VII
1038 Words
“Aunt Alicia?”
I knocked on her room’s door.
“Yes?”
I heard her shout from the inside.
“Can I come in? I’m bored. Grandma went out. Mom’s sleeping. You're the only one I could mess with.”
“Suit yourself, young man.”
I opened the door and went inside. She’s sitting in front of her laptop, busy typing.
“Are you busy?”
“Not really. What do you want to do?”
“It’s okay. I’ll just sit on your bed. I’ll throw in some questions from time to time though.”
“Fine with me.”
She then went back to typing on her computer. She would smile wickedly from time to time.
“Are you doing something bad, Aunt? You look like you are with the way you smile.”
“Maybe.”
She wiggles her eyebrows at me. I got curious so I stood beside her. She’s chatting on Snapchat.
My eyes widened when I saw their conversations. I now know why she’s smiling like a witch. She’s telling whomever she’s chatting with that she’s a mistress of a 70-year-old man.
“Oops, read at your own risk. There are some unfiltered words here. If you want to take the risk of losing some of your innocence, then go read. If not, go out and sleep beside your Mom.”
“Shouldn’t you scold me for trying to read in your conversations? Or tell me not to be nosy because it’s bad?”
She looks at me like she’s saying, ‘Seriously? Me? Going to scold you?’. Yeah, right. She is not like the others.
“As if I would. If I do that, it would only make you more curious. You will get uneasy from wondering too much, so no, I won’t stop you. But at your own risk, I’m not going to be responsible if you get something bad out of it. You are just like your Mom when we were young. Too curious for your own good.”
“Mom? She’s great at self-control.”
“Let’s just say that she changed for the better.”
I can’t believe that Mom is a curious type of person. Well, seeing how she’s acting around her sister? It’s not impossible.
“Do you want to read my conversation with other men?”
Before I could answer, she closed her conversation with that Andreas guy. She has 5 ongoing conversations.
“Look at whom your Mom and Grandma added on this account. This Nick guy is an Indian-Canadian. Thomas is an American. Ace is a Singaporean. Erik is Swedish. And lastly, the conversation I had with Andreas that you just saw. He’s German. What do they think of me? Representative of the UN?”
Is she seriously questioning our family’s characteristics? When she just told the German guy that she's in a relationship with a 70-year-old man, much more a mistress? Mom and Grandma’s sanity should be the least of her concern. She should prioritize hers.
She opened her conversation with Thomas. In this conversation, she asked the guy if he was rich. She said she wanted her future husband to be filthy rich so she could buy a lot of expensive things. And if she wanted to run someone over in her car, she could just give compensation to the victim’s family without the need to serve jail time. Even me, a child, knows that if I was this guy, I would not respond after.
Next is Erik. She told him that she already had 12 children. That as young as 13 years old, she was already pregnant. And all her children have different fathers.
Then with Ace. When he asked her what she looked like, she answered, "I look like myself." Of course, you look like yourself. That's more common than common sense. He ignored her remark and asked for a photo instead. She sent him an edited photo of herself. She made her hair look like she never knew what a comb was. She made her teeth crooked. Her nose? She could be a Pinocchio based on how long she stretched it.
And lastly, Nick. She said that she's been married three times. She divorced her past husbands to get alimony. She also said that her savings are almost running out. That's why she’s looking for her fourth husband. And now she’s a gold-digger? When is she going to run out of crazy ideas?
“It’s funny, right? I didn’t know Snapchat could be this fun.”
Her computer rang. Erik is calling. He didn’t believe her. He said he only believes what he sees.
“Are you going to answer it, Aunt?”
“Of course. And you’re going to help me.”
Huh? Before I could ask her what she meant. She made me sit in her lap, then answer the call.
“Hi!”
She cheerfully greeted Erik.
“Hi.”
“Son, say hi as well.”
She nudged me. Son? I obliged anyway.
“Hi.”
I said awkwardly.
“This is my seventh child. Isn’t my son handsome?”
“He is.”
Erik is now becoming uneasy. I think he now believes my Aunt’s nonsense.
“Say thank you, Tob. He’s going to be your new future Dad. You and the rest of your siblings. It’s a shame that your sisters and brothers are currently taking a nap and can’t greet Erik. ”
Erik winced. Aunt and I are trying so hard not to burst out laughing.
“Uhm, nature’s calling me. I’m going to end this call now. Nice talking to you, Alicia.”
The call ended, then we laughed out loud. Erik’s face is so funny. He looked like he was keeping a s**t from going out. Hahahahaha
“That was a good one, Tobias.”
“My Mom would kill me if she learned that I was helping you with your craziness.”
“Then let’s make sure that this stays between the two of us.”
She winked at me. I winked back. Mom’s right, I shouldn’t have gotten close to Aunt Alicia. Once you do, you can’t stop yourself from getting involved with her.
- Writer
