The Alphas Christmas Gamble

4.

Chapter 4: Unraveling

I spend the next few days in a state of limbo, caught between wanting to escape from everything and a pull that seems to bring me back to them. It’s like the more I try to push away the thoughts of Seth, Roland, and Luke, the more they creep into my mind. They’re there in every conversation, in every glance, in every whisper of wind that reminds me of the cold night when everything changed.

It’s impossible to ignore them. The pull is so strong, and I’m not sure if it’s because I want to feel this way or because I’m scared of what will happen if I give in.

I should be angry. I should be frustrated. But instead, I’m… confused. All I can think about is how every moment with them leaves me more tangled up in emotions I can’t control.

I’m sitting in my bedroom, staring at the Christmas lights strung along the windowsill. Their soft glow is comforting, but it’s not enough to drown out the thoughts spinning in my head. The doorbell rings, pulling me from my thoughts. I glance at the clock — it’s late, much later than I expected anyone to be here.

I stand up slowly, my heart picking up its pace. Could it be…?

When I open the door, I see Seth standing there. My heart jumps, and for a moment, all I can do is stare at him, unsure of what to say or do. He looks almost nervous, which is strange because Seth is never nervous.

“Freda,” he says softly, his voice warm but tinged with something I can’t place. “Can we talk?”

I nod, stepping aside to let him in. “Sure. What’s going on?”

He runs a hand through his hair, looking around my living room before settling his gaze back on me. “I just… I need to talk to you. About everything. About us.”

I swallow hard, my stomach fluttering. “I thought we agreed to take some time.”

“We did,” Seth agrees, his eyes darkening. “But I can’t keep pretending that I don’t feel like something’s missing. I’ve tried, Freda, but it’s you. It’s always been you.”

I blink, unsure of what he means. “What are you saying?”

He steps closer, his presence suddenly filling the space between us. “I can’t ignore how I feel. I can’t just let you slip away because I’m scared of what might happen.”

My breath catches in my throat. “Seth… I’m not ready for this.”

“I know,” he says, his voice soft, but there’s an intensity in his eyes that I can’t look away from. “I don’t want you to be ready yet. I’m not asking you to choose. I just want you to know that I’m here. That we’re all here.”

I take a step back, my mind racing. “But what does that even mean? You three… it’s too much, Seth. I can’t—”

“I’m not asking for everything at once,” he interrupts, his tone gentle but firm. “I’m just asking for a chance. For you to see us, to see what we could be together.”

I can feel the heat of his words settling in my chest, and despite everything, I can’t deny the truth in them. The idea of us, the four of us, sounds so foreign and yet… familiar.

“What if I can’t give you that?” I ask quietly, looking down at my feet. “What if I can’t choose between you three?”

Seth steps forward, his hand brushing against mine. It’s a small, simple gesture, but it sends a shock through me. “Then don’t. Don’t choose. Just take your time. Just… let me in, Freda. Please.”

I look up at him, the vulnerability in his eyes making my heart ache. He’s not asking for much, but what he’s asking for is everything. And I don’t know if I can give it to him.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Seth,” I confess, my voice trembling. “I don’t know how to handle this.”

“You don’t have to handle it alone,” he says, stepping closer, his voice a soft whisper. “Let us help you.”

The doorbell rings again, this time interrupting the tension hanging in the air. I’m grateful for the distraction. I glance at Seth, and he gives me a small nod before stepping back.

I open the door again, this time seeing Roland standing there, his expression unreadable. He doesn’t say anything at first, just watches me for a moment before his eyes shift to Seth, who’s standing just behind me.

“Did I interrupt something?” Roland’s voice is calm, but there’s a slight edge to it.

Seth gives him a half-smile. “We were just talking.”

Roland raises an eyebrow, his gaze flicking between us. “Talking about what, exactly?”

I take a deep breath, stepping forward to answer. “About… about everything.”

Roland’s eyes soften when they land on me. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I can leave if you need some space.”

“No,” I say quickly, “Stay. I… I don’t know what to do, Roland. Seth just—”

“I know,” he interrupts, his voice soothing. “I know it’s a lot. But we’re here. We’re not going anywhere, Freda. And we’re not going to pressure you into making any decisions. We just want you to see that we’re serious about this.”

“But what is this?” I ask, frustration creeping into my voice. “What do you want from me?”

Roland takes a step closer, his eyes gentle but firm. “We want a chance to prove that we care. To show you that we’re not just… the guys you’ve known for years. We’re something more.”

Seth steps forward again, his hand brushing against mine once more. “We’re asking for a chance, Freda. Nothing more. But we can’t do that unless you let us in.”

The silence that falls between us is thick, heavy with emotions I can’t name. I feel a shift in the air, a crack in the foundation of the walls I’ve built around myself. But I’m not ready. I can’t be.

“I can’t make a decision right now,” I whisper, more to myself than to them. “I need time.”

“We know,” Roland says softly. “And we’re okay with that. We just want you to know we’re here.”

I look from Seth to Roland, both of their faces etched with determination, and I know they mean it. But I also know that this is more than I bargained for. And as much as I want to believe in the possibility of something between us, I can’t help but wonder if I’m in too deep.

There’s a knock at the door, breaking the tension once more. I turn, wondering who it could be, but when I open the door, I’m met with the last person I expect to see.

Luke.

His presence is like a storm, unsettling and yet… calming at the same time. He stands in the doorway, his hands in his pockets, his expression unreadable.

“I thought I’d find you here,” he says quietly, stepping past me without waiting for an invitation. “The gang’s all here, huh?”

I can’t find my words as he looks at Seth and Roland, his eyes dark but playful. There’s something in his gaze that makes my stomach flutter. And as he turns to me, I realize something: Luke has a way of making me feel like I’m the only one in the room, even when I’m surrounded by everyone else.

“I didn’t want to miss out,” he adds, flashing a half-smile. “Besides, I thought you might need someone to remind you that you don’t have to do this alone.”

I don’t know how to respond. Seth and Roland have been here, talking to me, sharing their feelings, while Luke just shows up like this, like he’s always been here, like he’s always known what I needed.

“You’re not alone,” Luke continues, his voice so steady, so certain. “Not while we’re here.”

I swallow hard, the emotions rising up inside me like a tidal wave. I’m drowning in it all. In the feelings they’re giving me. In the weight of their expectations. And in my own confusion.

And then, without thinking, I step forward, pulling Luke into a hug. I don’t know why. I don’t know what it means. But in this moment, in this place, with all of them surrounding me, it feels right.

His arms wrap around me, strong and comforting, and I close my eyes, letting the world fall away for just a moment. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know what comes next. But maybe, just maybe, I don’t have to figure it all out tonight.

I pull back slowly, looking up at him, and he meets my gaze with a quiet understanding. Seth, Roland, and Luke are all waiting, watching me, but this time, I don’t feel as lost.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I whisper, more to myself than anyone else.

“You don’t have to,” Seth says softly.