Dear, Joey

24

We take out the remaining food we had on the table.

I felt tired but we need to go grocery for the stocks.

"I want to ride the cart Tita Mommy?" nguso sa akin ni Jullie. 

Tegan do so, so I just let them be. Namimili ako ng gatas ng masulyapan ko ang dalawang babae na pasekretong kumukuha ng picture kay Tegan at Jullie na nasa kabilang shelves, in their own world laughing.

I put back the carton and go to them. They notice me and try to walk away.

"Hey, stop there Ms.!"

Buti na lang at huminto sila. Nakakuha kami ng atensyon sa mga namimili but I just can't ignore it.

I saw trouble on their eyes but a girl on her mid 20s try to face me.

"Erase it." mariin kung sabi.

"Ano?"

"You two took pictures on us. Let me see your phone" lahad ko ng kamay sa kanya.

"Miss, nagkakamali ka ata" iling nung isa. Holding the other girl arm.

"Nag-pipicture lang kami dito" saad nung isa. I think she's the one who took the pictures.

"Jo, what happened?" lapit sa amin ni Tegan. Staring at the two girls so serious.

"They took pictures on us." I said.

"We're not, nagseselfie lang kami rito!  Tsaka wag ka ngang feeling Ms. Hindi ka naman sikat..."

"Don't give me reasons, I saw what I saw! You took pictures on your phone. Your phone is too low for you to take picture on yourself. This is invasion of privacy Ms."

"I said I didn't do anything! Hindi ko kayo pinicturan" asik nya sa akin trying to reach me but Tegan pushes the girl and block me from them.

"Give me the phone" he said with a deep voice. The two girls seem tremble at parang nanliit sa nangyari. 

"Wala kaming ginagawa Tegan." naiiyak na sabi nung babae.

So, she knows him?

"Give me the phone." he said, again.

I go to Jullie who's watching the scene and hug her arms before pushing the cart away from them. 

"What happened Tita Mommy?" umiling lang ako at tinanaw si Tegan at yung dalawang babae. Tiningnan nya yung phone ng nakakunot noo, typing on something on it. I saw him glaring the girls and say something to them before giving the phone back.

"Is Tito Tegan mad Tita Mommy?" tingala sa akin ni Jullie.

"No Hon.." iling ko and look up to Tegan who stop in front of me.

"Sorry about this." he said watching my reaction.

"I think it's enough for now." I said feeling bad of what happened. This is why I don't go out more often.

"Okay" tango nya trying to hold my hand but I turn to Jullie and put her down on the cart.

He stares at me before going to the back of the cart and push it following us. Tiningnan kami ng mga mamimili that makes me cautious. 

"I can continue to..."

"No Tegan, yung mga maids na lang please. Uwi na tayo." lingon ko sa kanya.

He stares and try to smile. Nothing to say more.

We got Jullie's school supplies before we walk to go to the parking lot.

May mga nakakasalubong kami na tumitingin sa akin at kay Tegan bago kay Jullie na nakahawak sa braso ko.

Parang nakahinga lang ako ng maluwag ng nasa labas na kami ng mall at papunta sa parking lot.

I help Tegan putting the things on the back of the car. I let him fix it while I put Jullie on the back seat. I closr the door when Tegan walks pass me and open the door on the passenger seat.

"Are you okay?" baling nya sa akin.

Tahimik lang akung tumango at pumasok. Fixing my seatbelt and my skirt. He closes the door softly.

Pumasok sya at sumulyap sa akin. I pretend not to see his stare.

Umalis kami ng bahay na maingay, bumalik kami ng tahimik. I help Jullie out of the car while his busy getting the things on the back.

Tumulong sila May sa pagkuha ng nasa loob habang sinasalubong kami ni Mom sa front door.

I kiss her cheek while she has this stare on me.

"There's someone who took pictures on us, take care of Jullie Mom." I said kissing again her again on the forehead.

She has this worried face on me when I walk pass her. Diritso lang ang lakad ko habang paakyat ng hagdan, nasalubong ko si Kuya na nagtataka ang tingin sa akin pero di ko sya pinansin.

I just fix myself, didn't bother to take a shower and just wash my body. I tug the comforter on my body and settle myself on my pillow. Closing my eyes but I can't sleep. 

