Water Lily

19

Lin Yan squatted on the living room floor, helping Le Le assemble parasol leaf-shaped building blocks. Song Xiaoran emerged from the kitchen wearing an apron, holding a plate of freshly baked cookies: "Le Le, don’t pester Daddy all the time. Let him rest—he’s been exhausted with his project lately."

Sunlight streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows, warming the blocks with a reassuring glow. It had been three weeks since he’d cut off contact with Su Wan. He’d declined all work coordination that might bring him into contact with her, coming home promptly after work to read to Le Le, help Song Xiaoran with housework, and strive to make amends for his past mistakes. Song Xiaoran smiled more often now, and the home’s atmosphere had returned to its former warmth. Lin Yan even dared to hope that those secret memories might truly fade with time.

Until his phone suddenly rang sharply, the name "Su Wan" flashing on the screen like a clap of thunder, shattering the peace.

Lin Yan’s hand froze mid-air. The building blocks clattered to the floor with a sharp sound. Le Le looked up at him: "Daddy, who is it?"

"Something with the project team," Lin Yan lied instinctively, grabbing the phone and hurrying to the balcony. He pulled the glass door shut behind him, lowering his voice to barely a whisper: "Hello?"

On the other end came rapid gasps, mixed with firefighters’ shouts and shrill sirens: "Lin Yan... help me..." It was Su Wan’s voice—weak and desperate—with crackling flames audible in the background.

"Wanwan? What’s wrong? Where are you?" Lin Yan’s heart clenched violently, his voice trembling uncontrollably.

"My studio... it’s on fire..." Su Wan’s voice was choked with tears, fragmented and ****. "I’m trapped on the second floor... the smoke is so thick... Lin Yan, I’m scared..."

"The address! What’s your studio’s address?" Lin Yan’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the phone, his nails digging deep into his palm. His mind went blank, consumed only by the thought that "Su Wan is in danger."

After Su Wan blurted out the address, the call abruptly cut off. Acting on pure instinct, Lin Yan grabbed his coat and rushed into the living room: "Xiaoran, emergency with the project team! The art studio is on fire—I have to go!"

The smile froze on Song Xiaoran’s face, and the plate of cookies in her hand trembled slightly: "On fire? Is it serious? Do you want me to go with you?"

"No!" Lin Yan’s voice was unusually urgent, so much so that he didn’t dare meet her eyes. "Stay here with Le Le and Grandma. I’ll be back as soon as I handle this." He snatched his car keys and darted for the door, not even bothering to put on his shoes properly. He left only a hasty "Don’t worry" before disappearing outside.

The car raced down the road, Lin Yan’s hands clamped tightly on the steering wheel, his knuckles stark white. He replayed Su Wan’s voice over and over in his mind—her fear and dependence pricking at his heart like needles. The resolve he’d felt when cutting off contact, the promises he’d made to Song Xiaoran, crumbled instantly in the face of news that Su Wan was trapped in a burning building. He could reject her tenderness, could uphold his promise to stay away—but he couldn’t stand by and do nothing while her life hung in the balance.

This isn’t betrayal, he told himself. It’s just... one last act of care for someone he’d cherished for years.

The old alley where the studio was located was cordoned off, thick smoke billowing into the sky, flames l*****g at the building. Firefighters scrambled to put out the blaze, with a few neighbors watching from behind the police tape. Lin Yan rushed forward, only to be stopped by a firefighter: "Sir, it’s dangerous inside—you can’t go in!"

"My friend is in there! Second floor!" Lin Yan’s voice was hoarse as he pointed at the burning studio. "Her name is Su Wan—she’s trapped! Please, hurry and save her!"

"We’re doing everything we can. Please stay calm," the firefighter said, holding him back by the shoulders.

Lin Yan stood behind the cordon, watching the studio engulfed in flames, his heart as if scorched by the fire. He remembered the first time he’d visited—Su Wan smiling as she showed him the parasol leaf oil paintings on the walls; the day he’d ended their contact—her tears as she said "I’ll have nothing left if you go"; those secret moments in the studio—the scent of turpentine, gardenia perfume, their overlapping shadows... These memories surged over him like a tide, leaving him almost unable to stand.

Regret flooded him—if he hadn’t cut off contact, if he’d replied to her message yesterday, if only... He didn’t dare dwell on it, staring fixedly at the studio and praying for Su Wan’s safe escape.

After what felt like an eternity, firefighters carried a stretcher out of the burning building, the person on it covered with a white cloth. Lin Yan’s heart plummeted. He rushed forward like a man possessed: "Is that Su Wan? How is she?"

"Sir, please calm down!" the firefighter stopped him. "There’s still one more trapped person inside—we’re searching for them now."

