The Echo of Abuse and Love

Chapter Eight

Shea

I sit alone, quietly, in the car waiting for Luke to come back out from the house. I did exactly as he said and locked the doors as soon as his back was turned. When I'm alone I have time to process the events of the evening thus far. I feel so small sitting in the old Taurus alone. My eyes sting and my face hurts after crying so hard. I can feel fatigue setting into my body, and I lean my head back closing my eyes. 

I don't know how long I sit in the car alone, the silence feels like it stretches out forever. I keep replaying Jacob's words in my head.

"My brother has told me some wild stories about your younger days." 

I felt the numbness creeping in, my chest was heavy with unattended emotions, and I didn't feel like I had the ability to deal with any of it.  His words bounced around in my head like a distant echo. I had no idea what Jacob meant, or what his brother had told him, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. I desperately hoped whatever information Jacob thought he had on me, he'd keep it to himself. 

There was a tap on the window, and then Luke let himself into the car, unlocking the driver's side with his key.

"Ev is gonna stay tonight, she's going home with the girl she met up with earlier." There's a hint of annoyance in his voice, but relief floods through me when I realize I don't have to answer my friend's unending questions tonight. 

I nod and he studies me a moment before sticking the key in the ignition, starts the car, and pulls out onto the deserted road. It's already past 11, and it seems quiet for a Friday night. I stare out my window absently, watching the light poles zipping by. I feel as though I'm watching everything from another person's body. Like my consciousness is floating just above me, processing the information secondhand. 

"Are you hungry?" Lukes deep voice causes me to jump, I didn't realize how turned out I had become. 

"Not really," I said shortly, tearing my eyes from the blur of the scenery outside to look at him. 

He's studying me from the corner of his eye. His full lips are pulling into a tight line, and his jaw is clenched. I don't think I've ever noticed how chiseled he really is. The angular lines of his jaw flow down into his strong neck and shoulders. His toned corded muscles strain against his t-shirt. 

"You should really eat something." He says quietly, but there is an authoritative draw in his voice. "I know of this little diner just off the freeway a few exits ahead." he gives me a small smile.

"Okay," I said, unable to return the kindness of his face. Exhaustion was creeping over me, and I knew I couldn't put up any type of fight. 

His smile widens slightly, and he turns his attention fully back to the road. I'm thankful for his quietness as we sit in the car together. Luke has never been much of a talker with me as it is, but in this instance, I"m thankful he hasn't pushed anything. He hasn't asked me how I feel or what happened before he showed up earlier at the part. 

A few minutes later, he turns off the freeway. He wasn't lying when he said the diner was just off the freeway, we barely made it off the exit before he pulled into the parking lot of an old metal-looking building. The old neon of the sign casts a weird blue glow on the car as he turns off the engine. Quickly he gets out of the car, and comes around to my door, opening it for me. He leans down slightly, offering his hand to help me out of the car. I stare for a moment, surprised at the gesture, and unsure of how to respond. 

After a moment I take his hand reluctantly, allowing him to steady me as I stand. 

"This place has the BEST milkshakes!" He says cheerfully. Again, I am thankful and relieved that even though I feel incapable of returning any of his emotions, not once has Luke made it apparent that he notices how off I'm acting. I can tell by the way he keeps glancing at me that he knows there are still things wrong, but when he speaks, he doesn't act as though I'm ruining the evening. As we head toward the door, he keeps my hand safely in his, and I can't help but feel a small pool of warmth resurface inside of my body. Normally I avoid physical contact whenever possible. In the last few years, Eva has been the only person to breach my carefully constructed walls. But even she doesn't push farther than an occasional hug or linking her arm with mine while we walk. It's not that I don't like to be touched, it just seems like a waste of affection that I don't know how to reciprocate anymore. 

The diner is empty, and the bell above the door gingles brightly as we step into the bight fluorescently lit room. There is an old chalkboard sign sitting on the hostess podium that reads 'Seat Yourself' in old scrawled-out handwriting. I can hear distant chatter and clattering dishes coming from the kitchen but have yet to see a single person that works here. 

"Do you want to go sit up at the counter or in a booth?" Luke asks, still not releasing my hand. 

"Let's sit at the counter." The barstools are old black and white checkered vinyl, and the counter doesn't look like it's been truly cleaned since I was born. Most of the stools have tears in them and little white tufts of stuffing poke up through the holes. 

Only once we are each standing in front of a respective bar stool does Luke finally disengage his hand from mine. We both sit, and a woman who looks like a slightly overweight Dolly Parton look-alike scurries out from the kitchen. "What can I get y'all this evening?" He says, pouring herself a cup of coffee without even looking at us. 

"Hey, Aunt Rosie," Luke says, and the woman spins on her heel quite quickly, a huge smile spreads across her face. 

"Lucas! Oh, sweet boy!" Rosie about jumps over the counter, leaning her heavy bust far over the counter to grab Luke, pulling him in for a hug. "I haven't seen you in AGES! Where is your sweet twin sister?"

Luke chuckles in a low tone, clearly amused by the affectionate outpouring. "She's with some friends tonight." He explains, "This is Shea." He motions to me. "She's a friend of mine, and we are in desperate need of some burgers."

Rosie turns her attention to me, "Nice to meet you!" Her smile is infectious, and I feel my face heat as I try and return the greeting. 

"Nice to meet you too."

Just then Lukes phone rings, he pulls it from his pants pocket and frowns. He clicks to ignore button and lays the phone face down on the counter, returning his attention to Rosie and me.

"So burgers?" Rosie smiles, patting Luke's hand affectionately. "Steve!" She calls over her shoulder.

A man in his mid 50's poked his head up into the back winder leading to the kitchen.

"Hey Luke!" He calls, smiling widely, his eyes seem to partially disappear into the nest of wrinkles around his eyes. 

"Two cheeseburgers, please!" Rosie calls at him, talking way louder than necessary given their proximity. She turns back to Luke. "Do you two want shakes as well?"

"Of course!" Luke's phone rings again, and when he picks it up he exhales in irritation. "I need to take this, My usual Rose, and whatever Shea wants." He gives me an apologetic smile and stands, walking back toward the exit of the diner. 

"What can I get ya, dear?" Something about Rosie's look brings the warmth that had started to surface up to a simmer inside of me. 

"Uh," I feel my face flush because my voice sounds hoarse and disengaged. 

"Rough night?" Something sparkles in Rosie's mature eye, and I have a feeling her perception is way better than she's letting on. 

I find myself nodding at her, unable to find any coherent words. 

"I know exactly what you need." She pats my hand, looking over my shoulder to where Luke is talking on the phone just outside of the door. "You're a lucky girl, it's rare that I see Luke give much attention to anyone but Eva. You must be something special."

"Oh," I clear my throat, hoping I don't sound too ridiculous. "He's just giving me a ride home."

Again the look in Rosie's eyes makes me think she knows more than she is letting on. But all she does is smile and turn around, busying herself starting the milkshakes.