I twirl and toss around the bed. I sigh and face the ceiling. I startle when my door open and a huge body carefully get in and close the door. He turns to me, but I turn my back to him and tug my comforter above my head. It occurs to me why I'm acting like this. Bakit di ko ni-lock yung pinto?! Damn. I felt my heart starting to beat fast. Lalo na ng lumundo ang kama may humawak sa kumot ko.

"Don't come near me." mariin kung sabi at hinila ang kumot payakap sa akin, still hiding myself around it.

"What's wrong?" he asks. The side on my back deepen and the side of my waist. His hands caging me in between.

I curl more and hide myself on my pillow.

"Get out" tulak ko sa kanya kahit na nasa ilalim ako ng kumot, try to get him off of me.

I sniff and push away my tears, I don't know why I'm crying so suddenly, dahil ba sa tanong nya, sa boses nya, sa presensya nya or pagod lang talaga ko? because I felt exhausted of everything after what happened. Ayuko talaga nun.

"What is it?" he softly asks.

"Alis Tegan." I gasp and breath deep, my hair is on my face already and my tears are around my face, pinapapawisan din ako kahit na bukas ang AC.

He didn't move and just let me breath deeper and cry silently. We were on that position until an air slip in and the comforter push out on my face.

I see him between my hair and my wet eyes. He carefully pushes away the strands and cup my face between his hands.

"What's wrong? Tell me.” he said with his low voice and softness around it. 

I gasp as he weeps the sweat on my forehead.

"L-Last year. I need to go to the supermarket because our maids have things to do. So, I volunteered." I shakily said. I put out my hands to breath, he helps me and lay beside me. I face his side and hug it closer to my body. His eyes didn't even move while watching me.

My hair scattered around my neck and the pillow, on my comforter on his side.

"I was not aware that. A group of boys younger than me, took a picture of me. a lot. Tapos namalaman ko na lang. na pinost nila yun sa social media. They even pass it on the messengers for a malice. Conversation... Tapos…" My eyes blurred and my tears dropped on side. I tried to weep it, but his hand catches my face.

He pushes my head and body towards him and hug me tight on his chest. He remains silent. I was a sobbing mess on his arms.

".. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ganun... I call Kuya Lenuel because that time. He has connections pero pero wala sya sa bansa nun kasi. Kasi nag-stay sya sa Spain nun, I even thought that he meets Jem there. Tapos si Jullienne busy sa promotions of her upcoming movies. H-Hindi ko naman alam nun kung paano... Then Dad help me, he put all his effort to erase my pictures and the comments. He sued those boys and other people involved... I am just scared today. I'm sorry"

He held me close more, kung wala lang sa akin nakabalot na kumot, walang magiging space sa pagitan namin.

"It's not your fault." He said between softness and tight on his voice. I breathe deep, sniffing.

"Ayuko talagang pumupunta sa madaming tao. Lalo na yung hindi ko kilala ang mga tao." I sob closing my eyes and curl myself on his chest.

Paos na ang boses ko sa kakaiyak.

"You need to drink water." agad akung umiling at inakap sya ng isang braso ko.

I felt his hand caress my hair and my close eyes.

I feel really tired that it's just a second, I sleep on his arms.

Nagising akung tanghaling tapat na at wala si Tegan sa tabi ko. Tulala ako ng ilang sandali bago bumangon at nag ayos.

Halatang namamaga ang mga mata ko so I massage it until it turns back to normal a bit. Para lang akung puyat at hindi nakatulog pero ayos na rin.

Bumaba ako ng naka pambahay. Tatawagan ko na lang mamaya sila Jes at maglilibot mamayang hapon sa hacienda.

"May." tawag ko habang pababa ng hagdan but stop when I saw who’s in the living room.

Enrique stands up while Tegan walks to go to me, watching me all the way.

Kuya and Jemaine remain seated.

"Goodmorning" salubong ko. Glancing at Tegan who's held my hand and tug me to the living room.

"Hey" bati ni Enrique with a calculating look.

I smile to him.

"Hey to you too." bumitaw ako kay Tegan at sinalubong sya ng yakap.

Enrique held me close and hug me tight. I was taken a back for a minute before smiling and hug him.

"What's with this atmosphere? Did Cori busted you again?!" nabibigla kung tanong holding Enrique's arm to face him.

