Supernatural One Shots

What Your Fighting For

Dean x Reader

Sometimes someone just needs to be reminded what their fighting for.

Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap

Squeezing your eyes shut you tried to drown out the annoying sound of Kevin's foot tapping on the floor. Trying hard to block it out you continued to focus on the book in front of you. After a few minutes enough was enough, looking up you were about to unleash your frustration when you were shocked at his state.

For the first time you seemed to really notice the dark circles under his eyes, the weight he had lost, and the anxious exhaustion he was displaying. Leaning back in your chair you thought about how tirelessly he worked on the tablet, doing his best to translate anything that could be useful.

Thinking it over for a moment you closed your book and stood up. Kevin never even acknowledged when you left the room but once he heard music playing his head snapped up. Looking around he noticed you standing beside the table, grinning at him like a little kid. "Dude come on!"

He stared at your offered hand but shook his head, "No thanks, I've almost got another piece solved." He tried looking back at his work but you stepped forward and turned his chair. Bending down to eye level you met his confused stare, "Kevin, hun your running on fumes. The guys left me here to take care of you and protect you, which is kinda hard to do when your hurting yourself." Grabbing his hands you pulled him from his seat.

"Take a break! Have some fun! Come on Kevin don't make me get my groove on alone!"

Frowning at you he almost turned back to the table, you could see the indecision on his face and tried one last tactic, "Kevin, we're all working as hard as we can, you especially. But in the end you have to remember what it is your trying to protect, what your fighting for. Come on, help me create a memory you can look back on and laugh about."

Giving you a small smile Kevin nodded, "Okay, but only for a little while."

Squeezing his hands you began dancing wildly around the room, twirling each other around and making fun of each others moves. After a while you noticed Kevin begin to laugh harder and longer, a true smile on his face. The light in his eyes shining brighter than you'd seen in months. You were there when the guys first met Kevin, you'd been hunting with the Winchesters for what felt like forever and you remembered the nerdy kid whose whole world was turned upside down once he became a prophet of the lord.

Sam and Dean were currently out on a hunt for a wraith, the damn thing was proving to be difficult to find in a small town out in Nebraska but from their last phone call it sounded like they were finally closing in. You'd volunteered to stay behind figuring they could handle it and feeling as though someone should stay with Kevin. Sam had agreed and Dean just simply nodded before heading to the impala.

Dean had become some what distant from you lately, only speaking when necessary and giving you a wide berth when he could. You didn't take it personally, you just figured he was in one of his brooding moods and would get over it eventually. He'd always been one of your best friends, since you joined them both brothers had grown close to you. Sam was like the brother you never had and you knew you could trust him to protect you no matter what.

Dean however was another story, you knew right away Dean had the potential to break your heart with his dorky smile and fierce loyalty to his brother. After you got to know him it only confirmed what you suspected, he was a love em and leave em type, not the type to stick around. You decided it was okay, he was still one of your best friends and you couldn't imagine your life without him. Even if you couldn't be with Dean it didn't mean he couldn't be a part of your life.

At least that's what you told yourself for the first few years, the past year had gotten harder though. After all the close calls and actual deaths you were beginning to crack a little whenever you had to watch him flirt with a woman at a bar or diner. Every time he shot that smile at someone else your heart cracked a little more. You knew you were only hurting yourself by loving him but it's not like you could control it. Each time you became upset you just reminded yourself that it was fine, you were fine.

You tried to be the positive one for the guys, whenever it felt like you were taking two steps back in a case, you reminded them how to jump four steps forward. Always trying to remind them exactly what they were fighting for.

Just like in this moment, you adored Kevin and it made you beyond happy to see him goofing off and being a kid. He never deserved to have his life torn apart, but in this moment he was laughing and having fun, for one moment his dark day brightened. Just as Kevin began to twirl you again the front door of the bunker opened, Sam and Dean stood in the doorway, staring at the scene before them. Noticing the brothers you tapped Kevin's shoulder and pointed.

Walking towards the wall you shut off the music and laughed, "Hey boys, you guys find the wraith?"

Sam grinned, "Yeah we finally tracked him down, it was pretty easy from there. You guys looked like you were having fun, did Kevin find out something from the tablet?"

Shaking your head you looked at Kevin beside you and draped an arm around his shoulders, "Nah, poor guy was working too hard so I suggested a little recess. He's definitely earned it." Sam nodded, agreeing. Looking up the stairs you noticed Dean beginning to come down, "Dean you okay?"

Reaching the bottom of the stairs he threw his duffle bag on the table, looking up at you and Kevin you immediately knew he was angry. "Me? I'm great, we just ganked a wraith while we wait for our local prophet here to decipher the tablet so that we can finally solve our little hell problem. Only when we get back it looks like he's partying, not working. Gotta hand it to ya Y/N I assumed you actually cared about solving the tablet but I guess I was wrong."

