Forever not yours

Freedom

Taylor

I wanted to say more to Kate, but I was lost for words. How could I explain myself and what I had done. So I simply did as she asked. Making my way out of her room listening to the light sobs coming from behind me as she sits on her bed. Closing the door behind me I make my way to the kitchen. I take a moment to compose myself. I broke my own heart doing this to Kate. She didn’t deserve this one bit but stupid ass me had to be stupid ass me. Finally some of my compose was back in check and I set to find my things which wasn’t much Kate had just moved into her house only two months ago and she hadn’t had much out of her own yet. Even what she had was simple elegant stuff but comfortable home feeling. The kitchen and living room were what they call open concept so it took no time to grab my belongs.

Her little house suited her well. I had helped Kate move in and she was so excited I couldn’t of been happier for her seeing her literally jump up and down with excitement. The living room was cozy. The kitchen was inviting. Everything that she was. I couldn’t stop myself from the great memories we had made already as a couple here in this little house that time now cut short because of my stupidity.

Looking over the place one last time with my stuff in a box. I couldn’t just leave like this but I had heard Kate turn on the shower while I was gathering my things so going to talk to her was out of the question entirely. I didn’t want to upset her more than I already have as it is. So I decided on leaving a small note for her. Praying that she won’t throw it out before reading it I take a chance a folded it up and leave it on her kitchen counter. Making my way to the front door I take a breath and open the door looking over my shoulder one last time thinking maybe she was would be standing there but Kate was no where to be seen. Why would I even think she would be there. Closing the door behind me I make my way to my truck, putting my stuff in the passenger seat. I decide I need to see the guys and let them know what’s up before rumour town gets a hold of what happened. Don’t know how it could get any worse but decide it’s best to hear it from me. I’m skeptical telling the guys because I know some of them have a crush on her, they didn’t hide it well but kept the comments to themselves which I guess I should be thankful for. But now that Kate and I are over, who would be the one to try and make the first move on her. How would I handle it if it was one of the guys in my friend group. I’ll have no right to say anything because of how it ended but still there’s a hint of jealousy already creeping up and I’m still in her driveway.

I need a f*****g drink I tell myself.

Backing out of Kate’s driveway I sped out of there making my way straight to our local bar. It wasn’t much but it’s all we had in our small town so we made do. It’s already late into the evening so I knew most of the guys would be there already plus it’s a Friday night so the odds are even better. Driving up to the bar I can already see it’s packed. Lights flashing from the door music blasting I knew this is what I needed.

Looking for a parking spot I see some of the buddies trucks already here. Tossing the truck into park I make my way to the door. The bouncer doesn’t even check my ID anymore I come here more than I probably should but hell I’m young I’ll party as long as I can. Getting inside it’s loud, music blasting people trying to talk over the music dancing having the time of their lives.

This right here, Is everything I need right now in life. I hated breaking up with Kate but I think in the end it was the right decision for me and for her. It wouldn’t of worked out with us. Nether one of us would of gave up on the life we envisioned for ourselves and that’s okay.

“Taylor we are about to do shots man! Get out of your head and do some shots with us already”

“It’s almost time to judge the wet t-shirt contest, get your ass over here”

“Shots! Shots! Shots”

The boys are already carried away and the night is just beginning for us. What kind of trouble are we going to be getting into tonight. I walk over to the guys. Fist bumps and slaps on the back to say hey. One of them passes me a nice cold beer I down it almost instantly. Looking over the crowd that is here. I know almost all of them, perks of living in a small town. Drinks are flowing nicely. Mine and the guys dancing need a lot of work but damn it’s been a good night so far with them. None of them had brought up the break up with Kate which I’m thankful for since I got a good buzz going I’d hate to ruin the mood. But I know one of them is itching to know what’s really going on, Chase. He’s been my best friend since kindergarten. He knows me like the back of his hand same goes for him. As much as we are both having a good time, I know he wants to see how I’m doing. So I give him the nod to say that I’m going out for a smoke and Chase follows me out.

“I’d hate to ruin the fun man but I know you and Kate broke up tonight and I just wanted to see how it went since I’m guessing you told her about Stephanie”

Chase knew about Stephanie from the very beginning. To say he was pissed at me would be a understatement. He wanted me to pick one right then and there I swore it was a one time thing which turned into a lot more times. He always had a soft spot for Kate since she was also someone we grew up with. Chase soon found of the other times I snuck around with Stephanie and he swore if I didn’t tell Kate that he would because no woman should be treated that way.

“f**k Chase, of course it didn’t go good. Didn’t help that we fooled around first before I said anything about Stephanie. She knew Chase.. I don’t know how but she did. Hardly had to say anything before she kicked me out and told me to take my s**t”

“I f*****g told you Taylor! Now shits going to be awkward as f**k at work with Kate on Monday. You should of told her right from the start, you owed that to her”

“Yeah yeah Chase, I got it, I screwed up big time with Kate alright? We talked about it now can we get back to the party your ruining my time to try and forget it”

The rest of the evening went smoothly. The guys and I were having a great time like we always do at the bar. The drinks were hitting all the right spots. But the more I started to drink the more the thoughts were burning into my mind, Kate. I was enjoying the night of course but I missed having Kate here with us. She made sure to keep us in line but knew how to have a good time too. Maybe I should call her just to see how she’s doing? Maybe she will want to talk to right?

What the f**k am I thinking she won’t want to talk to me right now! But I should try anyway. I decided maybe call her on the way home would be better. Give us both some time and space to think, it’s not a lot of time but I feel like I messed up a really good thing that didn’t really have time to start. Calling her on the way home but for now I’ll keep enjoying my night with the boys