"I'm not." tawa nya sa akin.

Lumingon ako Kila Kuya na nasa akin ang tingin. Kumunot ang noo ko. Suddenly Tegan tug me by my waist and pull me to seat by his side.

Enrique took a seat by my side facing me.

"Okay, this giving me chill right now. Bakit ang seryoso?" ngiti ko. Tingin ko sa kanilang apat but they all remain silent.

Nawala ang ngiti ko.

"Is something happened?" kunot noo kung tanong looking at Tegan who's watching me the whole time. He just held me closer.

"Are you okay with us being together again Joey?" napatingin ako kay Jemaine, they have space like they afraid to touch. Kuya Lenuel watch my face and not bother to look away.

"If your happy, why not?" kurap ko.

Jemaine glance at Kuya and to us.

"I'm asking if your okay with it?" she softly said.

I purse my lips and smirk.

"Why bother asking me?"

"Jullieanna, your important to us. Your opinion is important." I stare at Kuya Lenuel when he said that. 

Kuya Lenuel look down when I didn't bother look away from his eyes. Talaga ba? Kailan naging importante?

"Sometimes I wonder why you all ask me this again, if you just taking it for granted." 

"Jullieanna."

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit nyo ginagawa to."

"We need your permission" giit ni Kuya. Trying not to raise his voice.

"Kapag sinabi kung ayuko kayong makitang magkasama? Or magkabalikan? Susundin nyo ba ko?"

I saw Jemaine look away biting her lips and Kuya gripped his both hands.

"Di ba hindi?" napapangisi kung sabi.

"So bakit?" I ask with a soft voice.

They remain silence until Jemaine gasp and look at me with the red eyes.

"Because I love you, Joey." she hopelessly said.

Kumurap ako ng marahan habang tinitingnan ang pagpigil nya ng luha. 

"I'm sorry. Kung nagiging pabigat kami these years."

"Hindi kayo pabigat." iling ko, I felt Tegan's hand on my waist tightened. I sigh slowly and gulp.

"Hindi ko alam... Kung ano? or paano ba?" I sigh again. There's this heaviness on my shoulder and my chest. I'm looking down, thinking deeply.

"All I know that I knew all of your feelings and deepest secrets, I am mentally prepared for it, but my body isn't balance with my brain. The psychologist says that I'm empathetic. It's in my personality. Whenever I found everything about all of you, I analyze it and catch emotions all the way and exhaust me big time, so I regain my energy back when I am alone. Kaya nung alam kung magkakabalikan kayo alam ko yung lahat ng pakiramdam nyo."

I look at them and look away when they all stare at me.

"Kaya umatras ako, when Kuya didn't show up and his going home late, I know from the fact that you're with Jem. It's either on the beach, her house, Dad's rest house or road trips. On the way, you all enjoy being together but what about the future. I knew you both didn't wanna recall the past but in my mind, I am scared because I know about your suffering when you two are apart. It's like you two combined your fears on me, so I told Kuya to take it slow."

I look up and saw them looking down not looking at us.

"So, y-you know mine?" turo ni Enrique sa sarili nya, staring at my face.

"Busted ka na di ba?" Tegan suddenly laughs when Enrique jaw dropped on me.

"You know that I can't stop right now" Ngumiti lang ako kay Enrique. Alam ko naman.

"So, that's why you’re against us?" Kuya Lenuel asked still looking down.

Umiling ako.

"I said take it slow. Hindi ko sinabing hadlang ako sa inyo. I want you to know Kuya, Love can turn into hate. Kung hindi nyo lilinawin ang lahat bago kayo bumalik sa isa't isa, palagi lang kayong magsusumbatan and knowing that, I can't listen to it anymore because I know the result and it hurts to see you both destroying each other." I waited them to talk but they are looking down like nahihiya silang dalawang tumitig sa akin. Jemaine is playing with her sleeves and any minute by now iiyak na sya. I want to go to her to ease her turmoil but No. She has this to herself ever since.

I said before getting up with Tegan.

"I'm hungry" ngumiti sya sa akin at kinuha ang kamay ko. 

"You two, I want to clarify Joey's premonition, or I don't know what it is, but I understand her very well, Kung gusto nyong mag work out to, this time pull out all of your baggage and forgive everything that hurts you. It takes time but it's still in a process, hindi na kayo magkakahiwalay pa. Just take it slow guys. Step by step."

