Killing Heather

Chapter 10

I turned the key to start the ignition, and released a chopped breath. The car was littered with clothes, garbage and printed pictures of her from different angels of her room. It almost disgusted me at the sight of my own monstrous obsession. My gasps of air seeming to search more for understanding of what had just happened and less focused on catching air itself. A few solemn tears rolled down my cheeks in a mixture of sheer bliss and overstimulation. This opens such an unexpected opening to her that I could have never imagined possible. I can’t get too wrapped up in this now. I need to regroup, and focus on cleaning up my loose ends before she finds out I’m a fake. I told her I’m a neighbor.. what if she asked to come to my house? I don’t live anywhere near here. Perhaps I’ve really gone too far with this. She’s going to know it’s me someday.

Creeping panic slowly grows on me, and I lower my head in silent anguish. My hands clutched firmly against the steering wheel I begin to weep. Jesus Christ I’m f*****g crazy.. that’s it. I’m insane. This has gone too far.

I begin to grasp quickly at the many pictures of her laid out around the passenger seat and crushing them into tight balls, in an angered attempt to prove I was better than my obsession. For a moment. I really was strong. I convinced myself to collect myself, and drive away.

With the tears wiped from my eyes I lower the clutch with my left foot, hold the break lightly and slide the shift knob into the 1st gear. I slowly begin to lift my foot off the clutch, and ease lightly on the gas.

*TAP TAP TAP*

A sharp noise snaps my neck to the left, and before I could react my body forgot what it was doing. My foot released the clutch, and the car slammed into 1st gear stalling the engine in the process with a large jerking motion to the whole car.

How long has she been standing there….

How f*****g long has she been-

“Hey! Are you going to talk to me?”

I roll down the window as calmly as I can. Ignoring the fact that I am an absolute emotional wreck inside.

“Hey, what’s up?” I shyly cough out

I could tell she knew something was up. She’s extremely expressive with her face, and I don’t think she can help it.

“Will I see you again? I’m sorry about all th-“

“It’s okay, and of course” I responded instantly cutting her off. I’m basically frantic at this point but I’m not trying to come off that way.

I start the car again. I can’t make out the last thing she said to me over the eruption of the engine.

I throw the car in gear and pull away with her still standing there in the street. I watch her as her eyes follow my car until I was completely out of view.