Supernatural One Shots

Never Knew

Dean x Reader

Reader has major self-esteem issues that come to light during a shifter case.

Warning: mentions of depression, suicide, and other insecurities

*To anyone suffering please know you are NOT alone! No matter how dark it seems there is always someone willing to help, your life matters, YOU matter. Always Keep Fighting my dears!

Walking back towards the motel you stopped at a crosswalk, checking both directions as you set off for the other side. Reaching the sidewalk and turning slightly you noticed the movement at the crosswalk you just left out of the corner of your eye. Looking back ahead you kept a steady pace as you pulled out your phone. Dialing the familiar number you waited patiently for an answer.

"Y/N?"

"Hey Sam, um I'm on my way back just wanted to let you know the Millers were a dead end. Didn't really get anything useful from em."

"Oh, alright then well I guess we'll see you in a minute. I think I may have found where the shifter is sta..."

"Aww man gross!"

"Y/N? What's wrong?"

Stopping and picking up your foot you looked at the clean bottom with a grossed out expression. "Ugh, I don't know what I just stepped in but somethings stuck to my shoe."

Over the phone you heard Sam's chair scrape the floor as he stood up, "Where are you?" In the back ground you could hear Deans voice, you couldn't make out any words but he sounded worried.

Standing back up and pretending to scrape off your shoe you looked around before continuing to walk, "It's fine Sam, look I'm just two blocks over on Stanton Street, I'll see you guys soon." Hanging up the phone you continued walking, all the while trying to pull out the silver knife you kept in your jacket. Just as you felt ready to turn and face whoever had been following you something hit the back of your head. Falling to the ground your eyes opened slowly to see a blurry version of a man standing over you.

A quick kick to the face and all you knew was darkness.

Sam and Dean ran down the sidewalk, earning a disapproving look from one old lady out walking her tiny dog. Coming out on Stanton street they looked around but couldn't see you anywhere. Dean stopped when something caught his attention on the ground. Walking forward and bending down he picked up the familiar silver knife. Holding it up for Sam to see he gripped it tighter while turning in a circle, knowing the shifter had you.

Waking up you groaned at the pain you felt, before you even opened your eyes you knew you were tied up. What you didn't expect was to be sitting there in nothing but your underwear and a huge dirty t-shirt. Finally opening your eyes you took in the surroundings, instantly knowing you were in the sewer. Water dripped and steam escaped from a few pipes overhead. A sudden burst of air made you shiver and draw your legs in closer.

Suddenly you heard shuffling and a moan from the other side of the room. Your eyes instantly moved to fall on the slumped over man tied to a large pipe. His head lifted and familiar green eyes met yours, freezing you in shock. "Dean?"

Worry filled his eyes and he tried to lean forward as far as the handcuffs would allow, "Y/N, are you alright?" Nodding your head you tried pulling on your own handcuffs while looking around to find something to pick the lock with. "How the hell did you end up here? Where's Sam?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "Shifter got the drop on me when we came down here looking for you. My guess is she's going after Sam now."

Your eyes went back to Dean, "She?"

Dean stopped struggling and you could have sworn his cheeks reddened slightly, "Yeah she um, may have shifted into, you."

Narrowing your eyes you shot him an irritated glare, "Seriously Dean? You couldn't tell the difference in a fake me?"

"She was pretty damn convincing okay!"

"Rolling your eyes you once again tried to focus on anything that would help get you free, "Whatever lets just get out of here."

"Well look who decided to wake up and join the party, have a good nap?"

Looking up you became slightly weirded out by looking at your own face, "Best sleep I've got in a while thanks." Sarcasm was always your go to, although sometimes it got you in a few jams, this time was no different.

Shifter you began pacing around the room, stopping just as she reached Dean. Kneeling down to eye level she reached forward to run a hand down his cheek, he simply shot her a b***h face and moved away, "Get away from me bitch."

"Wow, you weren't wrong sweetie, he really doesn't seem to like you very much."

The comment made you and Dean both freeze, his eyes immediately snapped to yours. By now you knew your eyes were wide and your face slack, instantly knowing what was coming, and that there was nothing you could do about it.

The shifter stood back up, walking towards you, "You know, one of my favorite parts of shifting into someone is the memories and thoughts that come with it. You can actually see who they really are, what makes them tick," here she knelt down in front of you, smirking. "Or what breaks them."

You refused to back down, meeting her stare with your own, "Shut up."

Without breaking eye contact she grinned, "Your all kinds of broken, aren't you Y/N? Watched your family die, couldn't save em. Always too slow to kill the monster before it takes more victims. Never been in a relationship that lasted more than a night, obviously not good enough." With this she stood up, turning to face Dean and smirk, "Even fell in love with a hunter who you know full well would never give you the time of day compared to his usual conquests. Your a sidekick, someone who tags along hoping to do good where you go but only causes problems."

Turning back around she met your eyes which had begun to water slightly, knowing she was hitting every one of your sore spots full force. Bending over she reached forward to brush the hair from your eyes making you lean away from her touch. Tilting her head she seemed to study you, "All these memories, crying yourself to sleep, wondering why your never enough, the countless nightmares, your pretty pathetic you know that? Just think, if I kill you now it'd save you the trouble of waiting around to die on a hunt, as you've thought about quite often from what I can tell from your thoughts."