Lin Yan swayed, nearly collapsing. He leaned against the wall, gasping for breath, cold sweat soaking through his back. It wasn’t until another stretcher emerged that he saw her—covered in soot, a few strands of hair singed, her arms burned—but Lin Yan recognized Su Wan instantly.

"Wanwan!" He broke free of the firefighter’s grip and rushed to the stretcher, his voice choking. "How are you? Are you okay?"

Su Wan slowly opened her eyes. Surprise flickered across her face when she saw him, followed by tears. She reached out weakly: "Lin Yan... you came..."

"I’m here. I’m right here," Lin Yan clasped her hand tightly—her skin was burning hot, the pain of her burns evident through her touch. "Don’t be scared. It’s over now. You’re safe."

Su Wan was loaded into an ambulance. Lin Yan tried to climb aboard, but was stopped: "Sir, you can’t go with us. Only the patient and medical staff are allowed."

"I’m her family!" Lin Yan blurted out, only realizing what he’d said after the words left his mouth. He watched the ambulance roar away, his mind in chaos—family? What right did he have to call himself her family? Song Xiaoran was still at home waiting for him, Le Le still assembling blocks, and here he was, breaking all his promises for another woman.

But he had no time to dwell on it. He immediately drove after the ambulance to the hospital. Throughout the drive, Su Wan’s weak voice echoed in his head. Looking at his flustered reflection in the rearview mirror, he knew he’d lost again—defeated by the deep-seated concern he felt for Su Wan, defeated by the unresolved obsession of his youth.

Outside the hospital’s emergency room, Lin Yan waited anxiously. Su Wan’s parents and Shen Ze arrived one after another. When Shen Ze saw Lin Yan, he frowned: "Professor Lin? What are you doing here?"

"I... I was passing by, saw the studio was on fire, so I came to check," Lin Yan lied instinctively, avoiding Shen Ze’s gaze.

Su Wan’s mother, her eyes red from crying, took Lin Yan’s hand: "Thank goodness you called us right away. Otherwise, we would have had no idea... That girl is just too stubborn, insisting on guarding the studio alone."

Lin Yan’s heart was a jumble of emotions. He wasn’t the one who’d called them—he’d rushed over without a second thought after receiving Su Wan’s desperate phone call. But this secret was one he couldn’t share, not even with her parents.

The doctor emerged to say that Su Wan was out of danger—she had burns on her arms and legs, and had inhaled a small amount of smoke, but would need to be hospitalized for observation. Lin Yan let out a sigh of relief, only to be plunged into a new dilemma—should he stay to take care of Su Wan, or rush home to explain to Song Xiaoran?

Shen Ze frowned as he answered a phone call, turning to Su Wan’s mother: "I have an emergency meeting at the company. I’ll head back first and come by later." He turned and left without glancing at the hospital room—cold and indifferent as always.

Su Wan’s mother needed to go home to pack some things, asking Lin Yan to keep an eye on her daughter for a while. Lin Yan stared at the hospital room door, torn apart by conflicting impulses. He knew he should leave, but his feet felt as if weighed down by lead, impossible to move.

In the end, he pushed open the hospital room door. Su Wan lay in bed, her face pale. When she saw him, a glimmer of dependence flickered in her eyes: "Lin Yan? You didn’t leave?"

"No," Lin Yan sat beside the bed, looking at her burned arm, his heart filled with compassion. "Does it hurt?"

Su Wan shook her head, but tears rolled down her cheeks: "I thought... you wouldn’t come. Didn’t you say we were done?"

Lin Yan said nothing. He didn’t know how to answer—tell her he’d come on instinct? Admit he couldn’t let her go? Those words would betray both Song Xiaoran and his own resolve to end things.

Silence filled the room, broken only by the beeping of medical equipment. As Lin Yan looked at Su Wan’s pale face, a stark realization hit him: some bonds aren’t easily broken; some obsessions are etched into the very core of your being. He could lie to Song Xiaoran, could force himself to stay away from Su Wan—but he couldn’t remain indifferent when her life was at stake.

And yet, this unshakable concern was built on the pain of hurting someone else. Lin Yan stared out the window at the sky, his heart filled with overwhelming confusion. He had no idea where this accident would take his relationship with Su Wan, or how he would ever face Song Xiaoran—who was still waiting for him at home.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. It was a message from Song Xiaoran: "Did you finish handling things? Le Le misses you. She’s asking when Daddy will be home to read her a bedtime story."

Lin Yan stared at the message, his finger hovering over the screen for a long time. In the end, he didn’t reply. He knew he’d broken his promise again, trapped himself in an inescapable predicament. And this time, he didn’t even know if there was a way back.