Rose

Chapter 8. Rose

Rose’s pov.

I hadn’t thought of it like that, obviously I realised that when I came round from the transfusion, they hadn’t followed Tol’s orders. But there was nothing I could do about it. It was a fete accompli the wolves had taken matters into their own hands. And I quickly realised Daryn was not the worst wolf they could have picked. He’s huge, a massive wall of muscle, big broad shoulders, hands that look like shovels and this slightly goofy look. His eyes are a really deep blue, like the ocean when there is no bottom, almost black. His dark sandy coloured hair is soft and straight. His skin is a rich golden tan from being outside and his biceps bulge out of his short sleeve shirt without him having to flex them. I catch myself wondering if all of him looks like that. Naughty thoughts! I know it’s the blood working but to be honest apart from the fact he is like a solid wall beside me, as we walk out of the house the transfusion took place in, I feel utterly safe. Who’d have thought a whole pack of wolves and I feel so safe! The Dr who did the transfusion looks like a slightly sleeker, slimmer version. I don’t know if all wolves look like this or if they are related. I guess related. I’m trying not to run when I smell the other vamps. I know Tol and Bek will be there, Letty and Edward too. It feels like ages since I set out with Edward’s little red car to drive to the wolves. To deliver Tol’s message. And somehow, I have survived crashing into their pack. Not only survived, been fed. And somehow fed by this huge, beautiful, gentle giant. Linked together forever to him. I’m so happy but also totally calm. I could walk in this wolf’s shadows for ever. I have total faith he would never do anything to hurt me. I am safe. Throughout the day I only have to look to where he is to feel calm. When he had to condemn his brother, my heart broke for him. When he had the meeting to plan for the attack, I wanted to give him every drop of my strength. So, I sat at his feet. I hoped my presence was enough to make him strong. I am so content to offer him his whole life full of calm and happiness. I know he is the king’s son, a prince who will one day take over. There is a battle ahead, but I have no fears for him. We will win.

I know that by refusing to drink I have created this, my weakness led Tol and Bek to agree to help the attack. Their plan was for the wolf blood to make me strong. My refusal to feed properly has endangered the group. Edward and Letty argued long through the years with me. Begging me when my hunger became great, just to feed, to drink. A friendly Dr who diagnosed me a haemophiliac and in urgent need of transfusions saved my life. I would have slowly desiccated into a husk. Entombed into a mummy. Buried or put in a museum case to preserve me. Eternal torment locked inside a dry shell. I would rather have that than kill someone. I am again saved by this wonderful wolf. His acceptance and willingness to see past thousands of years of hatred saved me. His father’s refusal to follow Tol’s orders saved me. And locked me into them. The queen has said I now carry her son’s blood, so I am considered family. No one wanted to point out after killing the other one we all carry her son’s blood. Wolves are strange, by rejecting their own they see to be able to disengage emotionally from them. No longer care. Perhaps that was why they could do what they did. Denounce his crimes and sentence him. I’m glad I had no need to be there when it happened.

I feel so much better for those children, I know we helped them, lead the wolves to them, Letty and Bek were able to heal and take away the memories. The wolves didn’t seem to have thought of this before. A skill we have but they don’t. I’m looking round the room, those who stayed to join the feast, are talking to wolves. Who would have thought that this would happen? Wolves and vamps sharing a table, even laughing together. And the way Dr James is looking at Letty, whew! I don’t think they need to share blood to see that bond!

So now I am sat here, so happy to be touching him, him, my wolf. Not just touching but sitting on his lap. His fingers on my back, only fabric clothing separating us from each other. I can feel his heat. He’s like a furnace. Warming me.

Listening to Tol, sitting my wolf’s lap, feeling his hand draw gentle soothing circles on my back. Knowing he is thinking about a future, our future, I just want to run. What if something has gone wrong? What if I can’t be with him? What if there is no lasting effect? What if I am hurting him? Forcing him into something he doesn’t want? What if there was a she wolf he liked?

“Perhaps we need to talk?” he says.

I am devastated. That’s it! I nod quietly, saying nothing. The pain must have been etched across my face. Bek smiles comfortingly at me. She can see his face. I can’t from this position but there is no way I want to look into his eyes. See his confusion, his rejection. What if he can turn me away as he did his brother? Will he move on without me?

Taking my hand in his huge paw he gently pulls me away from his leg, I stand quickly. Looking at the floor, I don’t want this. I was never the strongest person before Tol found me, starving to death because I refused to sell myself for food. I’m not even a proper vampire, I’m this pathetic half thing. And now Tol has told him this he’ll reject me. I don’t want him to say it where everyone can hear. I let him lead me outside. Away from the big house, the den. We walk hand in hand back towards the house where the transfusion happened.

Beside me his huge shape walks slowly through the dusk. I dread but need this. His huge hand gripping mine firmly. But he isn’t dragging me along. He isn’t forcing me. I could pull my hand away and I don’t think he would stop me. But I let him lead. Trailing slowly beside him, awaiting his decision. Every step forward in silence my heart cracks more. The pain is very real.