Your arm dropped from Kevin's shoulder and the room seemed to freeze along with everyone in it.

Sam looked at his brother with a dark frown, "Dean, what the hell man?"

Looking at his brother Dean crossed his arms, "What Sammy, here we are busting our asses trying to slam shut the frigging gates of hell but she's giving him dance lessons instead?"

Guilt flowed through your body, although you weren't sure what you were guilty for. "Dean I didn't mean...I wasn't trying to..."

"Save it Y/N, you know I'm not even surprised at this point. Your always so damn happy and trying to make us feel better but you know what, we hunt monsters! We face evil everyday and sometimes we just don't need a reminder of what we can't have! You make everything so much harder than it has to be! Why can't you just do the damn job like we ask you too! All you had to do was keep an eye on him in case anyone showed up, not baby him and keep him from working! It's like you don't give a damn about helping us at all!"

At this point Sam's face turned red and he stood to his full height, "Dean! That's enough!"

Throwing up his arms Dean turned and walked back up the stairs, "I'm going out, do what you want."

As the door slammed shut no one said anything for a moment, you felt as though your heart had fell to the floor and shattered. Dean was angry with you, and by the sound of it he had been for a while. Sniffing to help hold in the tears you fought back you turned to Kevin, "Kevin maybe you should get back to it, but listen, you seriously need to take care of yourself. And I don't mean just eating and sleeping, I mean mentally too, give your brain a break once in awhile, it will help."

Kevin nodded and walked back to his chair, as you turned to leave the room you heard his voice call out your name. Turning around you shot him a questioning look, "Thanks for the memory." Giving him the best smile you could you turned and began walking down the hall towards your room. You couldn't help the tears beginning to fall and had just reached the door when an arm shot out and blocked it.

"Y/N"

Looking up into Sam's face you almost cried harder, the concern and love there broke you even more. "Sam it's fine, he's just in a pissy mood and is taking it out on me. I'm a big girl, I can take it."

"But you shouldn't have to, I don't know what got into him. He knows how hard Kevin's been working and how much you've been trying to help. Don't listen to what he said, he didn't mean it."

Nodding your head you gave him a small smile, "Okay Sam, I'm gonna go to bed now, goodnight."

Reaching up on your tip toes you kissed his cheek and turned to walk into your room, slowly closing the door on his lost puppy face. Leaning back against the wooden door you felt more tears fall. Shaking your head in resignation you wiped both hands down your face and pushed off, walking towards your bed. Sitting on the edge you replayed everything that had happened. Then you began thinking back on the past couple months, Dean really had been icing you out. You thought maybe it was a bad mood but now you weren't so sure.

Thinking back you realized maybe you were too much, maybe Dean really didn't want you around anymore, maybe you really did make things harder on the guys. As much as it pained you to say, you started to believe some of what Dean said. Looking at your nightstand you stared at the photo you kept there facing your bed. It was taken a year ago after you and the guys took out a rather nasty banshee. You were sitting on babys hood, legs dangling off the side, Sam leaned against the passenger door face scrunched up in laughter. Dean stood on your other side, facing the camera he was holding to capture the moment.

Sighing you thought maybe it would be best if you left for awhile, maybe some space would help Dean get over whatever was going on. You'd hunted alone before the guys, you could do it again. If he really felt you were causing problems here you didn't want to make it worse. The thought of leaving Dean hurt but you knew it was probably for the best. Standing up you pulled your duffle bag from under your bed and began filling it with your clothes and weapons.

Not knowing how long it would take before you felt ready to come back you pulled out a second bag and finished packing everything you could. The last thing you set inside being the picture, wrapped in a shirt so it wouldn't get broken. Hanging a strap across one shoulder and picking up the other bag you looked around the room slowly, memorizing it. It's for the best, the guys will be okay, and maybe Dean will be happier if I'm not around to irritate him.

Shutting off your light and closing the door you quietly made your way down the hall, as you passed Sam's door you heard soft snores coming from inside and smiled. Once you reached the main room you looked up to see Kevin sitting there, concentrating hard. When he heard you set down your bags he looked up, eyes going wide once he realized what you were doing.

Standing up he walked forward, "Y/N you can't leave, Dean was just being an ass he didn't mean what he said. I'm sorry for causing the fight, I knew better than the stop working." Becoming irritated you frowned, stepping forward you wrapped your arms around Kevin in a tight hug, "Don't apologize, I meant what I said earlier, keep creating memories Kevin. You'll need them one day."