Taking a chance you looked over to see Dean staring at you, mouth open and pain in his eyes. Now he knows how pathetic I am, things will never be the same. Looking down and closing your eyes you felt your shoulders drop, lifting your head you met the shifters eyes, "How about a little action for all that talk, save the evil villain monologue and just do it already."

Grinning down at you she turned to grab a knife from the table beside her, careful not to touch the blade. Dean began to panic, pulling harder at the cuffs already cutting into his wrists, "Don't touch her! Damnit you hurt her and I'll rip your throat out with my bare hands!"

Laughing out loud she looked between Dean and you, "Oh my, what's that I hear, could it be, concern? Could THE Dean Winchester actually care about you?" Crouching down once more to your level she put one hand around your throat, squeezing until you gasped. "Too bad you won't find out," with that she pulled back the arm holding the knife, just before she brought it back forward three shot rang out. Her eyes widened as she looked once more at your face and fell onto you. Eyes open and blood dripping from her mouth, seeing yourself dead like that was something you would never forget.

Sam stood there holding his pistol, putting it away he first unlocked Dean, who once free jumped up and ran straight for you. Not being able to tear your eyes away from your dead face you couldn't respond when he called your name. Pulling the body away he held your face in his hands and gently turned you to face him, once you blinked he sighed, "You okay?" Blinking a couple more times you nodded, feeling Sam behind you picking the lock, "Yeah I'm okay, just weird seeing a dead me."

Deans gaze travelled down to look at her, the image being one that would be burned into his memory forever. Shaking his head he stood up, pulling you with him. Putting an arm around your waist he began leading you out of the sewer, "Let's go."

Halfway to the door you stopped, suddenly realizing something, Dean looked down at you in confusion.

"Um, can you guys give me a minute? I kinda want my clothes back, don't really want to walk out in public like this," you gestured to the large t-shirt that barely made it to mid thigh on you. Dean nodded, "Alright, we'll be outside." Once the boys left you took a deep breath, turning back around and walking forward you knelt beside the shifters body.

Opening the motel door you walked in feeling exhausted and sore, "I call first dibs on a shower, promise I'll be quick!" Grabbing your bag and heading into the bathroom you closed the door firmly behind you and leaned against it. The whole ride back was silent, Dean giving you quick glances in the rearview mirror. You knew he wanted to talk about what happened but you couldn't face him now, maybe not even later.

After taking a shower and throwing on some shorts and a tank top you dried your hair as much as you could with the towel before grabbing everything and opening the door. Throwing it all at the end of the couch you turned around to see Dean sitting on the end of his bed, obviously waiting for you, no Sam in sight. Growing nervous you crossed your arms, "Where's Sam?"

Dean eyes rose from his hands rubbing together to meet your gaze, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Obviously there would be no avoiding it, crossing your arms and looking down at the worn carpet you shrugged, "Never came up I guess." You heard him sigh and stand up, looking up you watched him take a few steps towards you and stop.

"Was it true? Everything she said, was it all true?"

Feeling the familiar burn in the back of your eyes you cleared your throat in a weak attempt to keep your composure, looking back down once more you began concentrating hard on a small stain by your foot. "Yeah, yeah it was true. Look I know what your thinking and if it would make you feel better I can leave." Chancing a look up he just seemed confused. Before he could open his mouth you dropped both arms and turned around to grab your duffle bag.

"I knew I should have left a long time ago, I don't expect you to say anything Dean I know you don't feel the same way. And there's no point in hunting with someone as broken as I am, I'll be better on my own. Less chance for me to get anyone but myself killed." Zipping up the bag you stood up, just as you began pulling the strap over your head you felt hands reach up to block you.

Dean grabbed the strap from you and set the bag back on the floor, keeping your back to his front you then felt him press his body against yours slowly. Reaching forward he wrapped one arm around your waist while his other hand brushed the hair from your neck. Slowly, as though asking for permission you felt him place a soft kiss under your ear, "Who says I don't feel the same way?"

You didn't realize the breath you'd been holding until hearing that made all the air in your lungs rush out. Turning around your eyes met his, looking for any hint of lying. Finding none your eyes widened, "What are you saying Dean?"

Pulling you tighter to his chest and resting his forehead against yours he let out a deep breath as his eyes closed, "I've had feelings for you since that day you yelled at Sam for scratching Baby. You've always been this bright cloud in my shitstorm of a life, your always there when I need to let it all out, and you watch out for Sammy as though he were your own brother. I never thought I'd be good enough for you, hell I still don't really. But hearing that shifter tonight, listening to the way you've been suffering alone all this time, my heart broke sweetheart. I don't care of I have to spend every day proving it to you, your it for me."

Tears began to fall freely, no way you could hold back that dam with the waterfall of emotions coursing through your system. Reaching up to wrap both arms around his neck you waited until he opened his eyes, "The day we took Sam to get that stupid book he wanted from Nebraska, that was the day I fell for you."

Deans face folded in confusion, "Really?"

Gigging you nodded, "Yeah, while we were waiting you played Eye of The Tiger and jammed out, even jumped up on baby and danced. You always know how to make me laugh, even when I don't feel like it. I've never really said it before, but thank you Dean."

Smiling wide he leaned forward to connect his lips to your in a long overdue kiss, pulling back he once again grinned at you. "Anytime sweetheart."

So this one took a few edits for me before I felt ready to publish it, but overall I feel pretty good with how it turned out.