I heard Enrique rants while Tegan and I silently go out of the picture.

I glance at Tegan. He smiles at me when he catches my eyes.

I was fully aware of him ever since. Even though it's hard for the sudden changes, and it'll going to be tough because of our different world.

All I want for now; is I'm starting to see the different light of what it is. By looking at him.

CHAPTER 24

I groan for the third time when a loud noise of my phone filled the air.

Lulugo-lugong tumagilid ako, reaching my phone on the side table and answer it right away. I sigh when I saw his Adam’s apple first before his handsome face. Agad na natawa sya ng makita ang mukha ko.

"I hate you." I murmur taking a deep breath and sigh fixing my hold to my phone. I scratch my eyes trying to see if mayroon ba kung muta sa mata dahil tawang tawa sya sa akin.

Five days ago, when he receives an urgent meeting abroad. Tegan Alfonso Marval have multiple corporations on his hands with his business associate. Hindi ko alam kung gaano ba kalawak ang impluwensya nya at nakakaabot sa dulo ng mundo, pero isa lang alam ko. CEO daw sya na iwan kung chairman na ba or sya lang nagpapatakbo, but all I know is he is rich. Way richer than any politicians.  Ayuko na lang isipin. Bahala sya sa yaman nya.

"Wag mong kalikutin yang mata mo. It's bad" his deep voice filled my room.

"Inaantok pa ko." I said habang namumungay ang mata sa kanya.

Ngumiti lang sya sa akin and do something on his disk. His wearing his necktie and coat, his seating on his grand swivel chair and a white wall, black drawer is his background.

I tug my pillow and hug it.

"Uwi ka na" I said tugging the comforter up of my body. He stops and look at me. That stare again. The stare when there's a warning and softness.

I smile at him.

"Say it again" sabi nya pagkaraan.

I laugh and face the ceiling with the pillow on my chest. Raising the phone.

"Parang sira! Di ba you’re touring around sabi mo?" tawa ko. Taking away those strands on my face.

"I can cancel it..."

"No, Mr. Marval that's unprofessional." iling ko with my smile.

"Now you know." He whispered but I heard him.

"What?" natatawa at nalilito kung tanong.

I saw his smile but vanish it when some noise come on the background. 

"Sir, Ellonor Renova wanted you on the line, she’s asking if your free for dinner?"

"Did I ask you not to disturb me?! If she doesn't have any business in the company, escort her out."

Napakurap ako sa talim nyang magsalita. I think that's his secretary.

"Another woman..."

"Get them out. If it's not my mother don't let anyone in. Ilang beses ko na bang sinasabi to sayo Will?" I think his raising his voice to the employee but try to suppress it a bit because of me.

I get up and seat fixing my hair.

"Mga anak po kasi ng business partners nyo.."

"A-Ahm. I think..." Tegan looks at me when I talk. Nagkasabay pa kami ng secretary na magsalita.

"What is it, Jo?" He fixes the laptop and stare at me.

"Hindi ka pa nagdi-dinner?"

"I'm not hungry" iling nya.

"You need to eat. That's not healthy. Sige na. Tawag ka na lang mamaya." kaway ko sa kanya.

"I'll call you on your phone..."

"No Tegs, baka maging busy ako mamaya. Tsaka gabi na dyan eh. You need to rest." kumunot ang noo nya sa akin but I just smile at him.

"Sige na. I'll call you about 6pm may be. Nakauwi na ko non. Bye."

"That's too long." he complains making me smile.

"Patient is a virtue. Clingy is stingy." I make face on him. He laughs at me. 

Kumaway lang ako at agad na pinatay ang video call. I sigh. Shaking my head before stand up and fix my bed. 

Bumaba ako at nakita ko si Kuyang pababa din ng hagdan with his luggage.

He reaches me to kiss my forehead. 

"San punta mo?" harap ko sa kanya.

"I need to go back to manila." tango nya.

"Kasama si Jem?" ngiti ko. He stares at me and shake his head.

"I don't know. Kung saan kami dalhin, bahala na." he said before tap my shoulder.

Pinanood ko syang bumaba ng hagdan at naglakad palabas with his luggage.