Pulling back you gave him a half smile and leaned over to grab your bags, walking towards the door you stopped as you made it to the staircase. Turning back slightly you gave him one more smile, "I'll be back Kevin, I just think space is what's best for right now. And you can call me anytime you need me, I'll always be here for you."

Walking up a few steps you stopped again, taking a deep breath you looked down at your feet, "And tell Dean I'm sorry."

Not looking back you made it up the stairs and out the door. Stopping outside you pulled out your phone and deactivated the GPS. Slipping it back in your pocket you tried to choose between heading out on foot or taking a car from the garage. Deciding on the easier option you made your way into the garage and looked around for the best one to take. Your gaze stopped on your favorite out of everything in the garage, smiling you made your way over and dropped your bags.

Dorothy's Indian was beautiful and you loved taking it out once in awhile. You were the only one who did so you figured the guys wouldn't miss it. Shoving your bags into the side carriers you grabbed the key from the wall. Climbing on you started the engine as you placed the helmet on your head. Pulling out you made your way outside and sped towards the road. Once you pulled up to the main road you stopped, looking left then right.

Where do I want to go? Figuring one place was as good as another you turned right and headed west. The weight in your heart grew heavier with each mile but you refused to turn around. This was what Dean wanted, you were fine, you were always fine.

After a couple drinks at the local bar and a few hours of feeling like a complete asshole Dean realized he needed to go home and apologize to you. He wasn't sure what prompted him to act like he had, all he knew was he came back to the bunker, exhausted and anxious to see you. Once he walked through the door though his heart stopped, you were dancing and laughing with Kevin and you'd never looked more beautiful.

Dean always loved hearing you laugh and seeing your smile always brightened his moods, but not this time. Seeing you so happy and carefree just reminded him he didn't deserve someone like you, someone good, someone he couldn't see die because of him. What happened after was just a product of his own self hatred, and unfortunately he had taken it out on you.

Walking into the bunker he saw Kevin sitting hunched over the table, as he walked closer he realized he was actually asleep. He walked away quietly, knowing he was exhausted and needed any sleep he could get. Making his way to your room he thought you were asleep since no light shone from under the door. Knocking lightly he slowly opened the door, "Y/N? Hey wake up..."

As he came to stand beside your bed he leaned forward and switched on the lamp sitting on your nightstand. The first thing he noticed was the picture you loved not in its usual place, looking at the bed his eyes widened when he realized you weren't there.

Quickly dropping to his knees he looked under your bed and swore loudly when he didn't see your duffle bag. Hitting the bed with both fists he stood up, just as he reached the doorway Sam walked up with a confused look. "Dean if your yelling at her again I swear..."

Looking up to meet his brothers eyes Sam noticed the pain in them, "She's gone Sammy."

Eyes growing wide Sam stepped forward to look around your room, "No, no she wouldn't just leave. Y/N!"

Turning around Sam quickly made his way around the bunker, coming into the main room he kept shouting for you but never received an answer. Kevin woke to Sam's yelling and frowned at him, "Dude she's not here."

Dean looked up at Kevin's voice, "Where'd she go?"

Kevin's shoulders dropped and he looked at the floor, "She said to tell you she was sorry, when I told her not to leave she said it wasn't forever. She just felt like you needed space from her for awhile."

Guilt began eating its way through Dean and he brought both hands up to run through his hair, "Dammit, that's not what I want! I didn't mean anything I said I was just pissed!" Sam shot his brother a knowing look, Dean never was one to express anything verbally so he did it through actions. Tonight only proved to Sam that Dean couldn't bring himself to admit his feelings for you, so he sabotaged his relationship with you instead.

"Dean you need to find her and fix this, now."

Nodding he quickly made his way to the garage, Sam and Kevin trailing behind him. At first once they looked around they weren't sure how you left since all the cars seemed to be in place, but then Dean noticed the motorcycle missing, he knew how much you loved it. Running back inside he ran to the main room, stopping to open Sam's laptop he quickly began typing.

"Dean what are you doing? We need to go find Y/N!" Sam stood there with a surprised look on his face, why hadn't his brother jumped in the impala yet?

"We don't know where she went Sammy. I'm checking to see if, DAMMIT!!"

Both Kevin and Sam jumped at Deans sudden outburst, leaning back in his seat Dean growled, "She turned off the GPS on her phone." Sam wasn't surprised, you knew just as much as they did about staying off the grid, which was going to make it even harder for them to find you. Suddenly Sam's brain clicked with an idea, moving forward he took the laptop from Dean, ignoring his brothers protests he began searching for what he needed.

After a few tense minutes Sam grinned, "I know where she is."

Leaning over Sam's shoulder Dean recognized a slightly different GPS tracking site, "What are you using to track her?" Standing up Sam walked towards the door, grabbing his coat along the way.

