Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 5

As Sabrina changed into a denim jumpsuit with a long sleeved shirt underneath and some running shoes; she wondered if she would survive their outing.

Especially because she could already sense the panic attack building within her, right from her toes.

"You ready, soldier?" Edward asked, with a soft knock on her bedroom door.

"Aye captain." She responded, for his case - with a bit more zeal than she actually felt. Then opened the door and walked out.

"This is exciting," he stated with a grin.

"Putting ourselves at risk?" Her tone was laced with sarcasm.

"No, silly." He led the way to the living room. "Living on the edge," he playfully jumped. "I love intrigue and danger."

"Well, I don't." She told him with a straight face as she folded the piece of paper, that had on her list of items to purchase.

"I can tell," he muttered as he threw himself onto the couch.

"For someone who is so eager to go out there and get themselves killed, you sure don't act like it." She pointedly said, referring to his brief relaxing moment.

She was fully aware of the fact that she had switched back to being mean to him.

But she couldn't help it.

Her nerves were raw.

His nonchalant behavior wasn't helping things one bit.

And the only goal she fixated on in that moment, was getting to the stores and returning in one piece.

She could play nice later, she decided.

"I see you don't waste any time," he teased as he jumped to his feet.

Without taking any of her commentary seriously.

"What would be the point in that?" She hid a smile from him as she turned towards the door.

"Your car or mine?" She asked, as she hesitated just before opening the door.

Her car keys were hanging just above her head.

And seeing them there instantly made her feel like she would feel so much better if someone else did the driving today.

She already had a lot of frustrations on her plate as is, and therefore didn't want the responsibility of obeying traffic laws and keeping the next person alive.

"I don't have a car," he shrugged.

"What kind of person your age doesn't have a freaking-" she sighed heavily before she could even bring herself to finish the sentence.

"You know what? Never mind, I'll drive."

She grabbed the car keys and led the way out.

Their short drive to the mall was quiet.

She silently wondered what was going on in his mind.

Was he upset about her little outburst and attitude over the car thing? She asked herself. She was still stressing about the sudden lockdown and the unknown villainous virus that had held the whole world hostage within minutes.

But above that, she was surprised to find herself worrying about what impressions he had already concluded about her.

In his head; he might already be seeing her as the crazy lady with tornadic mood swings, that he was going to be stuck with for however long their situation took.

"You have a very loud mind," he playfully noted when she parked the car in the lot.

"What do you mean?" She frowned and killed the engine. All the while pretending to be concentrating on what was happening at the entrance of the mall.

Where a number of people who looked like doctors in hospital scrubs, readying themselves for surgery- were entering.

"I mean I can tell from way over here on my passenger side that you are worrying about something," he stated matter of factly.

"Oh yeah?" She adjusted her mask.

It was already covering her mouth and nose properly, but what's a girl to do when a hot stranger calls her out on all the worrying she had been doing about him?

Other than rearrange things that are already in the right place, of course?

"Yep," he nodded.

And remained seated.

Probably waiting for her to make the first move out of the car, as soon as she got comfortable enough to do so.

"You want to share?" He hesitantly asked.

"No," she took a deep breath in attempts to calm her nervous system and climbed out of the car.

"Oh, come on." He followed suit. "It will make our task less daunting." He urged.

She thought about it for a minute or so as they walked, then rolled her eyes heavenward.

"Fine," she gave in.

Feeling like he had a point. Concentrating on a conversation would temporarily divert their attention and worries.

Even if only for a little while.

"I was wondering what your first impression of me was." As soon as she said it, she immediately wished the floor would open up and swallow her.

Because she thought thinking about or even worrying about that in a middle of such a huge world crisis, was just plain conceited. Right?

"I've been thinking about the same thing too," he surprised her by saying.

"Really?" Her head; which had begun to look down nonstop as they walked, immediately snapped up.

"Yes," he nodded.

As they walked into the hypermarket.

"It's hard not to."

She could see his cheeks making a quick visit to his ears, and could instantly tell that he was smiling.

"The time has come though," he regretfully mentioned and nodded in the trolleys' direction. "We now have to separate."

"Yep," she nodded in agreement.

And a small part of her wondered what he would have said, or where their conversation would have headed if they weren't in the middle of shopping.

She even went on to secretly asking herself, if him mentioning their brief separation wasn't the stranger s***h overnight housemate's way of being evasive about the subject at hand.

Then she slightly shook her head, at her own ridiculousness.

Or what she thought it was.

"Let's talk meeting points," he suggested when they got to a point between two aisles. Where their trolleys had to go separate ways.

"I'm thinking the front of the store," she thoughtfully said. "Say in twenty minutes? Give or take?"

"Works for me," he nodded and began walking away.

Only to come to a standstill in his tracks and slowly retraced his steps to her again.

"Let's pick up where we left off with that conversation when we get home, okay?" He hesitantly suggested.