"Take care!" habol ko. Lumingon sya at kumaway sa akin habang nangingiti na lang.

I know I am the one who advice them to take it slow, but they do it in a next level. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o mangangamba but in the middle of it I finally saw Kuya Lenuel growing, hindi na sya nagmamadali, wala na yung Lenuel na nasa safe zone parati pagdating sa relasyon. His taking a risk to this and I'm happy that it's Jemaine who can make him that.

I stare at my phone. Wala pa rin akung nare-receive na voice mail or massage kay Dad. Feeling ko iniiwan nya ko, Kuya Lenuel insist that he talk to him and his fine, so I don't have to worry. That is why I'm worried and annoyed. May time syang kausapin si Kuya pero wala sa akin. Isa lang ang ibigsabihin nun. Iniwasan nya ko and I don't know the reason.

Nasa korte na ang annulment paper nila and by the look at it, ayaw nyang makibalita doon kahit pa hindi nya ko kausapin ng ilang buwan. Even our lawyer is reporting on me via email. Hindi nya rin ma contact si Dad.

I tried to understand the fact that he needs this. Wala na lang akung masabi at ginawa kundi hintayin syang tawagan ako.

I got busy the whole day. Nakasabay ko sila Mom at Jullie sa pagdinner while Tito Henry go back to manila for his business. Jullienne is nowhere to be found even don't know where she is kaya si Kuya ang inabala ko.

"She's on her friends, don't worry." he just said.

Alangan akung nagpaalam but I don't have a choice. That week are rainy, umulan buong linggo dahil may bagyo sa visayas. Mas lalong lumamig kaya palagi akung tulog pagdating ng bahay.

Mom taking care of Jullie so I don't really have a problem aside from our hacienda and the flower farm.

Another week passed and Tegan is well, bothering me non-stop but the good news if it's good news for me, his going home. Nilibot nya ata kasulok sulukan ng mundo sa loob ng mahit dalawang linggong wala sya. The last time I know nasa Morocco sya, kahapon ng tumawag sya Singapore daw. Himala nga at ngayong araw hindi sya tumawag eh.

This is the first time he didn't call for the past weeks. I don't know if something happened, but I think wala naman. Weekend din kasi at pahinga. Baka his taking a day off, may be.

"May, Amy!" tawag ko habang dala ang duffle bag ko sa balikat. Luluwas ako ngayon. I'm meeting Javon, mamayang hapon. I book a hotel for 2 days. Ayuko namang istorbuhin si Kuya ngayon.

"Yes, Joey?" sulpot ni Amy.

I sigh

"Alam ni Mom na aalis ako but tell her na umalis na ko ng maaga dahil mata-traffic ako sa edsa. Kayo ng bahala dito alright?"

"Oo naman Joey" ngiti sa akin ni Amy.

Tumango na lang ako at naglakad palabas. Nasa highway na ko ng mag ring ang phone ko.

"Joey... Let's just meet in a cafe. I don't think makakasabay kitang mag dinner today. Dala ko na yung reports about the productions. Mr. Del Cano personally join us, his available today so I just text the address of the cafe alright?"

"Alright..." alangan kung sabi.

I heard him laugh.

"I heard that he courted you. Seems like he failed?" he teases.

"Shut up, it's not okay. Were not just compatible and he knows it very well. Ma issue ka talaga"

He just laughs at me.

Nag usap pa kami ng ilang sandali bago ako nag paalam.

After 5 hours or so nakarating ako sa hotel at nag check in. I took a bath and change my clothes into formal.

Tumayo ako sa harap ng salamin sa loob ng bathroom. Checking my body. I'm wearing a floral maxi dress knee length, half sleeves. ito lang ang matinong dress sa closet ko bukod sa mahahaba ng dress na palagi kung suot pag nasa kasal or formal gathering. Yung isa nasuot ko na nung kasama ko si Franco. 

It's showing my curve a bit at lumitaw ang pagka-morena ko. I just put small pearl earrings that makes it simple with a one inches sandals for it. A simple make up. Nilugay ko ang buhok ko at kinulot sa ibaba to make it wavy a bit.

Napangiti ako ng makita ang resulta.

I got my small body bag na kasya ang phone ko at maliit na gamit bago lumabas ng hotel. 