"You remember last Christmas, the necklace we gave her?" Deans face showed confusion but he nodded his head.

"I put a tracker in it, in case she was ever taken or anything happened to her."

Dean began running after Sam eager to get to baby and find you, "Nice work Sammy."

Reaching the car both men jumped in and Dean waisted no time in speeding off, Sam called Kevin and asked where the signal stopped. The coordinates he gave led them two hours away to a small motel off the highway. Pulling up and parking Dean felt a small weight lift off at the site of the Indian sitting outside. He knew you never parked in front of your own room but he also knew you wouldn't be but a couple rooms away.

Climbing out of the car they both made their way towards what they felt was your room, a small light shone through a space between the curtains. Lifting his hand Sam knocked and waited for your reply. Knowing no one should know where you were you had your pistol ready as you cracked the door opened, confusion covered your face as you saw Sam standing there.

"Sam? How the hell did you find me?"

Moving to let him in your eyes followed the tall giant as he stepped inside your room, "Doesn't matter the important thing is we found you."

"We?" You asked, even more confused.

"We." Hearing the voice behind you caused you to tense up, turning slowly your head lifted and your eyes met Deans as he stood directly behind you. Simply staring into each others eyes neither of you spoke at first, almost as though you didn't want to break the moment. Sam cleared his throat which made you both blink and back away a step or two. Crossing your arms you walked across the room and bent over to turn off the TV. Turning around you couldn't look at the brothers, instead opting to stare at the stained carpet.

"Why are you guys here, I told Kevin I wouldn't be gone forever. I just figured some time away would, I don't know, make things easier."

"Sam can you let us talk for a minute, alone."

Turning to his brother Sam nodded and began walking towards the door, giving you a sympathetic look and whispering to Dean to 'be nice' he walked outside, shutting the door behind him. Neither of you moved or spoke, neither really knew what to say. Dean always hated the touchy feely emotional stuff, but he knew right now he needed to suck it up, or risk losing you entirely.

"Dean I..."

"Look you..."

Both of you smiled, walking forward he stopped just in front of you, hands in his pockets. "Y/N I never meant any of what I said. I was just pissed off and took it out on you, which wasn't fair. I'm really sorry."

Looking up you could see the truth written all over his face, dropping your arms you turned and sat on the end of the bed. "Dean it wasn't just what you said tonight, you've been shutting me out for a while now. I just thought you were being crabby but after tonight I thought maybe I really was making things harder for you." Staring hard at your hands as your forearms were propped on your knees you refused to look up, unsure of what you would see.

Deans shoulders dropped at your words, he never realized that by keeping his distance he was actually hurting you. Moving to stand in front of you he dropped to one knee and placed both his hands on top of yours, "Sweetheart look at me."

Slowly lifting your head you tried to hold back the tears filling your eyes, as one escaped and began sliding down your cheek Dean lifted his hand to brush it away. "I never meant to hurt you, the last thing I want in this world is to cause you any pain, or make you feel unwanted. Y/N you make me so happy it scares me, your always there to help us through the tough times and make the good ones even better. When you smile I can actually feel the warmth coming from it." His hand holding yours squeezed slightly and the one on your cheek moved down your arm to rest on your waist.

Looking down and closing his eyes Dean took a deep breath, "Your the one I could never stand to lose in this life Y/N, I want nothing more than to have you with me all the time. I never meant to be an asshole I just thought you'd be better off without me."

Frowning you took one hand and lifted his face to look at you, as his eyes opened your frown deepened. "That wasn't your call to make Dean, if I want to be around you I will be. Your an incredibly big part of my life and I've always known that without you I'd be lost. Dean I know how you are when it comes to loved ones, I need you to understand that I've had feelings for you for years now. Your an amazing man, I've always told myself that even though you'd never see me that way I still wanted you in my life. Even if I die tomorrow it would still be worth it. Nothing but death is guaranteed in this life, so why not enjoy what makes it worth it while we can?"

Dean sat there, eyes wide, he never realized you felt the same way he did. Suddenly your words registered and he frowned slightly, "Never see you that way? Sweetheart I've always seen you that way."

Now it was your turn to look surprised, opening your mouth to say something you were cut off by Deans lips on yours. They were soft and warm, just how you'd imagined them. Lifting both hands you placed them on either side of his neck, tilting your head to kiss him back eagerly. Deans hands gripped your waist tight as he pulled you forward off the bed and flush against his body. Once oxygen became a dire need you both pulled away, panting hard.

Grinning like an i***t you both laughed and shared a quick sweet kiss, leaning his forehead against yours Dean softly rubbed his nose along yours. "What do you say we go home?"

Smiling big you pecked his lips and sat back slightly, looking at him with all the love you felt, "I say hell yes."