Feelings: Received

Chapter 1: Matt

The new boy’s name was Matthew Truman. “But call me Matt for short,” he said. Matt was tall and had dark hair, and cold, dark eyes. He didn’t seem to smile. I didn’t mind him at first, until he sat beside me at the back of the class. The sun glinted off his perfect skin like it would a statue of a Greek god. The sun reflected on his hair perfectly. Eyes followed him, and I saw a few girls scowl as he chose the seat beside mine.

He called my name and broke me from my trance, “Alyssa, right?”

“Right.”

“Our homeroom teacher said you’d show me around later?”

“Oh, yeah. Right. The two class officers are unavailable, so the class secretary will be the one to show you around then.”

“Great.”

That was the end of our conversation, until we began the school tour.

The thing about Wildergreen High is that its campus is relatively small and close-knit. You’ve got the cafeteria, the library, the gymnasium, and a rather larger than most field for football practice, but that’s about it. There’s nothing else to see. The audio visual rooms on the other building have shown some signs of having been left behind by the times, and the classrooms haven’t exactly been repainted properly.

“Why did your parents make you go here?” I asked Matt.

“You don’t have to make small talk if you’re just being forced to do this.”

“I’m not making small talk! I’m genuinely interested.”

“Okay, well our finances ran out. My family’s going bankrupt. My parents are on the brink of divorce. I’m thinking of getting into a good college as soon as I can so I can get out of that hell hole.”

It was not what I expected from him.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I began, but he stopped me.

“You don’t have to be sorry. You weren’t the cause of all this. It’s a relatively nice campus. What happened to the class president and the vice president? Why couldn’t they be the ones to show me around?”

“Well, the vice president…died in an accident a month ago. The president needed to cope. He’s severely depressed, and hasn’t been to school the entire time.”

“I see. So it’s you from here on?”

“I haven’t actually ever been the one in the spotlight before.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“It’s always been them, you know. They did everything together,” I didn’t expect that type of honesty, but it seemed liberating to tell a complete stranger about everything that I was feeling in that moment, “I was always just…secretary, third wheel. Good old Alyssa. I seemed good enough for things, but I was never the best, you know? Not even for—”

I stopped myself there, but it was too late. Matt had a strange smirk on his face that I wanted to slap off.

“Is there anyone?” he asked.

“This is pretty brave of you, for a new kid!”

“I’m new. So? You were the one who opened up first. Let’s see,” he put a finger to his chin and pretended to think, “The class president was the guy, wasn’t he?”

I blushed, as if saying yes. He laughed, which surprised me at first, and then annoyed me.

“What’s it to you?”

“Alyssa!” We had just finished the tour then, and we were standing by the football field. Richie was waving at me from the other side. Someone was with him. I didn’t care much about it anymore, but the redness was growing across my face. It was Jackson.

“So that’s him, is it?” Matt asked. I didn’t answer, but I did walk towards where the two were standing.

“Hey,” I said shyly. Jackson had lost a lot of weight. He used to be as big as Richie, since they were both athletic. Now he was only a husk of a person. His eyes were deeply sunken, and he avoided people’s looks. He was very pale, and his dark hair seemed unwashed and greasy. He hid his hands inside a loose hoodie’s pockets.

“Hey.” Jackson said flatly.

“Look who visited us!” Richie grinned, putting his arms around mine and Jackson’s shoulders. Richie had just gotten into the football team, and was extremely elated about it. He had been training with Jackson all year to get into it. And yet, the former star player whom everyone looked up to, was now standing before us as an emaciated zombie.

“Ahem,” Matt cleared his throat. “Oh,” I said, quickly snapping out of my reverie, “Guys, this is Matthew Truman, the new student.”

“Hey, new kid,” Richie gripped Matt’s hand tightly into a firm handshake.

“Hey,” Jackson said again, raising one hand but not interacting with Matt.

“So glad you could visit,” I turned my attention again to Jackson, “Everybody’s been worried about you.”

“I needed to get some papers for my leave of absence,” Jackson said coolly, as if we had not been chatting the night before. Then again, I realized he was talking to Melody, and not me. He was so happy and animated in the texts. He said he had bought a few classics and was planning to read one every week. He also said he made a few new friends online through his games. He seemed okay. But of course, it was totally different in real life. I wasn’t Melody, I wasn’t the girl he wanted to see in front of him.

“Hope to see you around more, though. It’s been really less lively without you.”

“Alyssa’s been the final pillar holding the class together!” Richie exclaimed. I pushed him aside, “No, that’s not really true. Things have just been different.” I avoided the topic of the accident. Instead, I decided to venture, “You wanna hang out at the arcade later? Mr. Maloney’s still the guy manning the counter, haha.”

Jackson shot me a look first, before conceding, “Sure. I have nothing better to do anyway.”

“Can I come with you?” someone suddenly said. We all looked around to see Matthew Truman grinning at us. “I just moved to the town. The least you could do is show me around as well, Ms. Alyssa.”