Nasa mall ang sinabi ni Javon. Naglalakihang building ang pumalibot sa akin pagpark ko ng sasakyan sa labas ng isang establishment. Ang lalaki ng mga buildings at ang mga taong nakakasalubong ko ay parang nagmamadali, kahit tanghaling tapat na.

I think this is the center of the city.

May nadaanan akung flower shops. I have time so I get in and looks around. Agad akung inapproach ng florist. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang bumili ng red roses dahil sa laki ng mga petals.

Malaki ang ngiting lumabas ako hawak ang bouquet ng mapulang bulaklak. Walking again to go to the mall.

Pinapasok naman agad ako ng guard pagdating ko. Lumakad pa ko at sumakay ng escalator bago narating ang glass door at lumabas ulit, garden agad ang sumalubong sa akin at sa gitna ay isang malaking fountain, sa taas ay salamin ang bubong, hindi naman mainit at presko pa nga ang hangin dahil sa mga halaman. It's like an oval ground.

Nakarating ako sa sinasabi ni Javon na Cafe. Its automatic door, I look around hugging the bouquet. Lahat ng nakita kung costumers ay puro naka corporate attire, or mga di high heels ang kasama nila. Ang garbo ng bar counter na sasalubong sayo pagpasok mo pa lang at puro ata alak ang naka display sa glass wall nila dito, ang taas pa ng ceiling. Nalulula ako. It seems that this cafe is a high-end cafe here in the city.

Aatras na sana ako ng biglang may nagtaas ng kamay sa gilid kung saan tago ng kaunti dahil sa haligi, nasa bandang gitna sila naka pwesto.

Agad akung ngumiti kay Jevon ng masigla syang kumaway sa akin, Franco is looking back at me with his small smile.

"Akala ko naliligaw ako" Natatawa kung sabi habang papalapit.

"You’re not" tawa ni Jevon envelope me with a side hug and kiss my forehead.

"You seem lost there" tawa ni Franco habang pinaghila nya ko ng upuan.

"I am! Pinagti-tripan nyo kung dalawa." tingala kung sulyap sa kanya bago kay Javon na tatawa tawa sa akin. Inayos ko ang bulaklak sa kandungan ko.

"You look like a child when you see the ceiling Hon." tawa ni Javon. Sya lang ata masyadong maingay dito.

"I thought I was in Harry potter, I was like asan ang walis?" Biro ko making them two laughs at me. Franco get my hand and put a pick on it.

"Oyy ano yan? Mr. Franco Del Cano ready to court again?" tukso ni Javon sa amin.

Inirapan ko sya at kinuha kay Franco ang kamay ko.

"Wag ka ngang ma issue Jav. Franco and I are good. May iba na yang gusto. His just a gentleman" I said crossing my legs and smile at Franco.

Natawa lang si Franco sa akin at napailing.

"I didn't inform, tell me." gulat ni Javon na sabi.

"That's for us to know and for you to find out" ngisi ko.

"Wow, ganun na pala yun ha."

"Whatever. I'm hungry. Pakainin nyo muna ko." I said looking at the empty table bukod sa dalawang tasa ng kape wala na.

Nagtawag si Franco ng waiter habang pinakita naman sa akin ni Javon ang reports for the month. Kailangan naming mag adjust because the demands are increasing at hindi madali yun sa part ko. We were planning for this para hindi magkaroon ng aberya sa negosyo.

I was busy eating and listening the two talks for the plans when my tissue falls from the ground.

Agad kung binitawan ang hawak ko at pupulutin sana ng may kamay na kunuha nun. It seems so familiar, but I just put it out of my mind.

"Thank you." I smile to the man and get it on his hand glancing at his side profile, but I didn't expect a face to see.

Tegan is glaring down at me. As in glare. On me.

Napapaubong nanlaki ang mata ko sa kanya habang tahimik syang umalis na parang hindi nya ko sinamaan ng tingin.

Agad naman akung sinakluluhan ni Javon na nasa tabi ko habang inaabutan naman ako ng tissue ni Franco, watching Tegan seat back on the huge oral table on his back. Nasa bandang likod sila ni Franco two table apart from us, sa pinaka gilid ng cafe.

May kasama pa syang ibang kalalakihan dun na napanood ang nangyari. What the hell? What the hell!