Snow and Silk: Sacrificed to the God’s

Trauma

{Arabella’s POV}

Everyone did as I asked, they all left, leaving me alone with my thoughts, which was far worse. I just.. I couldn’t stand for him to look at me, not after the things that he saw. During the time I was unconscious, what happened in that forest played on a never ending loop. I thought I’d be that way forever, never being able to outrun the pain, but also never being able to escape my past.

I decided to take a bath, cleaning myself off well and changing into a nightgown. I couldn’t leave my room.. I didn’t want to risk running into anyone. They know that something bad happened in that forest.. what if they find out what? What if Theluun tells them? I shuttered at the thought, deciding that I’d just sit in the window and get some fresh air.

As I opened it, the vision of the streets below me flooded my brain, taking me back to that time, to that moment. I wanted to jump so badly, but Phillip found me.. that’s when he began chaining my hands to the bed, or chair when he would leave. The vision left, as I backed away from the window, unable to catch my breath. Tears began to stream, and I couldn’t control the sobs that left me as I dropped to my knees, my hair cascading around me like a drape.

I held my hand to my mouth, trying to silence my cries to no avail, when suddenly I felt a large hand on my back. “Hey.. it’s okay..” the voice was deep and gruff, and as I was pulled back against a broad chest I realized it was Theluun. “I know you wanted to be alone.. I made everyone else leave.. but I just couldn’t leave you..” he said, lifting me from my place in the floor and taking me back to bed. He sat me down gently, and brushed the hair away from my face. He gently wiped my tears away with his thumb, but as he did more tears spilled. He looked to the open window, then back to me. “You didn’t jump the first time.. did you?” He asked.

I shook my head. “He caught me..” I whimpered, placing my head in my hands as I cried.

“Hey.. it’s okay now.. he can’t hurt you anymore.” He said, I looked over to him, his large hand rubbing circles on my back.

“I’m still going to die..” I said, looking away. “I’m here to die, your highness.. my pain.. my past.. it’s haunting me, making even my last moments impossible to push through.. you saw.. you saw what they did to me. My own father sold me to Phillip.. and when I broke.. when I couldn’t handle it anymore.. Phillip and my father came up with the idea to sell me as the sacrifice.” I whimpered, closing my eyes and allowing the tears to flow.

His hand stilled on my back, as he kept his eyes on me. “I’m sorry Arabella.. you deserve so much better than this.. you deserve to be happy..” he said, pulling me against his strong chest. His hand rubbing up and down my back. Suddenly I felt his lips against my forehead as he kissed it softly. “I’m so sorry..” he whispered against my forehead, kissing it once again.

I pulled back, looking up at him. “Your highness..” I whispered, staring up at him. “Thank you.. for saving me..” I said, before looking down at my hands which I was now using to fidget with my nightgown, only then realizing how revealed I was. The nightgown went down past my knees, but the bodice was silk, with a lace overlay over my breasts. It was a pale pink color and you could practically see through it.

“It’s nothing..” he said, looking down at my hands.

“It isn’t nothing your highness.. you got me out of there.. that place.. it was like my own he**, and I’m assuming it’s like that for everyone. You came in after me, and got me out of there.. thank you.” I said, turning my attention back to him and smiling softly.

His cheeks began to turn a deep shade of red, as he looked away, nodding. “You’re welcome.. and please, call me Thay..” he said.

“Okay.. thank you Thay.” I smiled up at him again.

His hand came up to the side of my face, resting against my cheek softly. He rubbed his thumb across my cheek. “Are you okay?” He asked. “Be honest with me, it’s the only way I can help.”

I thought for a moment, his hand against my face felt warm, and calloused, but it raised a feeling in me. Joy, warmth, kindness, he was doing this, just to help me. I nodded. “I’m okay.. I’ve moved past most of my trauma’s.. but this, I don’t know..” I sighed, placing my hand softly against the back of his, that was still resting on my face. “It feels like it set me back.. like taking me back to that place, made me back into the woman I was then..”

“You are..” he said softly, catching me off guard. “But what’s so wrong with that? What is wrong with being the woman who was afraid, who was hurt.. you’re still hurt.. you’re still afraid just of different things now. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid Arabella. Everyone is afraid of something.” He said.

“What are you afraid of Thay?” I asked softly, his eyes glimmered with an emotion I didn’t quite catch before it faded away. His hand leaving my face, as he turned towards the window where wind was now weaving in through. “I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have asked..” I said, going back to fiddling with my hands.

He sighed. “I’m afraid of going back to the silence.. to the anger, the resentment.. but I know it’s coming, and there’s nothing that I can do to stop it.” He said, standing from the bed and walking to the door. “You should go explore the castle on your own for a bit.. maybe it’ll help you, but put on some clothes first, in a nightgown like that, NymKarna would lose his mind.” He smiled, turning and leaving my room.