NOT FOR MYSELF
1219 Words
Chapter 3
The morning bell rang louder than usual.
Ashley barely had time to steady herself before the door opened.
“Move.”
No greetings. No patience.
She stood up quickly, her body still weak from the days before. The other women were already lining up outside. Some looked tired. Some looked empty. None of them spoke.
Ashley joined them.
They were led outside the main building, past the narrow yard, toward a section surrounded by old walls and broken tools.
Work.
That was what they called it.
But it wasn’t work.
It was punishment.
“You will finish everything before noon,” the matron said, her sharp eyes moving across them. “No excuses.”
One of the women hesitated.
“I’m not feeling well—”
The slap came fast.
“Here, you don’t feel,” the matron said coldly. “You obey.”
Silence fell again.
Ashley lowered her gaze.
They were handed tools. Heavy ones. Rusted. Not meant for people in their condition.
Some were told to carry loads. Others to scrub the ground. Others to move stones from one end to another.
Ashley was given a sack.
“Carry it to the back,” one attendant said.
She nodded quietly.
The sack was heavier than it looked.
She lifted it slowly, her arms straining. Her body resisted, but she forced herself to move.
Step by step.
Her breathing became uneven.
The sun was already rising, heat settling into the air.
Around her, the others struggled the same way. No one helped anyone. Not because they didn’t want to.
Because they were afraid.
Ashley tightened her grip.
“For Lauren…” she whispered under her breath.
She kept walking.
One step.
Another.
Her vision blurred slightly.
She blinked hard and kept going.
But the weakness didn’t fade.
It grew.
Her chest tightened.
A sharp pain spread slowly.
Ashley stopped for a second, trying to breathe properly.
“Move!” someone shouted.
She forced herself again.
But her legs felt unstable now.
The sack slipped slightly from her grip.
Her breathing became faster.
Too fast.
The pain in her chest deepened.
Ashley dropped the sack.
The sound hit the ground heavily.
“I said move!” the attendant snapped, walking toward her.
Ashley tried to respond, but her voice didn’t come out.
Her hand moved to her chest.
Something was wrong.
Very wrong.
Her vision darkened at the edges.
The ground felt like it was shifting.
Then everything went black.
When Ashley opened her eyes again, the ceiling was different.
White.
Clean.
Quiet.
For a moment, she didn’t understand where she was.
Then she heard voices.
“She collapsed during labor duty.”
“She’s weak.”
“Check her vitals again.”
Ashley tried to sit up, but her body felt too heavy.
“Stay still,” a calm voice said.
A doctor.
Not like the others.
This one looked at her.
Properly.
Ashley swallowed. “My… baby…”
The doctor paused, then spoke carefully.
“You’re pregnant.”
The words settled in slowly.
Ashley’s eyes filled immediately.
It was real.
Not just a feeling.
Not just a thought.
Real.
“Is… is the baby okay?” she asked weakly.
The doctor nodded. “The baby is fine. Strong.”
A tear slipped down her face.
Relief washed over her.
But the doctor didn’t look completely at ease.
“There’s something else,” he said.
Ashley’s heart skipped.
“What is it?”
The doctor hesitated slightly, then spoke.
“You have a serious heart condition.”
Silence filled the room.
Ashley stared at him.
“I don’t understand…”
“It’s advanced,” he continued. “You must have had it for some time. It’s now at a late stage.”
Her breathing slowed.
The words didn’t fully sink in at first.
“Late… stage?” she repeated.
He nodded.
“If not managed properly, it can be dangerous. Especially with the pregnancy.”
Ashley’s fingers tightened slightly on the bed.
Her mind went blank.
Her family never mentioned anything.
No signs.
No warning.
Nothing.
“How…” she whispered.
The doctor didn’t answer that.
Instead, he handed her a small file.
“These are your reports,” he said. “Keep them safe.”
Ashley took it slowly.
Her hands trembled.
“For now, you need rest,” he added. “And less physical stress.”
Ashley almost let out a bitter laugh.
Rest?
In this place?
But she didn’t say it.
She only nodded.
The doctor gave her one last look, then left.
The room fell quiet again.
Ashley stared at the file in her hands.
Pregnant.
Heart condition.
Both real.
Both dangerous.
Her hand moved slowly to her stomach.
“You’re okay…” she whispered.
Tears filled her eyes again.
“I have to be okay too.”
Fear rose inside her.
Deep.
Heavy.
But she pushed it down.
“I won’t die,” she said softly.
“I can’t.”
Not now.
Not when she had something to protect.
Ashley looked around carefully, then slowly slipped the file under her clothing.
Later, when no one was watching, she would hide it properly.
She closed her eyes briefly.
Holding on.
Holding herself together.
Hours later, she was sent back to her room.
Nothing changed outside.
No one asked questions.
No one cared why she collapsed.
To them, she was still just a patient.
Ashley sat on her bed and quickly pulled out her notebook.
She also brought out the folded medical report and slid it carefully between the pages.
Hidden.
Safe.
Then she began to write again.
“Today, I almost collapsed completely.
They made us work again. Heavy loads. No care for who is sick or weak. We are not patients here. We are workers without a choice.
One woman spoke up. They hit her.
That is how this place works.
Pain is normal here.
I couldn’t carry the weight for long. My body gave up.
When I woke up, I was in the care ward.
That was when I found out the truth.
I am pregnant.
My child is alive. Strong.
That is the only good thing I have heard since I came here.
But there is something else.
Something they never told me before.
I have a heart problem.
A serious one.
Late stage.
I don’t understand how. No one in my family ever told me anything. Maybe they didn’t know. Maybe they did.
But now I know.
And now I am afraid.
Not for myself.
For my child.
I don’t know how long I can stay strong. I don’t know what will happen next. But I know I cannot give up.
I have to live.
For this child.
For Lauren.
The matron shouted at me again today before everything happened. She said we are useless. She said no one is coming for us.
Maybe she is right.
But I will prove her wrong.
Even if no one comes…
I will survive this.
I have to.”
Ashley stopped writing.
Her hand rested on the page.
Her other hand moved slowly to her stomach.
“I’m still here,” she whispered.
“And I’m not giving up.”
The room was quiet again.
Cold.
Unforgiving.
But inside her, something refused to break.
And that was enough.
For now.
- Writer