She could swear she heard a bit of hopefulness in his tone too.

Which made her conceal a smile from him, for the second time today.

"No problem," she nodded.

And this time, she got to walk away with her trolley first.

The memories of her last moments with him before they separated, kept her company throughout her shopping.

Nothing much had happened. Nothing intriguing or even exciting.

But she couldn't help but be fascinated by how the mystery that he still was to her, captivated her mind sometimes.

Fifteen minutes later; she was lazily pushing her trolley out of the store.

Even though she would have preferred to just fly home immediately, she walked slowly.

Because she thought and believed that he was still trying to find his way inside.

She had shopped here in a really long time.

And therefore found everything about the shop easy to navigate.

But she easily assumed that the same couldn't be the case with him.

Because he was a pilot for goodness' sake.

One that only came home to get some sleep.

And probably relied and consumed only takeout.

What could he possibly know about grocery shopping? She snickered to herself.

Only to stop midway; because right there, ahead of her was Edward- pushing his trolley towards and falling in step with her.

"You thought I was going to be late, didn't you?" He smiled knowingly.

"No," she lied with a chuckle.

"I'll keep that note in my long term memory, for later revisitation." He teased.

As they started loading the items into the car.

"What on earth are you talking about?" She frowned.

"Oh, you know..." He shrugged. "Our earlier conversation about first impressions." He began. "To what I already had in mind about you, I've kind of added liar to the list."

Sabrina laughed, ignored his commentary and closed the car boot.

"You don't mind driving us back, do you?" She asked, as she retrieved the car keys from her back pocket.

"Nope," he grinned from way behind the mask.

"Good," she heaved a sigh of relief as she threw the keys in his direction.

And then headed to the passenger side of the car.

Without a word, she climbed in and strapped herself with the seatbelt.

Then tightly closed her eyes.

"Home sweet home," he softly said as he killed the engine a few moments later.

Driving during the pandemic was proving to be easier. Especially because the roads were unbelievably empty, seeing that everyone was trying to be safe at home.

The only cars one drove past were the few for those who were rushing to front line jobs, or running quick errands for their families.

"Already?" She asked between a few shaky breaths.

"Yes," he nodded. "Where did you disappear to? Because clearly you haven't been here with-"

Her increased shaky and loud breaths cut him off mid sentence.

"Hey!" He jumped out of the car and rushed to her side. "Are you okay?" He unbuckled her seatbelt and scooped her into his arms, before he even got a response out of her.

Her struggle to breathe continued as he climbed up the stairs with her in a hurry.

Upon reaching the uncertain safety of their apartment, he gently placed her on the couch and removed her mark for her.

"What's going on?" The back of his hand flew to her forehead, in an attempt to check her temperature.

"Just a little panic attack," she said between ragged breaths. "And a bit of claustrophobia."

"Sabrina, there's nothing little about this." He rushed to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. "Let's see how you feel after this," he held the glass to her lips.

Probably not trusting her shaky hands to not break the glass. Until, she had swallowed even the last drop.

"Feeling better?" He asked, watching how the quick rising and falling of her chest had returned to something closer to what normal looks like.

Or at least looked like, before everything changed overnight in the whole world.

"Much," she sighed.

Feeling slightly embarrassed that he had gotten to see her during her breakdown like that.

"You should have told me about your fear of small spaces," he softly muttered. "I would have perfectly managed running the errands on my own."

"Admitting that would have made me feel weak," she shyly retorted then averted her gaze away from him.

"There's nothing weak about having fears," he slightly caressed her chin.

In a gesture that was supposed to be a comforting one.

And one that was meant to soothe her fears too.

But all it seemed to do, was have an entirely different and unexpected effect on both of them.

The gesture had been innocent.

But biology and all its tricks managed to bring their faces closer together.

And when only a small gap remained between them, they simultaneously closed it. Without once taking a second to consider the dangers that they were warned against in the virus updates and news, that apparently came with making physical contact with another person.

Their lips fiercely collided, without a single care in the world.

Which caused a few ripple effects and other mindless actions of the body too.

He briefly broke their kiss and stood; only to grab her waist, pull her body towards his.

And led her to her bedroom without once breaking it.

"This is dangerous," she weakly muttered.

But continued kissing him back, with the very same enthusiasm that he was showing her.

"Everything in life is," he responded hoarsely.

"We could die," she retorted as they fell onto each other on her bed.

"True," he agreed.

Only to slam back with, "just like anyone who isn't kissing right now could."

Sabrina couldn't help but laugh at this.

And he joined in too.

During that light humored moment, they managed to compose themselves.

"Did I lead you on?" She found herself asking when the fogginess of the moment had passed.

At about the same time he asked, "did I take advantage of the situation?"

Which led into even more light laughter.

That temporarily made them forget about the horrible things that were happening, to what they had always known as world normalcy.

Edward shifted his body, until he was laying right next to her.

"You scared me earlier," he mentioned a little distantly.

