My Alpha Biker Mate

CHAPTER 47

CHAPTER 47

NOVA'S POV

By the time I wake up again, my head is hurting, and I am badly in need of a bath. The same bath that I said I didn't need the other time.

My legs shake slightly as I swing my feet off the bed. I manage to slip out of my dress, and I feel so sticky. But at the same time, I want to just submerge myself in water. There is this urgency in everything that I am doing.

I lead myself to the bathroom. That is all that matters. The fact that I am about to get there.

This time, I don't even have the patience to wait for the water to fill the bathtub. I go for the shower instead, and I gasp as soon as the water starts hitting my skin.

Fuck, that feels so good.

Steam rolls off my skin, clouding the glass doors. It feels so good, and I crouch there, allowing the water to touch every bit of my scalp. The temperature turns cold, and I still stay there.

I hear the door creak open, and I freeze in the shower.

“Nova?” I hear Cassian call out, and I immediately let out a breath of relief. It is just him. There is nothing to be worried about.

“In the bathroom,” I call out, and I can almost feel him smile from the main room. But there is something that is obviously wrong. I just don't know what it is yet.

As I get that feeling, I am already reluctant to go back to the room. But at the same time, I want to know what is actually wrong.

I hear the clinking of cutlery, and my stomach suddenly growls. That is enough to make me get out of the shower and wrap a towel around myself and my hair.

I walk back to the room, with a small smile on my face. His eyes seem to light up as he looks over at me. I immediately look at the place where there was blood the last time. I can see that it has already healed.

I did that.

It takes everything in me not to feel guilty all over again.

“Come on,” Cassian says, holding out his hand for me to take. I have a small smile on my face as I take his hand.

He makes me sit on his lap and leans in to place a kiss on my cheek.

“You should have called for me,” he says, and I shake my head.

“I wanted a private bath, and I had it.”

He doesn't argue, and that is when I see the food that is laid out for me. As I open the tray, I notice that it has all my favorite food, and I immediately slip off Cassian's lap.

If I wasn't in another room just because I destroyed the other one, then maybe I wouldn't feel guilty. Maybe I would be less bothered about things.

And maybe my throat wouldn't close up slowly as I try to bring the hot croissant to my lips.

I gingerly carry the glass of milk, taking a long, deserved sip.

“You put sugar in?” I ask, and he gives me a small nod.

“Nate told me everything that I needed to know. He said it makes you feel better.”

If my heart doesn't immediately get warm, I don't know what else would do that.

“Well, he wasn't wrong,” I say, taking another sip. I feel better already.

“I'm glad I got everything to perfection,” Cassian says, watching me as I eat. I lean down, taking one of the strawberries and putting it in my mouth. It is the perfect amount of freshness, and it takes everything in me not to react too much.

“There's something I need to tell you,” Cassian says, his voice low. I can immediately tell that it is something serious. I turn to look at him, setting my croissant down.

“What is it?” I ask, and he presses his lips into a thin line, like he is actually thinking about not telling me.

“I would genuinely get angry if you don't tell me,” I say, and Cassian nods.

“I need to keep you confined,” he says, and I feel my stomach turn. The only thing I have is my freedom, him, and Nate. And now, that is about to be taken away from me, all because of some power that I don't want to have.

“I have to do it for you. For Nate. The people of the pack don't have to see you—”

“Lose my mind?” I ask, turning to look at him. I can't cry, and I can't laugh either. “I understand.”

Before I know what I am doing, I pick up my croissant again, taking another bite.

I feel myself shut off my emotions at will, and I only focus on the croissant in front of me. I only focus on how the milk feels on my tongue.

I can't even feel the bond. Cassian is trying to reach me through it, and I am actively blocking him out.

“Nova,” he says beside me, and I don't even turn to look at him. I can feel the power hum underneath my skin.

“Stop,” I order, and it stops immediately. I c**k my head to the side, and Cassian is still trying to reach me through the bond, to feel what I am feeling.

I block him out one more time, and I can feel his hurt.

Good.

I want him to feel it.

I channel all my energy into the power again, and it suddenly starts to hum, with golden threads of energy coming from my fingers. I drop my croissant on the plate, staring at my hands as the energy moves along my fingers, weaving into itself in a perfect pattern.

“What are you doing?” Cassian asks, and I look over at him. His eyes are slowly turning red. He is hurting. He wants to feel me. All of me, and I am not letting him.

I breathe. “I was never meant to feel so much,” I whisper, immediately putting an end to the golden threads. “I'm staying confined to this room, aren't I? I might as well learn new things about myself. Some kind of experiment.”

Cassian pulls me towards him, and I don't pull away.

“I don't want you blocking me out of the mate bond. I want to feel you every f*****g time. Understood?”

There is something about the way he says it that makes heat pool low in my stomach.

I give him a nod, and he looks satisfied. “Do you need anything else?” he asks, and I reach down, taking another bite of my strawberries before looking up at him.

“A nice duvet would do,” I say, and he gives me a small nod.

“I'll be right back,” he says, and I watch him as he walks away.

I already know that it isn't going to be the last time I block him out of the bond.