Chapter 02: A Poison To Crave.
1269 Words
Scarlett Vale.
“Let him speak,” I said to Lila, turning sharply, trying to convince myself that the past wasn’t clawing its way back up. I stood, bracing myself against the voice in my head that always whispered worst-case scenarios.
I knew before we married that Lila was bisexual... more into men, fewer women, but I never cared.
Because every time she looked at me, she made me feel chosen. Certain. And now here I was, desperately trying to shut down a possibility I wasn’t ready to face.
She lifted my chin gently. “Baby, you shouldn’t stress yourself over psychos. I can handle him.”
I turned toward her, and tears slipped before I could stop them. People call me soft, too soft. A “slice of bread soaked in water.” They mock how easily I feel things, how easily I break. And yet Lila is the only one who never flinches when I fall apart.
“Yeah… you’re right,” I whispered, even though my voice cracked. I sank back into the seat as she knelt beside me.
“Babe, are you okay?” she asked.
“Sure. Yeah. Yeah,” I lied. “You’re right. I shouldn’t waste my time on psychos.”
She stared at me, sighed, and shook her head. “No. f**k. Baby, you’re not alright. Stop pretending.”
I tried swallowing the tears building again, but they burned too hot. Suddenly, she snapped her glare toward her PA.
“Leave. Now! Take your documents and get the hell out of my office. You’re fired.”
“No... no, he’s not,” I cut in immediately. “Lila, allow him.”
“Stay out of this, Scarlett,” she warned, rolling her eyes.
I swallowed the urge to argue. Yes, stay out of it, I told myself. You’re just the poor girl lucky enough to survive last year’s trauma.
She pulled me into her arms. “Baby, I’m sorry. Please. I’m really sorry.”
I eased my head away. “Lila, we go through this all the time. You say you hate men, but this is the fifth time I’m finding out you’re craving a man again.”
She sighed. “Come on, babe. I’m bisexual. You can’t blame me.”
I gave a painful little smile. “I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying… you married me because of my condition. Even if I can’t remember the past...”
“Okay, fine,” she cut in. “My last promise. I’m done with men and their traumas.”
“It’s fine, Lila.” I stood. “This is your life. Just… respect me enough that I don’t have to find out who you’re sleeping with.”
She stopped pacing. “Are you leaving me?”
I raised a brow. “Of course not.”
She smiled, lifting my chin again. “You know I’m your safe space. No one will ever love you like I do.”
Tears welled again as she squeezed my breasts lightly. “Should we do something quick?” she teased with a wink.
I looked away. “Lila… no. I need to go somewhere.”
She held onto me. “So what happens to me?”
“What?” I asked flatly.
“I’m horny, Scarlett. I am.”
I sighed. “Then get it somewhere else. You already know how to handle yourself. Use that.”
“Really?” she scoffed. “You’re serious?”
“Yes. I don’t blame you. It’s not your fault I have a phobia for men… and I don’t want you resenting me for it.”
She softened, kissed my forehead. “Fine. I’ll just watch something. A porn or whatever. Anything to ease it.”
“You’d do that for me?” I whispered.
She nodded, and I hugged her. I didn’t love her like just a partner. It felt like best friend love, sister love, soulmate love, all tangled into one. She carried me through last Christmas and all the holes in my memory. I promised myself I’d never let her drift away.
“Bye, queen,” she said.
“Don’t miss me too much,” I teased over my shoulder.
"Jiggle that ass for mama,” she called.
I flipped her off, and she laughed. Then the door shut behind me, and the tears came instantly.
Heavy.
Hot.
Unwelcome.
How long could I keep her from chasing the part of herself I could never compete with?
Outside, the new PA...Jethro, was dragging his bags. I jogged over.
“Hey...”
He dropped to his knees instantly. “I’m sorry, ma’am! I didn’t know she was married to you!”
“Oh! no, no. Please get up.” I helped him stand and handed him a towel. “You’re not fired. Hold on.”
He watched me search through my bag like a kid waiting for a promised gift. I smiled.
“You have a pen?”
He hurriedly handed one over. I scribbled a note, folded it, and gave it to him.
“In ten minutes, go back to your boss and give her this. She won’t fire you.”
His face lit up. “Thank you, ma’am!”
“Sure. But in ten minutes. She’s… busy.”
He nodded quickly, not understanding what I meant... thankfully.
Just then Jasmine appeared, my favorite employee of Lila’s. Blonde hair cascading, blue eyes piercing, smelling so damn good I had to remind myself I was married.
“Hi, Mama,” she smiled.
I hugged her, a spark catching in my chest. “Miss me?”
“Oh, badly,” she laughed. “I almost asked the boss about you but thought she might take it… the wrong way.”
We laughed together.
“How’s life with… a woman?” she teased.
“It’s like living with a best friend and a sister at the same time,” I said. “No rules. Just two women loving each other.”
She nodded, even though I knew she understood none of that.
“And Kenny?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes. “A thorn in my ass. We broke up last night.”
“His loss,” I said. “Who would be stupid enough to lose someone like you?”
She laughed. “I think I’m considering dating women now.”
I squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t force a new identity because of trauma.”
She nodded. The advice was for me more than her.
We said our goodbyes as Jethro called out, “Should I go now, ma’am?”
“No..don’t be silly,” I laughed. “Not yet.”
“Sorry, Mama! I’ll obey!”
“Good boy.”
I got into the car and drove off… until I remembered why I’d come to Lila's work place in the first place.
“f**k,” I whispered. “How am I this forgetful?”
I filled my tank so I wouldn’t have to stop later, waved at the attendant, and drove back to the office.
Jasmine rushed toward my car. “Everything okay, Mama?”
“Yeah. I forgot to get the house keys,” I said.
“Oh! Want me to get them?”
“No, it’s fine. I need to talk to her anyway.”
She nodded, and I headed inside, reaching for the
office door. The handle clicked.
I pushed it open...
And froze.
My breath died in my chest.
My eyes widened at the unbearable sight in front of me.
And the only thing that escaped my lips was:
“Holy. Shit.”
- Writer
