The Alphas Christmas Gamble

3.

Freda’s POV

I can feel my heartbeat in my chest, loud and chaotic as I try to process everything that’s just happened. The cold air bites at my skin, but I can’t seem to move. I’m frozen in place, caught between a past that’s haunting me and a future I can’t yet see.

Seth, Roland, and Luke are standing there, waiting for me to say something. Waiting for me to make sense of the mess we’re in. But I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling, let alone what I want.

Everything inside of me is a swirl of confusion. One minute, I feel like I’m drowning in their attention, and the next, I’m desperately trying to escape it. This isn’t just a holiday kiss; this is something else. Something I can’t quite grasp, and that’s what terrifies me the most.

Seth’s voice breaks through the silence. “Freda, we’re not asking for anything from you. Not right now. We just want you to know that we’re here.”

I glance up at him, my eyes meeting his, and I can see the sincerity in his expression. It makes my stomach flip, and for a moment, I think I might be able to breathe again.

“I know,” I say quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. “I just… I need time.”

Roland chuckles softly, but there’s no humor in it. “Time, huh? You’re not the only one who needs it. But the thing is, we’re not going anywhere, Freda. We’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.”

The words hang in the air, heavy and filled with an unsaid promise. It’s almost like I’m hearing him, but I can’t understand what he’s really saying. I know they’ve been friends of mine for years—hell, we’ve known each other since elementary school—but this… this is different.

I glance at Luke, who’s leaning casually against the brick wall, his eyes studying me in that way that always makes me feel like he’s reading my thoughts. “You know,” he says, breaking the silence again, “this isn’t a race. We’re not competing for your attention. We just want a chance.”

“Chance?” I echo, still not sure what to think or feel. “A chance for what?”

“For you to get to know us,” Seth answers. “For you to figure out how you feel.”

I shake my head, the confusion growing deeper. “But how can I? You three… you’re not like everyone else. You’re different. You’re… Seth, Roland, Luke. I can’t even think straight with you all standing here, acting like this is normal.”

“It’s not normal,” Roland admits, stepping a little closer, his voice low and soothing. “And we know that. But we’re not asking you to just jump into this. We’re just… giving you a choice. What you do with it is up to you.”

I feel my pulse quicken. I don’t know what’s worse—the uncertainty or the fact that I can feel something stirring inside me every time one of them speaks. But I can’t—no, I won’t—let myself fall into this. I can’t let them twist things into something I’m not ready for.

“I’m not ready for this,” I say firmly, shaking my head. “I need space. I need time to think. I need to figure out what this even means for me.”

Seth’s eyes soften, and I see a flicker of something that looks like understanding. He steps forward but stops just short of touching me. “We can give you that. We can give you as much time as you need. But know that we’re not going to disappear. We won’t give up.”

Roland gives a small, almost reluctant smile. “But we won’t wait forever, Freda. Time’s ticking, and we’re not the only ones interested in you.”

My stomach drops at his words. My mind flashes to Zach and Sarah. The thought of them together sends a pang of jealousy through me, something I thought I had buried long ago. But it’s there, raw and fierce, and I don’t know how to handle it.

“I’m not some prize to be won,” I snap before I can stop myself, the words harsh in the air between us. “You’re not the only ones who can give me what I need.”

There’s a tense pause. Seth’s expression hardens slightly, though his eyes remain gentle. “No one’s treating you like a prize, Freda. We just want you to know that we care. We’re not trying to rush you or make you feel pressured.”

“Then stop acting like I’m supposed to choose,” I say, my voice cracking a little. “I can’t handle it. Not now.”

“Then don’t choose,” Luke interjects, his voice surprisingly serious. “You don’t have to choose right now. We’re here for you. Whenever you’re ready. You don’t have to carry this alone.”

For a moment, I just stand there, feeling the weight of his words settle in. The others are right. I don’t have to make a decision tonight. I don’t have to rush into anything, not when I’m still so lost.

“Okay,” I say finally, exhaling a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Okay, I’ll… I’ll think about it. But I need time.”

Seth nods slowly, his face softening. “Take all the time you need. We’re not going anywhere.”

“I mean it, Freda,” Roland adds, his voice suddenly quieter. “We’re here. For you. Always.”

Luke watches me for a long moment, his gaze heavy but kind. “And no matter what, you’re not alone in this.”

I don’t know why, but their words comfort me. I don’t know how this is all going to turn out, but in this moment, I feel like I can breathe. I don’t have to figure it all out tonight. I don’t have to make a choice right now.