The Last Female Alphas

FEELS LIKE HOME2

Ray POV:

I heard some movement in the back, so I turned around to check what was making the noise. Blaze is staring at me with his beautiful chocolate-brown eyes. They look like the surface of the moon filled with craters. His beard is grown, and he looks tired as if he hasn’t slept properly for days. When he sees me, there is hesitation and love in those big, beautiful eyes. They shine bright with unshed tears. He is looking straight at me with so much regret and sadness. It is hard to breathe thinking about all his emotions. So, I try to distract myself from him. Saying the first thing that comes to mind.

“Can I have something to eat? I don’t think I have eaten in days.” Seriously, I am a genius, this is the first thing I said to him after dreaming about him for days. That startles him, but at least he doesn’t look sad. He gets up with such force that he hits his head on the wooden beam above. He looks like a giant in this cabin but moves with such ease as if he has lived here for a long time.

“Aww... aww... aw... I... I... will get something for you. I don’t think the community hall and kitchen are open at this hour. I will rummage through the kitchen and find you something to eat.” He walks towards the small kitchen and opens the small pot on the table.

“I think Blake and Ritz left us some food. Do you mind some vegetable stew and bread? I don’t have much in the kitchen yet, or I would have made you something to eat.” He looks ashamed to say that. I don’t understand why he has been so caring and gracious to me, even offering his food to me. But instead of saying all that I just smiled.

“I would love it. Thank you.” I whispered slowly. I just stood there not knowing where to sit.

“Umm why don’t you come here and join me? I am starving as well.” He says, smiling at me. I am still locked in place; he is an alpha, maybe nicer than Simon, but how much can I trust him? I wonder what kind of cruel game this is. I stood still without moving. When I don’t move, he slowly comes to me and takes my hand, guiding me to the dining table. He makes me sit and smiles at me. His smile makes weird butterflies jump around in my stomach. We sit quietly, in a comfortable silence like we have done this forever, and eat.

“Would you like some dried meat or fruit? I am sorry I don’t have anything else to offer here.” He says, embarrassed, scratching his head. His beautiful brown eyes twinkle with playfulness and nervousness, but he feels genuinely happy and content too.

“Fruits would be great. I don’t remember the last time I ate.” I mumbled to myself.

“No, I had the carrot cake from my angel.” I stopped before I said anything stupid. I feel safe with him, but I know who he is. What if this is some long game? What if this is some cruel punishment Nicholas and Blaze made up? Then I remembered what happened. Before I can stop myself, I say it loudly.

“Nicholas, he is dead. Isn’t he? The gray beast killed him.” That shocked him, and he just sat there looking terrified.

“He... he... he was going to kill you, I lost control. I am sorry you had to see me like that. I was so angry. I am not like him. I... I... I promise.” He struggles to explain stuttering awkwardly. Then he brings his pinky out and crosses his heart. I burst out laughing. I haven’t laughed in a very long time, that relaxes him a little as he flashes me a smile. His smile does something to me.

He gets up and takes all the dishes to the sink. I just sat there staring at him. I should help him, but I don’t know what he wants me to do. I don’t want to anger him. So, I just sit there waiting for him to either shout at me or tell me what I am doing here. He gets some water from the terracotta drum sitting in the corner.

“We haven’t got running water yet, so we just store water in the terracotta drums for daily use.” From all the things I could say, I said the dumbest thing possible.

“Do you know how to do the dishes?” Dumb girl. Of course, he does, he’s doing them. Instead of sneering at me, he shyly smiles, looking all flustered and embarrassed.

“I do just fine. I can cook too, but all my friends don’t let me cook.” He explains without any anger or frustration.

“Why not?” I retorted.

“Well, I don’t like wasting food. I don’t like wasting any parts of the animal, so I use all the animal parts in my food. They can’t stomach it. I use fur to make clothing or blankets, bones to make weapons or Stacey uses them for some witch thing. Last time I remember putting intestines in deer stew, and everyone hated it. After that, I am not allowed to cook.” He scratches his head again trying to hide his smile.

“You are serious, aren’t you? How about you save the parts you don’t want to throw away in salt for the next day? Or maybe store them in a cold room. You can make sausages from clean intestines. You can mince the organs and make cutlets or meatballs. Just don’t tell them.” I reply quite seriously, he looks thoughtful and then just nods.

He is still distant. I decided I couldn’t tip toe around the subject. It would be better if I just ripped the bandage off. “I know, you know that I know who you are?”

That stops all his movements, and he looks shell-shocked. But turns around and simply finishes the dishes. After he is done, he turns around again with a determined expression expecting something from me. He is leaning on the counter, and his biceps bulge. I can see the V shape just above his forbidden area. I gulp and look away. He is staring at me like a lion stares at the trapped deer just before it eats him.

“And who am I?” he asks slowly in a voice devoid of emotions.

“Alpha Blaze Lane,” I said as clearly as I could without breaking eye contact.

“I am no alpha. All my friends know that, and you should too. I am not an alpha. I am just a warrior, fighting for what I believe is right.” He says in a matter-of-fact tone.

“And what do you believe in?” I asked him again, looking directly into his eyes.

“You will know soon enough; you are still tired and weak. You should rest, you can take the bed. I will sleep on the floor.” He says slowly, breaking eye contact.