Blue

Chapter Eight

The first two weeks without Sergei were productive, as Ilaria managed to write almost the entire script. But on the third week she began missing him, waiting for him to knock or ring at the door and being frustrated every time it wasn't him the one that made her run to the door but the postman or April. She became more and more moody and her useless brain didn't help at all, as fantasies of him kept taking over her dreams.

" You know, maybe it's more than just a physical attraction." said April, blowing in her coffee.

They were both relaxing on April's porch, watching the people who passed by. As always, Sergei was a top listed subject, and that morning was no exception.

" I am not in love with him."

" I didn't say that. Maybe you just... have a very serious crush on him."

Ilaria wanted to roll her eyes, but ended up actually considering her words. A very serious crush... that could explain the ache she felt every time she pictured Sergei and Natalia in bed. That was, in her mind, the only thing that could delay them that much from returning to Yachats. 

" A very serious crush, you say?"

" Ilaria, dear, I am not trying to tell you what's in your heart. But, if you only wanted to have s*x with him, I don't think you'd be going through all this trouble to help him."

" But it's a big step for me too. I'm turning my book into a movie."

" And you are giving up your rights for the next 10 years. So if this is low rated or a complete fiasco, you can't make another film."

" For the next 10 years. And it's not like there are dozens of producers at my door, begging me to sign a contract with them. Plus, I actually think it will work. Sergei will attract girls like a magnet, and their boyfriends will have to come along."

" And so, we're back to Sergei. You can't stop talking about him. And I bet you can't stop thinking about him either."

" He is hot."

" Yes, I have eyes. I've seen him. Yet my head is crystal clear."

" I'm a writer. My imagination just happens to be very... active. And productive lately."

" So he's your muse."

April started laughing, and Ilaria couldn't help but smile as well.

" Stop teasing me, please. It's hard enough as it is. "

" I'm not teasing you for the simple pleasure of it - even though, I won't deny it's quite satisfying - but the sooner you admit you have some feelings for him, the sooner you start taking action."

***

Sergei took his seat and waited for the plane to take off. His mind was a blur and the surroundings were just shapes and lines he couldn't see clear. He hoped he was on the right plane and that his luggage was ok; actually no, he didn't give a s**t about his luggage or the plane. He could go anywhere since Natalia wasn't coming with him anyway. So going back to Yachats was as good as going anywhere else. For the first time he felt completely lost; when he and Natalia had broken up, he still had the hope of getting her back. He knew he was far from what she wanted, but he tried and tried to get better, to stop shutting down around others and be opened and sure on himself and on what they had. And he did. He even went to a shrink that helped him overcome all the insecurities and damages he had; and all those just for Natalia. Thinking about how beautiful she was when she opened the door, he shrugged. All casual and relaxed she looked a million times more beautiful than any Victoria's Secret Angel. Remembering the conversation hurt; she made it clear she had moved on and, even though he refused to believe it, the manly voice that was coming from the inside convinced him. She introduced him to her new boyfriend, a tall blond guy he had never seen - one of those Broadway actors apparently. And she invited him to take the dinner with them, allowing him to observe how happy she was with her new life. She was nice to him, and so was Liam, but that only made Sergei feel worse. In the end, when he finally left, she showed him to the door, asking if they could still be friends and he just stared at her.

"Yeah, imaginary friends."

That line from Ilaria crossed his mind, but, unlike her, he couldn't find the strength to say it. So he just nodded slowly and turned away, unable to look at her anymore.

Remembering this was poisoning, but images from that night simply kept playing in his mind and, in that hurricane of emptiness and sadness, the only comforting face was Ilaria's. It felt as if they've known each other for years, even though it has been less than a month. A part of him felt extremely familiar around her, and that part was freaking out.

***

Eleven o'clock. A glass of wine. And the great company of The Notebook. It sounded like a nice Saturday evening for Ilaria, if only she could keep her focus on the film. Instead, she kept wondering where Sergei was, what he was doing and all the other questions she, as a friend, shouldn't want to know the answer to. The conversation she had with April that morning was still very much present inside her head and the thought she might have feelings for Sergei didn't leave her brain the entire day.

When somebody knocked at her door, she felt a whole damn zoo because, even without opening, she knew it was him.

" She still doesn't want. We're really done."

No hellos or any other introductions, just the cause of his sadness. He looked devastated and haunted and Ilaria allowed him to come in, without waiting for him to ask. She felt a strange nausea and a huge urge to hug him, but she kept her hands to herself, while watching him taking his seat in the armchair he sat every time.  That armchair was already referred to as his, and she couldn't hide a small smile, despite his sadness, thinking he had something familiar in her house.

" Maybe ... "

He shook his head, cutting her sentence before even starting it.

" She moved on."

She bit her lip, a habit she found herself very attached to these days.

" I'm sorry." whispered Ilaria, coming near him and placing a hand on his knee.

He rose his eyes, catching her gaze. Again, Ilaria was left breathless by the intensity of the blue in his eyes, finding it hard to keep her focus on the conversation and on anything but him - his handsome face, his messy hair - him as whole. But this time, something was different as, for once, he seemed to actually see inside her soul, see the effect she had upon her. And God, she was beautiful. And caring. And before fully understanding what he was doing, his mouth was over hers, his hands around her waist. Surprised, Ilaria realized a soft sound but didn't pull away, placing her arms around his neck and tasting his lips. Soft. Sweet. More than anything she had ever dreamt. Their bodies, pressed against each other in a desperate hug seemed to fit so well it surprised both of them; their kiss, gentle but full of unspeakable feelings leaving them out of breath.

" We shouldn't." Ilaria whispered, burying her face in his neck, breathing in his perfume.

He smelt so good. And being pressed again his chest, touching him, knowing he wanted her too and it wasn't just another tortuous dream, it was too amazing to be true. She was trying hard to focus on her senses, as her entire body seemed to explode of energy and the butterflies in her belly turned into dinosaurs.

" No, we shouldn't. But it's probably too late to stop."

Because, for the first time, he didn't feel awkward anymore and this specific moment felt like a great escape. So when she nodded slowly, raising her head to kiss him again and whispering on his lips " my bedroom is upstairs ", he took her and began climbing the stairs, while Ilaria's arms were firmly surrounding his neck.

***

When the sun came up, Sergei was already awake, watching Ilaria sleep next to him. Her hair was spread upon the silky bed sheets, her arms crossed under her head. She looked peaceful and happy, this wonderful image drawn in the morning light giving him a pleasant feeling of peacefulness and calm. Last night, finding his way to her house felt like coming home; finding this unknown spark felt like a new chance; and finding Ilaria, her sweet but full of unpredictable passion self, felt like a precious treasure he couldn't keep his hands of. It's true, his heart was still broken; Natalia had torn it apart. But maybe Ilaria could fix it. 

Feeling his gaze upon her, Ilaria opened one eye, catching him staring at her, with one of those looks people have when they realize things. 

" You're beautiful. " 

His statement caught her by surprise. She lifted herself in one elbow, covering herself with the sheets, and looked at him.

" Sergei?"

His name sounded delightful on her lips; how could he not notice that before?

" Yes?"

His eyes, bright blue, were completely focused on her. Ilaria swallowed.

" Where does this lead us?"

He smiled, bringing her closer to him with one arm, and burying his face in her hear.

" I don't know. We'll see. But right now, it looks pretty much like a road to Heaven."