, Steven!" she barked, stepping toward me, ready to slap the face off me right in front of him.

What kind of mother steps on her own son over a few unproven accusations from a total stranger? She didn't even care to hear my side. The actual truth...

"There's no need for that, Ms. Stajić," the principal said calmly. "Let's just make sure his departure goes smoothly."

He stood up from his leather armchair and pointed out to my mom where to leave her mark. "Just sign right here to show your agreement. Here, take my pen." Without a second thought, my mother took his fancy pen and signed away my fate.

The principal tented his fingers and calmly watched the scene, soaking in the show he had directed himself. That winning attitude of his ate away at me more than my mother's disappointment. He got rid of me with a single move, like tossing trash out of his office, while my dear mother was holding the bin for him. What an asshole, man, I couldn't believe it.

Mom doesn't get that he humiliated us way more than he supposedly "helped"...

"That will be all. You're free to go. Steven, you don't need to return to the rest of your classes," was the last thing that came out of his crooked mouth.

Mother grabbed her purse, then hit me with that look. The one that meant the car was the only place where no one would hear her rip into me.

"Come on, get outside. You're grounded until further notice, Steven," she muttered through her teeth.

I headed for the exit, but paused right on the threshold. I turned back and took one last look at him. He was already back to his computer, as if nothing had happened a moment ago. As if I had never sat in that chair. As if I had never existed at all.

The office door slammed shut with a dull thud that echoed through the empty hallway. Classes were well underway. I walked slowly while my mother marched ahead of me, mumbling curses under her breath.

"Steven? What happened?" a familiar voice called from behind me. It was Ms. Tradić.

"Well, Ms. Tadić, looks like we won't be hanging out anymore," I cracked my signature bitter smile. I felt the cut on my lip pull tight again.

"What do you mean?" She looked at me, confused.

Obviously, she wasn't part of the principal's inner circle, so she had no idea about his plans for me.

"I got expelled... f**k it." The word hovered in the hallway, heavy and dirty. I tried to hide what I was really feeling, but the mask was cracking.

That fake smile was my only defense. And then my mother yanked me roughly by the shoulder. "Get in the car! Right now!"

I didn't have the energy left to fight. So I just obeyed and walked out without another word.

The teacher remained standing in the middle of the hallway, motionless, as our footsteps receded and faded into the silence. I didn't turn around. I didn't know if I was finally leaving one hell for another, or if I was actually running away from the last place where someone had at least tried to understand me.

One thing I knew for sure. This was the last time I ever spoke to or saw Dragana Tadić, my physics teacher.