The Last Female Alphas

TANGLED EMOTIONS 1

Blaze POV:

I dozed off waiting for Ray to wake up. I am startled awake by the noise of silent footsteps. I feel as if a mouse is scouring around my room. I see the deepest blue eyes staring at me. She startled me even more, asking for food. She didn’t say anything else, just kept watching my movements like a hawk. I try to stand faster than my brain can comprehend. The movement of my body is unstable, and I bang my head on the beam. Thor is cracking in my head.

“Amazing first impression, Blaze.” He says in between laughter.

“Shut up, mutt.” I chastised him.

“I missed this one among the hundreds of scenarios you practiced on how you would meet her. But I must say this one is the best.” He says, rolling his eyes at me. Walking into the kitchen, I started looking around for something to eat. I forgot to stock up the kitchen this time. I mindlink Roy, asking for food.

“Blaze, look around in the kitchen. It’s the middle of the night bro. I love you but let me sleep.” He replies grumpily.

I found food that Ritz left for us along with her note saying there was more stuff in the cabinet. I asked Ray if she would like stew and bread as the kitchen would be closed, and I didn’t have much in the house. I should have thought about the food. My guilt overwhelms me, she hasn’t eaten in days, and I didn’t even think about food. There is a note from Ritz saying there’s dried meat and dried fruit in the cupboard. So, I offered it to her. I don’t have much, but whatever I have belongs to her. When she says she hasn’t eaten in days, it breaks my heart. I hate myself that I couldn’t do more for her.

She stops my mental gymnastics saying her angel brought her a carrot cake. She thinks I am an angel. But I am not her angel, I couldn’t even guard her properly.

Her words hit me like lightning when she said Nicholas was dead and the beast killed him. She thinks I am a monster. Thor retreats into my head with shame. He never hated being called a monster before, but it cut him deep this time.

I start rambling. I was so angry that he hurt her. Thor is whimpering in my head, thinking she thinks of him as a monster. I made her a promise that I was not like them. And before I can stop myself, I take my pinky out and cross my heart. Damn, Oliver and his stupid habits. That makes her laugh so hard. I can make a fool of myself forever if she laughs like that. We are both crackling like idiots. After a while, I compose myself and take the plate to wash. She is so intrigued and confused that I know how to do dishes. I laugh with her and tell her I can cook too, but nobody likes my cooking. I told her about the time I put intestines in the stew. She surprises me when she doesn’t make fun of me but tells me how to use organs properly for cooking. I think I should make a small cool room for meat in the community kitchen that will help everyone a lot. We never thought about it. She has such a unique perspective on the smallest things.

When I am done, we decide to get some sleep. She just stands there not knowing what to do. I offered her the bed to sleep in and got a blanket out to make my temporary bed on the floor. I took her old blue comforter out. I always use this as it smells like her, and it calms me down when I am nervous. It sounds so creepy, but I did what I could to be closer to her. Suddenly, she starts shaking like a leaf, she is having a panic attack. I don’t even know what happened, she looked happy a minute ago. Thor is roaring at me to fix this.

“Dumb human, she thinks you are putting her in a cold basement or something. The blanket, that’s what set her off.” Thor explains to me by roaring at me to help her.

“Oh no, how can I tell her it’s for me.” I am panicking even more about how to explain this to her. She would be mad if she knew I had her old blanket. And what if she freaked out further? Knowing I used her old blanket is not a normal thing.

I had to do something, so I went to her and held her tightly, trying to comfort her.

“Baby you are OK, please relax. I would never hurt you. I promise. Please come back to me.” I keep repeating the words like a mantra, but nothing helps her.

I lifted her up and carried her to bed. She weighs less than a sack of cotton. I feel so angry thinking how much those monsters tormented her. We just sit on the bed while she keeps crying on my chest. I let her cry as sometimes it helps to let it go. After a while, she calms down and falls asleep on me. I am trying to control myself and not think any funny thoughts, but her gardenia scent is driving me crazy. Thor is not helping at all. I have forever imagined how it would be to be with her, and hold her when she sleeps.

“She wants us, Blaze. Make a move.” Thor grumbles shamelessly.

“Stupid mutt, she is tired and stressed. She fell asleep. Shut up and let me think.” I scolded him, which made him grumble more.

I slowly try to get up and move away, but she holds me tighter. So, I slowly guided us both to a comfortable position and let her sleep. I slowly remove my t-shirt to get comfortable and sit so she can sleep properly using me like a pillow. I am so tired that after a while I make myself comfortable and adjust her, so I can sleep holding her. I gently put the t-shirt on her, I don’t want her to freak out when she wakes up and sees me sleeping with her. The t-shirt will at least help her understand that I covered her up. Falling asleep enveloped in her gardenia and lilac scent was a dream, so I fell asleep instantly. I will always protect you and keep you safe is the last coherent thought I had before I got lost in the dreamless sleep.