"I know," she sighed. "And I'm sorry. I should have said something about it earlier."

"It's okay," he assured her. Then asked, "I thought claustrophobia had a lot to do with small and confined spaces. Why does the car count?"

"Wasn't that a small and confined space?" She teased.

Before her voice took on a more serious turn. "The whole world feels like a confined space right now, Edward." She began. "We can't leave our homes. If we do, we have to cover up like we're preparing for war. We can't go to work. We can't see our loved ones. Even if we do see them by some small miracle, we can't hold them in our arms and comfort them. It's frustrating. And literally just feels like every wall there is, is just closing in on me."

"Is there a build up to it?" He asked, voice full of concern.

"What do you mean?" She frowned.

"The claustrophobia," he sighed. "Do you feel it coming or does it take you completely off guard?"

"Sometimes there's a build up," she sighed too.

Because talking about the very subject made her feel like she was summoning the anxiety that comes with it.

"Let me know early next time," he commanded.

"Why?" She wasn't following. And quite frankly, didn't like the idea of calling him to babysitting duty every time she felt like she was suffocating. Because she didn't like to feel weak and helpless.

She preferred to find her way out of sticky situations on her own.

It was the kind of thing that made her feel self reliant and resourceful.

It was the kind of thing that made her feel like the strong woman that she knew herself to be too.

"So that I can help you calm down," he softly said.

"By kissing me?" She grinned mischievously.

"I was thinking breathing exercises," he laughed. "But yes, if you think my kisses are more effective. Then by all means, don't hesitate to call me."

"You do yoga?" Her jaw dropped as she asked the question and sat up.

"Sometimes," he laughed at her reaction. "But breathing exercises don't always have something to do with yoga. They're a calming technique of a different kind altogether."

"You are a very strange man Mr Myers," was all she managed to say.

"Well," he shrugged. "We do live in a strange world Miss Sullivan, so it's only right that we fit right in with the strangeness of it."

"True," she thoughtfully responded as her mind brought her back to their stuck at home situation again. "And thank you," she said. "I'll definitely let you know when I feel like I'm on shaky grounds again."

"For?" He urged with a smirk.

"For both," she responded before she could give herself the time to overthink.

"Breathing and kissing sessions with a beautiful lady," he smiled broadly. "Sign me up anytime." He teased, when he saw her suddenly uncertain facial expression.

"You make it all sound so easy and uncomplicated, as if all of it is just normal." She noted curiously.

Finding herself more intrigued and eager to find out more about what lies beneath the surface of this easy going mysterious stranger.

"This is normal," he said matter of factly. "Everything about the here and now is the new normal. The old normal is gone, and most probably not coming back too."

"I hate the amount of truth that is in that statement," she sighed.

"The sooner you accept and adapt to it," he began and didn't get a chance to finish.

"The better," she finished for him with another sigh.

"Yep," he sat up. "I'll go fetch the groceries." He stood.

"I'll help!" She jumped to her feet too.

"Uh, no." He shook his head. "It's a bit too soon for another episode on our hands."

"Great," she sarcastically said and slowly followed him to the living room.

Where despite her stubbornness and feelings of defiance creeping up on her, she sat still.

Until he returned.

Only to make two more final trips.

"Do you cook?" She couldn't help but ask as they started packing items into the cabinets and refrigerator.

After learning about yoga being one of his interests, she quickly learned to stop judging the book that he was by its cover.

"I wouldn't know how to peel the shells off boiled eggs," he laughed at himself. "I sure know how to boil water though."

"Put it up here," she raised her open palm towards him in initiation of a high five.

Which he happily met halfway.

"Doing it to make me feel better?" He accused with a raised eyebrow.

"No," she laughed. "I have a few meals that I can properly put together. But I'm not really a purveyor of the culinary arts myself."

"So, we're basically in this horrible cooks' boat together?" He grinned.

"You could say that, yes." She chuckled. "To some certain degree, it's kind of true."

"Well, it's nothing to be ashamed of." He laughed.

"Who says I'm ashamed?" She challenged with a scowl.

"I know all about the sometimes unrealistic expectations that society places on women's shoulders," he stated with a straight face.

"Oh, do you now?" She folded her arms, eager to hear more.

"Yes," he nodded. "That's why I have a suggestion concerning our whole cooking situation."

"I'm all ears," she sat and waited.

"We can make it more fun if we could find recipes and try them out together," he excitedly announced.

"And come out of this lockdown more skilled?" She couldn't help but like the idea. But more so, the thought of venturing into the whole cooking experiments thing with him.

Because she was finding him to be a breath of fresh air.

"Uh huh," he nodded.

And initiated the high five this time around.

Which ended up with their hands refusing to be parted after.

When he gently squeezed hers, she squeezed back.

And as if that had meant a whole conversation from another universe that only they could understand; he slowly pulled her towards himself and kissed her, for the second time today.