Will I ever be happy

Fake

My mother opens the door holding a black dress and black high heels. Walks to my direction and throws it on me "Quickly wear this! " she said looking at me as if I was a disgrace.

"I will not" hatred and anger visable in both our eyes.

"I said wear it" she yells

"I said I will not" looking at her with teary eyes.

The woman I loved and praised changed over night and became this beast.

She gives me a tight slap and tells me to wear it. Five fingers mark on my face.

I get in the car with her wearing the dress and heels. We arrive at our house and the memories come back of me screaming, crying but I ignore them, we walk inside confidently and there were people inside wearing black,

it is a funeral.

My mother pinches me "don't tell anyone where you were or you know what will happen to you".

"Amara, how are you sorry thats a stupid question, are you okay?" said a nice woman coming to hug me.

in her arm, I feel like every thing is going to be okay, she is loving, caring and I need that.

Tears starts flowing down my face and she wipes them, my mother not even bothered about me.

"my darling, everything is going to be okay, you still have your mom and your dad is in a better place.

My mother stands in front of us and picks up the mic on the floor. "I would like to thank all of you for coming to mourn with us for our loss, the murderer didn't even let u....."sobbing voice, tears flowing down her face.

Is she even human, she killed him and now blames it on someone else. I wish I could erase her from my life.

She continues" they didn't even let's us bury him, they burnt his whole body and left, his ashes are floating in the river, my daughter and I went to the river yesterday, I would like her to come and say a few words" she uses her hands to gesture I should come up.

I take the mic from her "my dad was the nicest father and loved me and my mom" teary eyes again" and may his soul rest in peace and may those who killed him get punished" I give her the mic and go back to the crowd only to find the woman I was with a few minutes ago was gone.

I sit on the chair far away from everyone and watch as my mother smiles and lies to everyone around her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nthebiseng Pov

That useless girl is just sitting there doing nothing, I am waiting for all these people to leave so I can teach her a good lesson.

"Ma, can I go upstairs to sleep" said Amara, I grab her arm and tighten my grip on her "don't ever call me ma again" I whisper letting her go making sure no one sees me.

She goes back to her little corner looking at me with hatred.

"Ms Dzena, let's talk about business" I walk him to my library. "The James family are not paying us back and that's a loss for us" he looks at me waiting for me to make a decision.

"Then do what we do to people that don't pay us back also make sure it doesn't trace back to us and steal something worth alot of money" standing in front of the mirror in my library room doing touch-ups to my make-up.

"you know laus, all of us are different but it always depends on who is on top, my husband thought beating me will always make him on top and now hating his angel will make me on top" he opens his door and leaves calling people for the job.

I lock the door and go to my bathroom and take off my clothes. Look at myself in the mirror and see so many bruises and scars on it.

"this is what happens when you let a man like Mpho ruin you but now that asshole is where he belongs" I say to myself and go to the shower.

The hot water makes me vulnerable

someone knocks on the door, I go to check who it is wearing a gown, it was a man with dark eyes, tattoos on his body.

"please come in" he walks inside.

"Ma'am I will like to ask where the toilet is" he says looking at my body.

"umm the toilet is not here, it is that side" I say looking at him.

"you know if you want we could do something dangerous, everyone went home, it is just the two of us" I smile.

He walks closer to me and starts kissing my neck and slowly takes off my gown kissing me.

Nothing underneath.

He keeps on kissing my body and I bite my lips, till he reaches it, my special spot and kiss it, he comes back up and starts kissing me on the lips while he carries me to the bed.

"Are you sure" he looks at me with his midnight eyes. I nod, unbutton his shirt and throw it on the floor.

He goes down and starts licking it.

It been so long since something went down there.

I moan loudly and he just smiles at me.

Few years ago

You little slut, you don't deserve to be happy I told you to go didn't I but you kept on imagining f*****g my friends right?" said Mpho as he hit my head on the wall.

" go away" I push him. "what's wrong?" I look around and he was not there. "I am so sorry, I just can't do this" I say picking up my gown and wearing it. "what did I do wrong?" he mutters, I walk to him and kiss him on the cheek.

"you did nothing wrong it's just that I haven't healed yet" I whisper into his ear kissing him again on the cheek.

He picks up his shirt and kisses me on the forehead and leaves.

Now my only goal should be to be on top. My Mpho always was on the top, he had the perfect wife, kids, he was a business man and had his illegal business on the side and after his planed death, I have to take both of them to new highs.

I go to the mirror and start decking myself with jewelry and make up.

Thank you so much for reading.

Kisses and love from your writer ❤️❤️❤️