Once we reach the little cabin, he opens the door. Turning on the lights as he enters the living room, closing the curtains and stooping to put a match into the fire set ready in the fire place. The cabin is warm and basic. Its not missing anything really but has no women’s touch. No scatter cushions, no art on the walls. Its manly and functional. Daryn turns towards me, I wait by the door. Glancing around, I don’t want to appear nosey, but you can tell a lot about someone by their home. His is basic and functional. No frills, nothing extra. Just like him. Solid, basic and dependable.

“Would you like a drink?” he asks, its such a common politeness, manners really, I know he isn’t thinking, what do I need a drink for? I’ve never drunk. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. I stare at him; he just shrugs and walks towards a small kitchen. Opening a cupboard, he takes 2 glasses out and pours a couple of fingers worth of whisky into one. Its not the peaty Scottish whisky that his father and Edward drink. It’s the bourbon of America, sweeter and stickier, it’s a vanilla rich, berry noted alcohol.  I can see it swirl down the glass. He turns back to the sitting room and sits on the couch.

“Rose” he says “Please sit with me?” he pats the seat beside him. I perch nervously on the edge of the cushion. “are you happy about this? I mean really? Truthfully?” he starts “because I am!” I turn my head super-fast and stare at him, open mouthed. “I mean…” he faulters “If you aren’t, I guess I can cope. I can’t and wont ever stop you leaving. I won’t ever try and make you do something you aren’t happy with because I’m not like that. I mean……” another pause and a deep breath. He’s looking at his drink, he isn’t looking at me “I rally want to ask you to stay, here. With me! But you didn’t sign up to be tied to a wolf.”

“Nor did you” I say quietly, but he isn’t listening.

“A lot has happened in the last few hours; I mean I have discovered my pack is at risk from an attack. My brother was an evil bastard. Vampires can be friends and maybe more. That vampires want to help us and that I really really want to be closer to you. I guess it’s the blood joining us talking but I need you to know that I don’t want you to go after the battle tomorrow. But if you have to, I won’t stop you!”  He sighs and looks at the glass. Takes a big gulp of the drink and finally looks up at me. I think that’s the longest speech I have heard him say since he sentenced his brother. I guess he’s more of a thinker than a talker.

I slide back and across the couch, picking up his big meaty mitt in my hand I look at the size and strength in his fingers, how the skin is glowing and I can see the blue-green veins. Turning his hand over I look at the creases that trace his future across the palm. His long life line, his steady heart line and a very very strong fate line. There seems to be no marriage line below his little finger.

“Oh Daryn, I want to be with you. Please don’t ever think I don’t. But you are going to be the King of these wolves, you cannot be a king alpha with a vampire as a mate. You need to have your own family, your own babies. You need to make a prince to be king after you. I can’t do this. I’m a vampire! The most natural enemy of your people. Just because this is an exceptional time to be living and trying to stay safe does not mean that in 5, 10 or even 50 years you will think the same. I don’t want to leave you but this isn’t fare on you. Your Father did this to you. You had even less choice than me. I knew what could happen, you had no idea. Your pack and family even less. Eventually you will hate the way people look at you knowing that I am a vampire, I don’t want them to be pitying you because of me.”

His big hand slowly closes around mine; he flexes the big powerful bicep muscles and slowly pulls me to his side. Resting the now mostly empty glass on the arm of the couch, he scoops me up to sit across his lap. He looks down into my face. He searches my eyes but I don’t know what he wants to see there. I can only worry that someone so gentle as I feel he is will be hurt, ostracised by his people. He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the couch. He almost humms as he breaths, the tone changing towards the end of the out breath. He’s thinking. I wait quietly, still. The pulse in his exposed neck is hypnotising. The bob of his adam’s apple as he breaths and swallows, the little jumps the muscles under his skin make as he almost speaks his thoughts makes me really want to sink my teeth into him. Really really want to. I can feel my teeth lengthening. I have never wanted to bite anyone before. Not even at my truly hungriest the thought always made me feel slightly sick and repulsed. That’s why I could never bring myself to do it. But sat here, on his lap, his full trust in me showing as he exposes his throat. I swallow sharply. His eyes flick open and he stares at my mouth. My teeth are showing! He meets my eyes.

“Thank you for not” he says. I close my eyes this time and breath deeply and slowly to bring myself under control. “And that’s another thing. How will you feel when I need to drink?”

He laughs a little, “Easy, I’ll give you my blood. A transfusion a day, or week or whenever you need it!” he says. “I’m not worried by that. But I can’t ask you to leave your family or friends to be here with me, I can’t ask you to live amongst those who are your sworn enemy. I want you to feel safe. To be safe. Not looking over your shoulder every second to see if someone has holy water or is about to rip you apart and feed you to a fire!”

We are at an impasse. Neither will give way on wanting to spare the other. This is ridiculous. I decide to give in a little bit. I lean forwards very quickly and kiss him. I let my lips press hard against this, I feel his lips part with the shock of the sudden movement. I’m full of his blood I can move much faster than he can see if I want to.